I stay in the hospital for a quarter of the month and just sulk. Most of the bruising went away except a few stubborn yellow ones along my ribs.
I'll be ok tho.
Mr. McCarter came by everyday to check on me and even told me that the foster parents still wanted me.
I get upset about that but oh well.
What can I do?
Mother was charged with child abuse, child endangerment, and attempted murder. Not surprising to be honest. She's meant to serve for 10 years so I'm stuck in foster care till I'm 18 or adopted.
I throw the pillow over my face and groan.
I hate this! I hate the thought of going to foster care! I don't want to be with strangers!
I roll over and start crying in frustration.
A nurse walks in to check on me and gives me the "good news!" of being discharged.
She sees me crying and tells me everything is going to be ok and that I should be happy that I can finally go home... but I'm not happy.
It was a regular hospital I went to first for my injuries...then it was an institution for my "suicidal actions" I have.
I gulp hard as they gather what I have at the front desk.
Mr. McCarter was the one to sign the release papers while I changed back into my normal clothes.
As soon as I'm done; we walk out of the hospital and again, I go into his car. This time; however, he put child lock on the doors.
I guess you could say it was my first time doing something like that, so I get that his trust in me went out the window.
Again, we drive towards my temporary home.
I let my mind wander to my dreams of late.
I haven't seen Jessie since that night he kissed me.
Maybe he isn't real at all and I'm just so far into wanting love and never receiving.
Who would want me anyways?
Some scrawny girl with too many scars and ptsd from domestic violence and constantly having to be in survival mode.
What if Jessie is real? Would he turn his nose up in disgust from seeing me for the first time?
What if he hates me because of my witch heritage?
I know my mom hated me for that reason...dad never told her he was a warlock till I was born and started doing "crazy shit".
She was a super religious woman and didn't want any of that "demonic stuff" in her home.
Some scars I have...they're from her attempts to kill me.
I subconsciously touch my stomach.
***
Screaming.
My parents were screaming and shouting at each other.
That's all they have been doing lately.
Glass shattered somewhere against a wall and a small wolf growled at me...
Blood...
I look down and it's all over me...
I hear a woman screaming.
***
"Helang! Helang! Snap out of it!" I hear from a distance; I'm being shaken.
I still hear the woman screaming...
A needle pinches into my shoulder and I feel myself going slack.
The woman isn't screaming anymore.
I feel my eyes glaze over...
"It's ok Helang...you're ok. Just breath. She can't hurt you no more. I'll make sure of it." He says soothingly.
I whimper out and start drifting off.
"You're safe now. I promise."
Darkness takes over.
*
*
*
"...this is Helang..."
"...It's a long winding trail..."
"...can't drive to the house?...."
"...too dangerous..."
"...if I trust you or not...."
"....be ok...won't be hurt..."
"...best to walk..."
.
.
.
I stir awake.
I'm being carried. But by whom am I being carried by?
I feel my eyes roll to the back of my head again.
A groan escapes my lips.
"I see you're waking up now. Rise and shine Helang!" I hear someone say to me softly.
That voice sounds familiar.
His voice...
"You sound so familiar." I softly squeak out.
A small chuckle was heard from the male and then my mind registers.
"Oh! Jessie?! I'm back in the dream now...but why haven't you shown up lately? Why now?" I say assaulting him with my questions and trying to get down; he tightens his grip on me refusing to let go.
"What dream? This isn't a dream at all. As a matter of fact, you just woke up from being unconscious for a few hours. I've been carrying you since you was dropped off 20 minutes ago."
Confusion etches my features and I open my mouth and close it again.
"Can I walk please?" I say trying to get out of his arms again.
"No." He says firmly and dismissively.
I huff out.
"Ok. Well, where are we going?" I ask curiosity finally taking over.
"We are going to the house. I brought you some water cause I didn't know if you'd be thirsty. It's in my backpack."
I simply nod and hum in response. I look at him with the sunlight pouring onto his skin and the weird thing is that when he said that his mouth wasn't moving.
Confusion etched my features.
"Jessie?"
He hums in response.
"Did-did you say something to me?" I ask looking at him intensely.
"Yes." He responded with a weird look in my direction.
He kept walking and I chilled in his arms cause getting down wasn't an option in his book.
Besides, this is all a dream anyways; It was most likely just my imagination to begin with.
I took my chances and rolled out of his arms onto some rocks. If it's a dream it won't hurt right?
Wrong!
A stinging sensation ran up my arm and side that hit the ground.
"Ow! Ok so this is definitely not a dream at all! Ow! Ow! Ow!" I exclaim rubbing vigorously at my scraped skin.
"I told you this isn't a dream!" Jessie growls out with his jaw locked in anger clicking his tongue.
"I thought you was joking! Every time I see you I'm usually dreaming!" I yell in my defense.
"I'm real! Did you actually think I was a figment of your imagination?!" He says with amusement dancing in his eyes.
Embarrassment floods my veins and a deep blush paints my cheeks and nose.
"So…you mean that last dream…you really kissed me?" I softly question with even more embarrassment.
"Well, yea. And you really did push me away. By the way, do you need help getting up." He says dismissing my questions and holding his hand out.
Wooooow! Jessie is such a gentle man!
I think with sarcasm while looking at him with an unamused expression.
First he kisses me; I'm obviously not ready cause of all my stupid mommy and daddy issues, then I push him away and he throws me against a tree and I pass out! Like what the hell is wrong with this guy?!
I continue with my internal monologue as I stare at his stupid hand.
He clicks his jaw again and retracts his hand.
"Nothing is wrong with me." He says enunciating each word slowly.
I gulp and can feel my body heat rise in fear.
Nothing but a small squeak escapes my mouth as I start trying to inch myself back without him realizing.
Definitely not my imagination. He hears my thoughts!
"Shit!" He curses under his breath as I get up and run away.
Nope! Not today!
I chant in my head running down the trail to get away.