"Everything ok Helang?"
I hear Steven gently ask me.
I sniffle and aggressively wipe the tears from my face.
I look at him. Actually look at him and drink in his features.
He has ear length midnight blue-black hair, he has olive toned skin, dark playfull brown eyes, his face is round with a chiselled jawline and just the smallest hint of incoming facial hair. He is lean and squishy looking yet skinny and he looks to be maybe a few inches taller than me. I gulp and realize deep down that I want to marry this boy that I barely know.
"Can I trust you?" I quietly ask looking down at my lap.
I hear a deep sigh from him followed closely with:
"You can always trust me, even when you don't trust yourself."
I look up at him and I nod my head.
"I miss my mom." I quietly say.
"Like, I know she hates me! Not a day goes by that she didn't show it. I wanted and still want nothing more than for her to show me love and affection. Just like when I was a child...." I sob out holding onto my arms for some form of comfort and security.
"But she doesn't anymore" I bitterly cry out.
"I hate how she no longer wants me and how she constantly wants to kill me. I'm so tired! I hate being in survival mode and I hate how everyday when I went to school someone would notice the scars and bruises! I had to constantly cover myself with hoodies, makeup, and sunglasses if I could."
I wipe the tears from eyes and look up at him tearfully.
"She's the one who did this to you?" He says his eyes changing to a silver color.
I gasp and slink away from him.
"Your eyes!" I exclaim in fear and awe.
He takes in a deep breath and slowly lets it out allowing himself to relax.
"I apologize. I just got upset but I'm not angered by you; just by your pain and suffering. My eyes, I have no control over them changing color; so please don't be frightened." He states calmy.
"Your eyes change colors?" I ask in awe.
He nods his head and gets up to put his bowl in the sink.
"That's so cool." I say with a small smile.
He stays facing the sink and I notice him gripping the countertop; his knuckles turning white.
"Helang, do you remember me?" He questions out of the blue.
"I don't understand?" I say hesitantly.
"When you first got here...you were running away from Jessie." He says in a way that sounds like a question.
I think back and I remember running away and I remember bumping into someone.
" I remember bumping into a guy and he called me a mate and how the forest was dangerous. I didn't think much of it. I thought he was Australian or sum." I state absentmindedly.
"Was he you?" I question curiously.
He stays silent and it starts to make me nervous.
"Steven..." I start off hesitantly.
"Yes." He simply says.
"Wait? Yes to my question or yes to your name?" I say bewildered.
He turns around and faces me with a playful smile at his lips.
"Yes." He states again eyes lighting up.
"To which one?" I say holding my hands up like an italian.
He laughs wholeheartedly and reaches out towards the top of my head.
I let out a squeak and flinch away just as his fingertips are barely a breath away.
He looks hurt and confused for a flash but recovers.
"I'm sorry!" I blurt our almost too quickly as tears spring forth.
He puts his hands up in surrender and shakes his head.
"No, no. That's my fault. I shouldn't have done that. Don't cry."
I rub my hands at my face feeling so frustrated with myself.
Stop fucking crying!
Uuuugh!
"It's not that! It's just I don't know you and all I've ever known for so long is violence and anger. I don't know how to react anymore to any form of physical contact without flinching or freaking out anymore." I say feeling my throat tightening on me.
My heart starts racing and I start struggling to breath.
"Helang it's ok. It's ok to feel these emotions and it's ok to be scared. Do you need help right now with anything?"
He says soothingly.
"I- I can't breathe!" I gasp out.
His eyes widen but he composes himself quickly.
"Just imitate my breathing." He says softly; I vigorously nod my head.
.
.
.
"I feel dirty. Do you mind if I shower? I know I don't have any of my clothes here....can I borrow something." I ask getting embarrassed looking down.
"Of course! I'll show you the bathroom so you can freshen up. I'll get something for you to change into and I should have a spare toothbrush somewhere." He says all too helpful.
I shoot him a grateful look and I follow him down a hallway where he opened a door halfway down with a decent sized bathroom. I look around in amazement at the marble and wood bathroom interior. There was a separate washing area and a giant bathtub that I longed to soak my depressed self in.
"Would you prefer a bath?" Steven asks me with a hint of laughter.
I turn red and look away instantly mumbling an unintelligible yea.
He walks over to the massive tub and shows me how to work the knobs before excusing himself out.
I cautiously turn the knobs and get the water to a temperature I'm comfortable with and begin to undress myself.
After maybe 5 minutes the tub was already halfway full so I tentatively stepped inside and dipped my toe in.
I shivered in delight at the heat and finished stepping inside; sliding down into the warmth of the water a satisfied sigh.
I allow myself to relax and I close my eyes in a moment of peace.