Chereads / Walking a very thin line (BL) / Chapter 19 - Chapter 19

Chapter 19 - Chapter 19

The nurse left, leaving them alone in the deserted corridor. Ian clenched his fist, unnoticed by Edward.

He walked forward to stand up in front of Edward and crossed his arms. "You really love him, don't you?" He smirked, "You are so in love with your brother's murderer, Edward."

Edward slowly looked up, his eyes lifeless and gaunt. He didn't reply to Ian's provocation, continuing his silence.

Ian bit his lip, his smile getting increasingly fake. "Can't reply? It's because you know you're guilty, right?"

"..." Still, no response.

Left with no option, Ian decided to use the 'special thing' he wanted to save for the last. "This is the reason you avoided me, right? August Castellan. Too busy frolicking with your brother's murderer, huh?'' Ian smirked triumphantly when he saw Edward's knuckles turn white, his head still bowed.

Deciding to strike the iron while it's still hot, he continued, "Don't think I didn't hear about your missed visit this week, Edward. You know, you used to deny your feelings so strongly before, that you wouldn't ever like someone as horrible as heartless as him. But look at you now-" He chuckled, "-Not even trying to deny anymore. Accepting your twisted and sick attraction like this."

Edward finally couldn't hold it in and slapped Ian hard before clutching his collar. "YOU! SHUT UP! Just…shut up!"

The ring on Edward's hand grazed Ian's cheeks, drawing blood. Normally, a small cut like this stops bleeding after one or two drops but blood just keeps seeping from his, not stopping. Although the blood wasn't that much, it was still strange to see a simple cut bleed so much.

Ian paid his injury no mind and smiled victoriously as he continued to hit him in his weak points, continuously reminding of the things he'd rather forget, "What? Getting angry now? You remember what you said in the beginning, that it was all revenge?" He freed himself and sneered, "What happened to that revenge, Edward? What happened to the Edward who'll do anything for his brother? How did you go from wanting to tear August apart to wanting to protect and love him?"

"Answer me! or..." He smirked, "Do you not know how to respond? Do you not know how to face your brother, lying there on his deathbed when you're in love the person who made him like that?"

"Look at Ethan! Someone who used to be so full of life, so cheery, is reduced to a person whose life can be finished by a 'technical error'. Don't you at least feel sorry for him?" Ian pushed him and screamed, "-DON'T YOU FEEL SORRY FOR FALLING IN LOVE WITH HIM? JUST...JUST HOW CAN YOU BE SO OKAY WITH IT ALL?"

"...Stop," This time, his voice wasn't aggressive at all. There was a certain pleading tone in it, begging him to stop, to say no more.

Ian noticed a tear roll out of his eye. Seeing his emotional state, he decided to switch his approach and caressed his cheek, "Edward. Listen to me. Me, you, we all care about Ethan. You just wandered along the wrong way," He patted him on the shoulder, comforting him as he masked himself as an angel while doing the work of the devil, "You can go back. Everything can go back to its right place. Look at Ethan, I know you're just as grieved for him as I am. I know you haven't forgotten your brother. I know...you're still the same brother Ethan loved and cherished so much."

"Remember your original purpose. Why did you approach August? Go back to that. Think of all the time you've spent wide awake at night, crying by Ethan's bedside. Think of all the times you woke up in cold sweat screaming his name, begging him not to go. You can't...You can't forget how anxious and restless you were, waiting in a hospital corridor, worried out of your mind."

Ian took another step forward, hugging Edward. He didn't resist, letting himself get hugged by the shorter boy. Even though Edward didn't think Ian was trustworthy or someone 'good', he was still the one who was with him all this time. The only one who helped him, the only one who told him about his brother. The only one...who still stayed.

He might not be the best, but in the end, he was all Edward ever had. Ian was the only one who came forward after that incident, the only one volunteering to help his brother get justice. He still remembered how lost and helpless he felt, standing in a corridor like this. He knew nothing, nothing about his brother. He was such an irresponsible sibling that he didn't even notice when his brother fell to this point and was driven to do such a thing. He first failed Ethan when he didn't notice all that, and now he has failed him again, by falling for August.

Ian softly patted his head, continuing in a soothing voice, "What you're feeling for August, it isn't love. Edward, you've got it wrong this time. It isn't love at all," Edward couldn't see his expression, but never in his wildest dream would he have imagined that the boy who spoke grieved words right now was smiling blissfully, like the thing he'd been trying to do for a long time is about to be completed. "It's just the thrill of the forbidden, human nature. Ask yourself, Edward, can you ever love someone who deserves to burn in the depths of hell? Who can do so many awful things to an innocent person?"

"Everything can turn out alright, like it's supposed to be. Leave him. Turn away, walk away, never go back. Some things are better off left unfinished, you know?" Ian withdrew his hands and straightened, looking in Edward's eyes. "Break up with him, Edward. It's the best thing you can do for Ethan...and yourself. Trust me just this once, okay?"

"But-"

"But what, Edward? Where do you think you can go with this? You two are bound to break, and you know that. It's just, the sooner you do this, the lesser damage you'll suffer. Do you really think you can continue to be with August and watch Ethan lie here lifeless at the same time? Think why you didn't come this month. Because you couldn't bear to face him, right? It's only going to get harder in the future, and you know that very well. Have you even thought about what would happen when, god forbid, Ethan finally can't hold on anymore and passes away? Do you think that guilt will ever let you live happily with August? It'll continue to weigh down on you your whole life, never really getting better. A parasite...should be removed before it sucks the host completely dry, Edward. And that parasite for you is August Castellan, sucking you dry."

Ian concluded with a slight smile, "I won't say anything else. You're smart, I trust you'll make the right decision," He didn't loiter around anymore, taking his leave with a silent nod. Edward just continued to stare down, indescribable emotions visible in his eyes. What he was going to do will surely hurt him more than he can ever imagine, but maybe, it's for the best. After all, he always knew this was going to happen. It's not like Edward wasn't aware of all the things Ian said, rather, he was pretending not to see them, fruitlessly clinging on to that tilted and fake reality that everything was alright. He shamelessly spent days ignoring the upcoming inevitable, naively thinking closing his eyes to all this will make it go away.

After being forced to confront all that he was so desperately trying to run away from, everything became clear to Edward. What he's going to do, how it'll all end...It's all clear now. Sure, it's not what he wants, but it's what needs to be done right now. He always tried to comfort himself by the thought that maybe they too have a happy ending, that they weren't going to end like this. He used to think if it was a story, it'll surely not end like this.

But he needs to face reality. The reality that screams that there isn't any ending but this one for them. This isn't a fairytale where the prince always defeats the dragon and rescues the princess. Real life...doesn't come with a predestined 'happily-ever-after'.

Even if what he's going to do may cut him from within, every word he'd say digging deeper in his skin, he'll still do it. He'll say every hurtful thing to August as he suffers just as much. He'll not just peacefully break up and will be a horrible person, whom August hates. That's the only thing he can do for him. Make him hate the person named 'Edward' so much that he'll move on with life, thinking of them as something unfortunate. He'll do it all so August gets someone to blame apart from himself. Rather than a beautiful memory that hurts him every time it crosses his mind, he'll be a nasty wound he despises, something he could move on from eventually.

Edward will be the bad guy, so August doesn't have to.