Chereads / Walking a very thin line (BL) / Chapter 15 - Chapter 15

Chapter 15 - Chapter 15

"E-Edward..." August said weakly, "You…You're hurting me."

Edward just held his wrist more tightly and shouted, "ARE YOU CRAZY?!"

Tears rolled down his cheeks as August miserably tried to explain, "It-It's not...not what you think. Please, stop. Stop, I beg you…"

Edward became even more enraged and screamed, "YOU'RE TELLING ME TO STOP? ME!?" He snatched the sharp scissors from August's hand and sneered, "I'm the wrong one here, huh?"

August sniffled and became even more restless. Waving his hands around frantically, he denied, "No, no. You're not wrong, but please let me explain, okay?"

Edward slammed his hand on the bathroom sink. Crossing his hands, he scoffed, "-Explain? Okay, senior. Please 'explain' why you were here with your hair chopped and cuts on your hands."

August didn't have an answer to that. He could only look down shamefully and cry silently as Edward confronted him. At his lack of answer, Edward sneered, "Well? I'm still waiting, senior. Where's the explanation?"

"I-I was…'' August struggled, unable to find words to explain.

Edward mockingly completed his sentence, "-Just trying to kill myself for no apparent reason? I think that's a pretty good answer."

"-That's not it!" August screamed, his voice hoarse from crying for so long. His state got even worse as he screamed, "THAT'S NOT IT!"

He completely broke down, crying freely. "You guys don't understand! No one understands...hic..." His legs shook as he cried, all his following words swallowed in sniffles and cries.

Edward saw him weep like that and felt a twinge of regret due to his harsh words earlier. "Senior…"

"I-I wasn't trying to..." August shuddered before continuing weakly, "-Kill myself..."

His hold on the marble tightened as his knuckles turned white. Knees shaking badly, his thin body threatened to fall any second, barely holding on.

"I wasn't..." August let himself get hugged by Edward as he supported him. Caressing his head, Edward tried to console him, "I'm sorry, senior. Please forgive me."

August took no notice, just repeating the words he said earlier, "-I wasn't…Please, I wasn't trying to do that…Really…"

Edward didn't know why but felt his heart being constricted on seeing August like this. Every word, every cry and every tear were like knives in his heart, piercing him from inside out. He knew right now, he should be gleeful on seeing his brother's criminal like this but all he felt was indescribable sorrow and pain.

He rubbed circles on his back to calm him down and hugged him tighter. "It's okay...I know you weren't trying to do that...It's okay."

August calmed down after a while as his hitched and quick breaths slowed down and returned normal.

With a low voice, he asked hopefully, "Y-You…You believe me?"

Edward nodded reassuringly, "Yes."

"Then...Y-You won't hate me, right? You won't leave because I'm crazy, right?"

Edward felt his mouth go dry when he heard August. Each word he spoke was making his desire for revenge weaker. Why was he feeling pain for someone he should scorn? He wanted to destroy August, but how would he destroy someone who's already broken to that limit? How would he break something which has been shattered to a million pieces already?

At that moment, all he wanted to do was to hug this person in front of him, comfort him and love him for real.

"I'll never hate you," Edward made him put his head on his shoulder as they both sat on the cold bathroom floor. Silence fell, only the sound of running faucet remaining in the otherwise quiet atmosphere.

Edward glanced at the weak boy in his arms, his mind a mess. Is he really doing the right thing? Can a person so vulnerable and pure ever do something so horrible to someone? Can a person who already suffered so much and driven to the point of suicide multiple times bear to do the same to anyone else?

"Edward..." August straightened, looking at him with his red eyes.

Edward nodded and smiled, encouraging him to continue.

"...You won't ever leave me, right?"

"..."

He wanted to say a million words, but all that came out was silence. His mouth remained closed as he sat here, unable to give an answer. He wanted to say yes and comfort him, but he knew that was a lie. He knew that they were two people not meant to be together, doomed for failure from the start.

August interpreted his silence as denial and laughed emptily, "Hah...I guess I was asking for a little too much, right? Don't mind me," He chuckled, his laugh scaring Edward even more than his cries. "After all, asking you to be chained to me is too much."

"No…" Edward weakly denied, already knowing his words won't do any good.

August didn't let him continue and said, "I mean, we humans really are strange. We speak of forever so easily, even when knowing no person or thing is eternal. Humans die, feelings fade. A person who proposed to be with you forever might be dead or in love with someone else tomorrow. Edward, I know we can't be together forever," August smiled, "Although I don't know why or how, I feel like we...We were meant to fall apart from the start. Like a future for us didn't exist since the beginning. But you know what? I'm okay with that. I'll bear unimaginable pain later if I can have even a moment more with you."

August caressed Edward's cheeks softly. "Let me rephrase my question," His eyes were calm, not matching his inner turmoil at all. Voice calm and composed, he asked, "Would you…not leave me as long as you can help it? As long as you don't find anyone better? As long as...you still love me?"

" …Yes. I-" Edward's voice cracked for a moment. Dilemma evident in his eyes, he forced out, "I'll stay as long as I can."

August's eyes curved into crescents as he gazed lovingly at Edward. "That's enough for me. Thank you."

With his free hand, he clutched Edward's face and kissed him on the lips. Edward was shocked for a second, but soon kissed back. The kiss wasn't passionate, rather, it was more soft and light, more considerate and caring. It was like a first crush, beautiful and ill fated, something which can be so happy yet so sad at the same time. August knew what he was doing now will haunt him for the rest of his life, but he couldn't care less.

After all, the most affectionate moments make the cruelest memories.