CHAPTER TEN
Three days.
That's how long I hadn't slept.
It was also three days without a nightmare, and that was the longest I'd had for months, but it didn't mean I had gotten time away from him like I thought I would.
I saw him outside my nightmares now; standing in corners, following me around, his clouded face taunting me even with my eyes open. Even now, as I stood in the kitchen, he stood a few feet away just watching, but I pretended I didn't notice and poured the hot water into my cup.
I tried killing him the first time he appeared, and the second, but his image just disappeared and reappeared somewhere else. It didn't take long for me to realize that it was just hallucinations must likely brought on by my lack of sleep, but I could handle them; they couldn't do anything.
"Do I need to hide the coffee?" I clutched my chest in fright and glared at Sairen who seemingly appeared out of nowhere. I had been so preoccupied with my thoughts that I hadn't notice him enter the kitchen, or that my cup was overflowing.
"Shit. " My movements were sluggish as I wiped the spilled water from the counter, ignoring the slight burn on my hand. "Do I need to put a bell on you?"
He leaned casually against the doorframe, tucking his hands into the pockets of his pants. "I don't think that'll be necessary."
" No, but it'll be effective. I'm not trying to die of a heart attack; That will be such an anti-climatic way to go with the life I live. " I lifted the cup to my lips, grimacing when I took a sip. I forgot the damn coffee.
"How much," he waved his hand in the general direction of my cup. "did you have so far? You look... jittery. More so than usual."
"I couldn't say, I lost count after ten." I rubbed my burning eyes with my free hand as I added a spoon of dark roast into my cup. " I get why babies cry when they're tired. I want to cry because I'm tired. How do insomniacs deal with lack of sleep? "
" They just manage, I guess." He shrugged. "Why? Are you having trouble sleeping? Is that why you were such a pain in the ass yesterday?"
"I was not."
He tilted his head downwards, looking at me narrowly through his thick eyelashes. "Sol, you snapped at me because I asked if you wanted to take a rest during practice. "
"Because it was like the third time you asked," My eyes shifted to the corner of the room again, at the thing that was listening in on our conversation. "and I said 'no' the two times before."
"Well you looked as if you were ready to pass out. You still do."
I shook my head, trying to shake away the fatigue as well. "I'm good and I'll be better after this cup. I just need—augh." My glass shattered as I fell to the floor, clutching my head.
A sharp ringing pounded at the back of my head, drilling into my skull as it increased its tempo by the second. I felt Sairen's hands catch me before my head hit the marble floor, but I couldn't see even though I knew my eyes were open. His voice faded, inaudible with the ringing in my head.
I didn't know where I was. It had no direction; no up or down, no left or right, only endless white, yet my feet seemed intent on carrying me somewhere. My steps were silent in the empty place and no matter how much distance I covered it seemed like I hadn't move an inch but I kept walking through the void place, pushed forward by some force that wanted me to keep going. I caught a hint of color in the corner of my eye, somewhere in the blank canvas. I turned quickly to catch it and I froze.
He walked a few feet away on my left, his steps wider and sturdier than mine. His red hair burned away the plain-ness of our surroundings, and the shadow around his face seemed thinner. I made out high cheekbones and angular features behind the darkness of his mask and a dread filled me as I realized that the shadow that covered him was disappearing. His voice was an echo in the empty place; "I don't like being ignored, little light. "
I ignored him and kept walking, focusing on a little red spot on the horizon.
"I rather enjoy watching over you in your sleep. How do you expect me to do so if you're keep yourself awake?"
I kept quiet and quickened my pace and the dot in the distance seemed to grow larger every few steps.
"That's why I needed to find an alternative way to get through to you, though I admit that it was rather a bit difficult with my current condition. " His semi-shadowy head tilted down to me. " How is my recovery doing, you ask? A little slow, but excellent. Those souls are supplying me with all the energy I need to wake... "
That sentence almost got a reaction out of me but I remained calm, keeping Rae out of my mind.
"Do I need to scare you to get you to react, little light? " His voice had turned from playful to arctic in a split second. His strong hand grabbed my chin almost painfully, forcing my head upwards but I kept my mouth shut. "Are your screams the only way I'll hear your voice?"
The white around me peeled away into the shade of red I saw almost every night in my dreams. The sky was a raging scarlet, swarming with flying demons that swooped down into the streets below, adding more fuel to the chaos. His grip on my chin hardened and simultaneously all their heads turned towards me, their meals and fun forgotten as they crawled and slithered my way. Their talons, and paws and hands scraped the blood soaked ground as they drew nearer, then they disappeared along with his grip on my face. I pulled away, rubbing my bruising chin and swallowing my fear.
This was a dream.
This was a dream.
...But it felt so real.
His voice was bitter behind his fading mask. "Don't be stubborn Solaure, I want to talk to you. Let's get to know each other better so it wouldn't be too awkward when we meet again."
" Fine. " Time to stall... "Tell me how we're able to communicate like this. It hasn't happened before. "
I saw his mouth pull up behind the blackness, content with his little victory. "I'm simply poking into your subconscious, sending you messages while you sleep. It's become easier to do so recently because of the energy I'm gaining, so we'll be seeing a lot more of each other. "
"Why does that sound like a threat?" I busied my hand behind my back.
"You're free to interpret it however you want."
"Where's my mother and my friend?"
The shadow around his mouth shifted in what could only be interpreted as a malicious smile. "Have you sworn allegiance to me?"
" No. "
"Then I can't tell you."
" Well then, I have nothing left I want to talk about. " I took the knife that I had formed with my mind and plunged it into my chest.
I was in my bed when I woke again, my hand held closely to my heart, feeling for a wound that wasn't there. The room was dark, only a sliver of light crept in from the closed bathroom door, casting a thin rectangle on Sairen's form. His head rested on his hand as he slept on the chair, his chest moving steadily and I breathed a sigh of relief.
I stretched, switching on the lamp beside my bed and his eyes flickered with the new brightness. "Sai?"
His eyes opened, narrowing when he saw me. Sairen rose from the chair, placing the book he had in his lap on the seat. "What was that about being fine?"
I coughed and reached for the water by the nightstand. "How long was I out? "
"It's ten o'clock." He took the glass from me when I was finished and placed it back on the table.
"Oh, only two hours."
"At night."
"Oh," I'd been out for over half a day, yet I didn't feel rested at all. "I guess the caffeine wasn't strong enough."
He folded his arms across his broad chest, his Mark barely concealed by the fabric of his thin white t-shirt. "Of course. But you know what's scientifically proven to help you stay awake during the day? "
I opened my mouth to speak but the look he shot me made me shut right up. "That was a rhetorical question. Sleeping. Sleeping helps you not fall over and crack your skull on kitchen floors. Isn't that amazing? How long has it been since you got some of that? "
I was planning on matching his note of sarcasm with ones of my own, but right now he didn't look like he'd appreciate it. " Three days. "
"And how long were you planning on going without sleep?"
I rested my head on the headboard and closed my still tired eyes. " I averaged about a week before I completely shut down. But my body failed me once again. "
" Pir ila De'assami et Eles Setaeri, Solaure! You're going make me go grey by the end of this week. "
"No need to swear on the Goddess and the Greats, Sai. You'll look good with grey hair, foxy even." I opened my eyes a millimeter and peeked at him ."What do you say?"
"I know I will, but that's besides the point." He took the spot on the bed next to my feet. "Have the nightmares gotten that bad?"
"They've gotten worse." I ran my hand down my face, trying to wipe away some of my sleepiness. "The past couple of months they kept coming back to back, more vivid than it had ever been and now he's visiting me too. At first I thought it was just hallucinations because I wasn't sleeping, but when I passed out I saw him in my dream and he spoke to me."
"What did he say?"
"He said he was 'poking into my subconscious ' and that the hallucinations was just him checking in on me since I wasn't letting him do so while I was asleep."
"He's getting stronger,"
I nodded. "He said that as well. That's why he's able to appear to me while he's still unconscious."
Sairen's crescent creased. "But didn't he appear once before? On the day of our wedding, you said that you saw him and he gave you that scar." His fingers brushed the inside of my wrist and it burned, but it was not the scar this time but his touch.
"I know, and it took him eight years before he did so again, but now I see him all the time. He really is getting stronger and I'm afraid that it means he'll wake up soon." I rubbed at my heavy eyelids again, trying to keep them open.
"Are you still tired?"
"A bit. But I don't want to go back there," I shuddered, remembering his phantom touch. "A cup of coffee and I'll be fine. "
Sairen's dark hair bounced as he shook his head. "I think we already established that coffee isn't going to help. Get some sleep Sol, you need it or you'll crash and I'm not a fan of removing blood stains off of marble."
"But—"
"I'll be here to protect you, so you can rest."
I rolled my eyes. "I'm not six anymore. "
"No, but I'm still here." He brushed the stray strands away from my face and I held on to his hand.
"Stay, then."
"I plan to. "
I squeezed gently. "No, I mean stay right here. How are you supposed to protect me from quite over there? And I doubt you'd get a proper sleep in the chair. " I looked straight into those alluring eyes of his and hoped that he heard what I was silently trying to say. 'I don't want to be alone.'
His eyes softened and he settled down next to me. "Okay."
He extended his arm and I took the invitation, using it as a pillow and ditching my old one. I didn't think I could have fallen asleep so quickly, or that I'd have dreamless sleep in his arms.
The feel of his body pulling out from under mine woke me some time later, and my hand shot out, grabbing on to his wrist tighter than I meant to. "Where are you going?"
"To get some training in."
I opened my eyes slightly and turned towards the little clock on the nightstand, trying to focus on the bright neon numbers. "It's three o'clock."
Sai rotated his wrist as I let go and sat up, fixing his shirt. "I can't lie still anymore, my arm's dead and buried."
"You were up the whole time?"
"I got some rest on the couch and you needed your sleep, you still do."
I sat up too, stifling a yawn. "I can't. I'm pretty sure you're keeping the nightmares away. "
"Should I stay then?" He asked.
"No, no. I'll come down, I feel the most rested I've felt in months anyway."
"Well, then I'm glad to be of service." He said, his lips pulling up slightly. " Meet me in the training room in ten."
"Sure," I yawned. "Why not?"
There was a wolf in the training room.
A great black beast easily twice the size of a polar bear dwarfed the otherwise large space, intricate silver markings covering its massive body. Impressive white horns curved from its head, the ivory structures forming a sort of halo that added an extra foot to the hauntingly beautiful Creature. His great paws circled me in calculated movements, his eyes studying me, clearer than I'd ever seen them, as if they could peer into my soul. He nudged my leg with his maw.
"You're huge," the words were barely a breath that left my lips, but the Creature's ears perked up, catching the sound and it spoke, revealing grand white teeth.
"No weapons. No magics. Just your body." His voice was a low rumble that resonated from his chest and sent a shiver of fear down my spine. Fear that was illogical; It was still Sairen, just in the form of his animhi, but only the blind or a fool wouldn't cower at the sight of this beast.
"I didn't know Eçalian wolves grew to this size."
"They don't. "
"Of course." I swallowed my unease. "I forgot that you're special. "
He nudged my leg again. "Are you ready?"
I unsheathed my claws, and the gold gleamed in the light above. They weren't as big as his surely were, but they were mighty effective so I stared up at the giant, watching as his body readied itself for battle and I did the same.
It should have been nearly impossible for something so big to move as quickly as he did, yet I lost him even though he was right in front of me not a second before. The air shifted at my side and I twisted away to avoid contact, but something hit my back and I staggered, almost falling to my knees. I whirled around but he was already gone.
I tried to focus on sound since he left my vision unreliable but his feet only left silence and my agitation grew. I felt the familiarity of my eyes setting ablaze, of that frightening power awakening, and I went on the offence. I anticipated where he would be next, waiting for another shift in the air, and I slashed, my nails connecting with flesh. Silver ran down the gold talons and unto the ground.
The beast stopped, it's maw curling up in a smile or a sneer– I couldn't be completely sure. "Nice."
"Thank you. "
"Aim for my throat next time."
His body connected with mine and my back slammed onto the floor painfully, the air rushing out of my lungs upon impact . His massive paw rested on my chest, constricting my breathing further. "Always go in for the kill."
" I know." My claws brushed his throat, the other hovered over his heart. His weight shifted, then lightened until Sairen hovered over me, one hand on my waist the other by my head.
His eyes were still wild as he grinned down at me, still part beast. "You would have been dead at least six times in those two minutes if this was a real fight. "
"Only six?" I teased, still catching my breath, "You're loosing your touch, Siya."
He snickered and stood, pulling me up with him. " Don't go giving yourself an even bigger head just because you almost got one kill in. "
"Excuse me, almost? A bigger head?"
"I had you pinned down , you would have been dis-embowered in seconds." He shook his head, his teeth elongating until a full row of fangs filled his mouth. "We go until it takes me more than a few seconds to heal."
I thought I wanted to end it all countless times before today, I really did, but as I was banged and tossed across the gym floor by a colossal beast that would have been in my nightmares if I didn't know who it was, I really, really wanted to die right then.
Sairen's animhi had my ankle in his mouth, loose enough not to hurt but tight enough that I couldn't get away, his paw on my throat. The beast looked at me with narrowed eyes, telling me I was dead. Again. There were a few times where I thought I had come close to defeating him, but I was never close enough. He was faster and stronger, both in and out of animhi.
He dropped my foot and prowled around me. "Why are you just lying there?"
"I'm dead. This is what dead people do. Just lay there." His tail came down on my face, hard. "Sairen!"
"Get up."
"I've been trying to get up for the past minute, Sairen, but I think you broke me. You've been killing me for a while now and I'm exhausted."
"One more time and you can have a break." His cold nose nudged my shoulder, prying me up. "Come on."
" Okay," I whimpered, "Okay. Pull me up."
The Creature's teeth latched onto my jersey and he raised me up, my feet dangling a few feet above the ground, and I locked eyes with Matt at the door in his K.O.A.C uniform, his eyes wide.
"Why?— " Matt shook his head, "No, I don't want to know."
Sairen eased me to my feet and shifted back, working his jaw. "Are you heading out already?"
"Yeah. Things are a bit hectic with all that's been going on lately so they have us on patrols."
"How many? " That had become the standard question when he came back from work.
"Over twenty in the last thirty-two hours and that's not even counting the ones unaccounted for." He sighed and turned to Sai. "Grandfather called, he asked for you. "
Sairen untied his hair, his face suddenly hard. "You know what to say."
"I'm getting tired of sending the same message Siya." Matt's voice was firm, a tone I hadn't heard in a while. " I don't need his nagging in my head right now."
"Then stop answering," Sai snarled. "Better yet, tell him to stop fucking calling."
The room had taken on a sudden silence and a tension that didn't need me there, and I took it as a chance to intervene. "Where's Kali?"
Matt was still looking at Sairen when he answered. "She should be on her way down. "
"Okay," I faced Sai. "I'll be quick. "
"No need. You can take that break, we'll resume later on."
I frowned and walked out, leaving two fuming men behind, but no matter how much I didn't like being kept in the dark, I knew I had no right to be upset when I had things I rather not share as well.
I ran into Kali by the staircase, her K.O.A.C coat undone and hanging from her shoulders. Her steps faltered when she saw my glare. "Should you really be going to work? "
She raised her hands in surrender, sending me a guilty smile ." Don't worry, I haven't felt sick in a few days and I don't plan on taking any assignments anyway, I'll just keep busy at the lab. "
"You could just keep busy here, you know. "
"I know, but at least I can help get things done faster. I'll keep an eye on things and see if I can help with the progress of the blood samples; help Jules with that cure for Drea, you know? I can't stay home doing nothing while everyone else is overwhelmed and overworked." She shrugged and continued buttoning up her coat. "I'd like if you can come though, I'll get you a pass and give you a tour of K.O.A.C."
I shook my head regretfully, "Sairen's keeping me on my toes with training and I still have a lot to do here, so maybe next time?"
"Okay. Next time it is."
"And be careful Akali."
She gave me a quick hug before she continued down the stairs. "I will."
My vision became fuzzy during the walk to my room and I had to take measured steps on the swaying floor, pausing only long enough to hold onto the wall to steady myself. I felt myself being pulled away, my consciousness from my body, then the swaying stopped and I wasn't where I was before.
I recognized the dark room from my dreams, the light from the candles illuminated a circle in the middle where a pentagram was drawn out of black liquid. Schadeux stood next to me, their hand on my arm.
'Look,' They said.
The woman walked to the center of the pentagram and knelt, her raven hair cascading from her blood red hood, a knife in her pale hand and she plunged downwards. The sound of metal piercing skin echoed through the dark room and the vision faded.
I staggered forward as if pushed back into reality and I made a run for my room, catching Shadeux trailing swiftly behind. I pulled the candles out from under my bed, setting it in formation and filled the basin. I sat, keeping the image in my mind and cut my hand, letting my blood paint the water silver. The incantation flowed from my lips with ease now, almost second nature and my room transformed into the one I saw.
The black haired woman stood, her hands painted with blood. A cloaked figure approached her with a towel and she cleaned her hands, staining the white red and she drew back her hood.
Haunting. That was the way I'd describe her.
Her skin was unearthly pale, bleached more by her hair which I saw was a dark blue in the candlelight. Her eyes were the same shade as her hair, if not a few shades lighter as it caught the swirling flames. The red of her lips mocked the blood she wiped from her hands.
"How much more?" She asked the figure with the now stained towel. Her voice was alluring, almost soothing, but it held deadly undertones.
"A hundred, maybe two, my lady. "
"And why are the numbers continuously growing?"
" The Lord is needing too much energy. It's taking more than we anticipated to wake him and we still need to feed him enough so he can open the portal. The damage he endured—"
"I know all about the damages he endured, Maverick. I was there."
"Yes, my lady."
"Are we going to make the deadline?"
" If we try. "
"Then do so. Collect more souls. Steal people from their beds, I don't care. As long as we give him what he wants. Or we're all fucked. "
"Yes, my lady. "
"And our guest upstairs?"
" Exactly how you left her. "
"Excellent. See how everyone else is doing with their collections. We need them for the—" She paused. The woman turned, surveying the room, and her body stiffened as she faced me.
I froze, holding my breath, but I was certain that she met my eyes, and I was pushed out.
I wiped my bleeding nose, relit the candles and tried again but it felt like running against the tide.
I couldn't get through again no matter how hard I tried, no matter how many candles I burned. I was locked out.