Ash 1867
Turning on my back, I close my eyes and let the cold wind brush against my scales.
As a northern dragon, I don't feel the cold like others of my race. Unless it's my human body, then the cold is unbearable.
I can soar higher than most, and the high altitudes didn't bother me. Sometimes I wonder if I could fly past the blue sky and reach the stars.
Not even my father can reach me up here. It's my sanctuary from the world.
Swooping past another set of clouds, I ponder the benefits of flying away. Just heading further south and not turning back. There had to be somewhere my father's power couldn't affect me.
Up here, things were simple. My dreams were reality, and everything I wanted to find was within my reach.
I didn't have to pretend to be someone I wasn't.
Here, I wasn't Lord Ashari Atreanous. No, I was general, a mate I was destined to find and be at my side as my equal. Not because our families forced us to be together. We would make each other happy.
Whoever that person was would be mine, and I'd be theirs.
Who were they?
Was my mate born yet? Dragons lived longer than most of the other races, thousands of years. That meant my mate might not be alive yet. Would they be male or female?
There was another uncomfortable subject between my father and me.
It wasn't an issue in our society that someone might like someone from the same gender, but like everything else, my father looked down on the idea.
I enjoyed the company of both females and males. I didn't see a problem with that, and I didn't care if anyone else did.
It was clear I wasn't like my brothers or sisters concerning attraction. My mother noticed it when I turned fifteen and entered the first stages of heat.
A maddening few years of a dragon's life between fifteen and eighteen where every chemistry in your body burns up, and the only thing you can focus on is rutting.
While most dragons were looking at the females, I was busy looking at both sides.
Was my father's issue with it because I found men attractive? Or that I wasn't only interested in other dragons?
If he found out I'd been with several humans over my life, he'd probably disown me.
That wasn't an exaggeration either. My brother Darius found out his mate was a human, and the second my father found out, he ordered him to reject her. That wasn't something Darius was willing to do, so my father disowned him. Now, he pretends Darius is dead.
I don't know where my brother lives now. He sends us letters and always offers Morgan, my baby sister, and me a place to stay if we can get away from here. But he's careful in case my father finds them.
Were humans that way? Was a parent's love dependent on whether their child turned out the way they wanted?
My only frame of reference was my books and Darius's and Elena's letters. Though, they don't talk much about what's going on where they live.
Not all dragons were like my father. Hopefully, the same was true about humans.
'Ashari,' The voice echoes in my head, and I sigh.
How does she always know?
'Ashari, come home, my love,' My mother's voice purrs. 'You've been up there for hours.'
Twisting my body around, I head to the mountains. If it were my father or my siblings, I wouldn't obey the call, but I couldn't disobey her.
My mother wasn't afraid to come and get me.
I learned to fly when I was five years old. Younger than anyone else in my family. So, landing from a great distance was easy for me.
Shaking the ice out of my hair and scales, I'm not shocked to find Halona waiting at the cave entrance. She's always at my mother's side.
The rumors were that Halona's people were a tribe killed off when the Europeans came to the Americas. I don't know if that's true, but she's been here my whole life. She helped raise us and was a second mother to me.
Shifting back to human form, I don't bother changing my hair or eyes. I take the clothes Halona offers with a grin.
"Get dressed quickly. You'll become sick," Halona chides lightly. "Unless you'd like to drink my remedies for a week."
Wincing at the idea, I pull my clothes on and kiss her forehead.
"Thank you, mama," I grin.
"Your head in the mists again, Nanuq?" She raises an eyebrow at me. "Fighting with Nerva as well?"
Halona never called my father by his title when she was away from him. Unafraid of the old dragon.
"Is it that obvious?"
"He's been yelling for you for hours," she sighs, leading me into my mother's cave. "It isn't hard to put the pieces together."
Perfect, that meant no matter what time I chose to return to the valley, he'd be waiting for me.
"Don't let him get to you, my love," She strokes my cheek affectionately. "He doesn't understand you."
"That's easier said than done," I scowl, following her down the first tunnel.
My parents were arranged by Shakka almost six hundred years ago. They've been together that long, but I don't think there's any love there. I know that once Morgan was born, my mother stopped sleeping with my father. She spent more time up here in the mountains.
Their arrangement as mates because of my mother's bloodline. She wasn't a royal, or she'd be dead under Shakka's law, but she was closely related to them. Enough to keep her alive but make her valuable.
Shakka had given her to my father as a gift.
My father didn't care what she did as long as she showed up when visiting officials visited, which she did.
And that was the life my father wanted for me? No, thank you.
How painful was it for their true mates? Even if you never met, your destined mate would feel the moment you claimed another as your partner. I've heard it's a devastating feeling on both sides.
The royal courts encouraged all of us not to seek out our soulmates. To defy the natural call of who we were in exchange for Shakka's law.
It isn't illegal to find your mate, but it's looked down on. We were paying the price for that decision.
The weakness was spreading like an infection. Every child born was half the size, and powers diminished.
What did that mean for me? I felt strong. My magic was potent. If my mother and father had been soulmates, would I be more than what I am?
"Hello, my love," My mother walks up to me in her human form, kissing me before wrapping her arm around mine. "What happened?"
Taking a seat in the seating area, I sigh. What was the point in lying?
"Father says he's found me a position with the courts," I grumble miserably. "And my mate's been chosen for me."
Sharing a look with Halona, my mother reaches up and strokes my hair.
"My polar bear, that isn't a reason to avoid him," She keeps her tone calm and soothing. "Running away doesn't fix our problems."
"How can you sound so calm?" I glare at her. "Are you comfortable with the way your children live? The fact that all of us have to be with someone who isn't ours? Never fulfilling our destiny?"
"Nanuq," Halona scolds me. "Watch your tone."
"It's alright, Halo," My mother raises a hand.
"Dahlia...."
"No, he has every right to feel that way," My mother looks down. "I hate to watch my children suffer. I hate that I can't see your brother and his mate everyday. Or my grandchildren, that I've never held them in my arms."