"Mbak, let's dine out." Invite Bintang on a quiet Saturday night.
I am silent. Remember the monthly expenses that still haven't been paid. "It's better to settle the water, electricity, and the school first before we eat out"
"Hadehh... what a troublesome, just want to eat out," Bintang murmured.
"I couldn't swallow the food when they are still hanging."
"Pay now or tomorrow, it's the same. If we can pay tomorrow, why should we do it now?"
"Are you sure tomorrow you'll have the money ready? Or ready for another stress?" So tired of arguing about these stupid things. Small children know it, everyone understands it, no need to say it except for this one.
"If there will be a fine, let it be, just fine," he answered lightly. "Come on, hurry up tonight. How hard to please you."
"It's easy to please me, I told you how..."
"Wanna join or not?" Bintang utters a shout.
There is no point in arguing with Bintang, it will never work. Bintang will go by himself or take a friend with him. Bintang doesn't care if there is any food or not at home. He will eat alone.
Bintang never gave money even for daily needs. The reason is that the income is uncertain. Whereas I never pushed him to contribute a certain amount, It's OK if unable monthly, then weekly, if not weekly, then daily, anytime, but the point is that Bintang doesn't want to give. He will find many excuses to spend the money on the family.
Since there is no steady income, I must rack my brain to fulfill household needs, and strive for all means to maintain the harmony of the household.
And since I didn't have a fixed income, Bintang has become more arbitrary.
"OK then. Let's eat out. But it's out of gas. Please buy it first. Earlier, the shop owner said the employees had gone home, so there was no one to deliver."
Bintang groaned but also went to the kitchen. He carried a gas cylinder in his hand and put it in a car to be exchanged for a filled one. The car drove to the near shop. I immediately sent a message "Bright milk is out, cooking oil too. Margarine, Sausage. Laundry detergent. Floor cleaner. All 6 items huh."
Then I called Bintang. "Read WA," I said briefly and shut off without waiting for the answer.
Soon Bintang came with gas and all my orders. I smiled triumphantly.
It turns out that the theory I've read is true, that you shouldn't use feelings to talk to a man or husband. But give clear instructions, like a master telling his dog to pick up a bone he throws. Because only by providing clear instructions can everything run smoothly. If you use your feeling then it will lead to miscommunicating.
And so that night eat out together.
***
And what I was afraid to happen, happened. Today is the last day for Bright's tuition fee that three months in arrears.
"One and a half," I said.
"That much?"
"It's three months."
"Why all always at the same time," said Bintang, frowning. "Water, electricity, internet..."
Always the same song.
"I'll pay it later," he said.
"Today the latest, otherwise Bright can't take the exam."
"Yeah, I'll stop by the school later," Bintang said getting into the car while starting the car.
"Wait!!!" I gave the school tuition card "This is is to exchange for the exam card."
"You give it," said Bintang said at last.
"What a troublesome," I continued. "Transfer!" asked me again.
Behind the steering wheel, Bintang transfers some money via his mobile banking. I waited beside the car.
"Done," said Bintang then.
"Which account?" I asked.
"Directly to the school." The answer is innocent
.Whatttt?????
I am furious. The blood seems to rise to the crown ready to explode. I don't know what's going on in this man's head. It felt like every step he took always ignited angry emotions. "Then you asked me to go to school just to hand over this card?" I snapped furiously. "This is it!" I threw the yellow card on the dashboard, "Just give it up yourself!"
I rushed into the house and came out again with a piece of paper. The car was about to leave then stopped again.
"Take this too." I gave the paper. Pledge letter.
It feels like Bintang has gone back and forth to the pawnshop office several times to make up for it; he doesn't know. He could never deny that his wife's tone was this loud.
"Last night, the gold shop called, if the ring is not redeemed today, the shop will be melted down the rings. Do not forget. Today." My orders.
It was the precious ring my mother gave me, which I will always keep in my possession, and it is the ring that has always saved me.
Our wedding rings are finished in the first year. Lost or sold or mortgaged, Forgotten. The ring from my mom was utterly defended. When I had no money, I pawned the ring and asked Bintang to pay it back when it was due. And Bintang likes to be a hero in this case.
That's one way to get money out of the husband's pocket. When Bintang came home with the ring. I will return to the same place to pawn it for household use.
Deep in my heart, I was sad about this situation, used to make money by myself, never imagined a hard, bitter, and painful to have no money. But I ignore my feelings. I don't want to be whiny about anything.
***
"Mas... see my cellphone?"
"Sold"
"Pardon? Whose HP did you sell, then what's for?"
"Bright's tuition fee."
GUBRAK!!!
***