His rapt pair of eyes were not leaving my face. It became hard for me to speak because it seemed like anything other than truth would make him more angry.
"I am sorry but I am not comfortable with sharing my private life, sir."
I said and didn't wait for him to reply. "Excuse me!"
I walked back to my desk and watched the computer screen without any purpose. From the corners of my eyes I could tell that he was still staring at me . My fingers danced on the keyboard making me appear busy. I had never been so conscious and thoughtful of my appearance more than that moment. All I could think about was whether or not my hair was in place or if my lips didn't look dry.
It was hard to keep my eyes away when I could feel his piercing stare on me. He went back to his table and sat there aimlessly for an hour or so and for that entire while I pondered more about his behavior. It was the first time, he was paying so much attention to me, and I wasn't exactly hating it. But I was also unaware of the reason behind his curiosity in me. As the time came to be 11:50 P.M, almost everyone had left and the place was about to get closed. Tables went empty and everyone started taking off.
"It's the time we close, sir." A cleaning staff member told him.
"It's fine, I am just waiting for someone."
He was not going to budge. I started getting a little scared by then. I packed up my stuff and prepared to leave; Turning off the lights on my side and shutting the computer down, I grabbed my bag and put the ring securely in it, taking it off my finger while he was watching.
I avoided his gaze as I walked out of the restaurant passing through his view. It was already midnight but still there was enough lighting and crowd in that area, and I didn't have any problem travelling alone. As I had left the place, I witnessed Parv leaving soon after. His car went scampering past me. I finally took a deep breath when I saw him slowly disappearing in the distance.
I walked further ahead, giving up any hope of finding a bus at that hour. I kept a tight grip on the strap of my bag, probably inviting the burglars to come snatch my it for me. But when I finally reached the end of the road, I found Parv's car parked there, and him with a lit cigarette between his two fingers. It was the first time when I shivered fearing my safety.
I hesitantly moved toward him. "It looks like you are trying to block my way." I said.
He smirked, "come on, a train can pass from this road, that's how much space there is."
"Shall I leave?"
"You may. But I have questions that you will have to answer first."
"Have to?" I said out aloud, "not a polite way to request."
He crooked his eyebrows and took a last puff out of the cigarette, covering his face with the white smoke blown by him. He tossed the cigarette butt near a garbage pile beside the road. He approached me closer, slipping his hands inside his pockets.
"It's not a request. You owe me an explanation, being your ex-fiance."
Two distinct long pieces of threads finally got tied up. I got that he was misunderstanding me for Nisa, which is due to me having this ring with me and that girl was probably no one else but his runaway bride-to-be. I stood frozen there, I knew their story, that they had never met before, but It was outrageous that he was confusing me with her.
"I believe there's a misunderstanding here. I am not what you are thinking."
"It's alright, I am not here to meddle in your personal life. You didn't want to marry me, your choice. You ran away from your home... not my concern. But don't you think, I deserved to have a proper conversation with you at least. You could have consulted me before taking such a step. This is outright humiliating me." His voice wavered, as if he was trying hard not to end up crying.
"I am not your fiancé." I could only repeat this sentence again and again.
"You can stop lying. I am not the kind of person who would give your parents your whereabouts. I am just a human being who is getting unwanted sympathy from my family and this entire country, because of your grand rejection"
"You are yelling at the wrong person, I must repeat sir."
"Would you stop it?" He shouted, till I was taken aback.
He had fury harbored in his eyes. He pierced right through me with his gaze and I stood there sticking my lips together, afraid to let out one more word.
"You should have been more clever when you took our family heirloom with you. If you didn't want to marry me, then at least return that ring to me, it's not just a jewelry, but a meaningful gift from my mother. You won't understand that, though."
Diary Of Parv
28th January, 2022
Wednesday,
I found her. Not that I was out looking for her and her arrival was rather unasked for and totally random. She is the worst human being I have ever encountered in my whole life. I am glad that I didn't have to marry someone like her. It turned out her rejection was a blessing in disguise for me.
I remember seeing her a month ago as well. I wish I knew at that time, and hadn't acted pathetic in front of her. I can imagine how amusing it would have been for her to see me talking about her drunk.
It was already a tiring day after all that nagging from Ridhi. I also regret when I asked her out on a date. But that was also a way to cope with the 'grief' of my run-away bride. God I hate her.
I met Ridhi in America. We were in the same college. I had known that she was having feelings for me, but I never led her anywhere. I was always busy thinking about Nisa, for our marriage was arranged when we were around ten. I am most hurt knowing that I was the only one who had genuinely thought of her as my bride all my life, even when I had never seen her.
But now I am fine because I finally got my closure. She turned out to be the ugliest girl. Her face has freckles and she is tall like giraffe, when she smiles, spreading her lips, she looks like a hideous monster. All the things that I had previously heard about her beauty were probably nothing but exaggerations, no white lies.
This morning, Ridhi called me to remind me that it was her birthday. I felt bad for having forgotten about it and to make up for it, I knew it was the basic courtesy that I take her out on a dinner. But who knew what I would end up seeing there.
The moment I stepped inside that restaurant, I saw her face. I remembered seeing her in the bar last month, but didn't know that we shared much more than just a coincidental encounter. But her indifference to it was telling me that she didn't remember me.
As she was checking our reservation in her computer screen. I looked at her, thinking that she might give it in her look but her attention didn't divert from her computer screen. I was upset that she didn't recall me from the other night. But now I know that she was pretending all along. She had a lot of fun enjoying my down spirits.
Now, I wish I hadn't argued with Ridhi in the restaurant. I must have treated her well, for her to see that I couldn't care less about her existence. But damn, this stupid Ridhi had to nag me there for forgetting about her birthday. She had her calm when we started talking, but soon she got worked up and began shouting, when I asked her one question that was rocking my mind.
"Isn't she the same waitress girl from our club night last month." I was just trying to satiate my curiosity but she took it in a wrong way.
"We know each other for more than ten years now. But your memory doesn't have a place for my birthday and you would rather remember a mere waitress you saw a month ago. Brilliant," she didn't stop from that moment and kept showering on me her complains.
I was quiet maintaining my calm. But she kept on blabbering something that I don't remember now. People there were staring at us, leaving their food untouched on table, and the ugly receptionist also had a savory moment seeing it.
When Ridhi left the place in a fierce motion, she bumped into a waitress, injuring her ankle. I was so embarrassed and guilty that I didn't even bother looking at her, asking her condition was far. I just sat there rubbing my forehead and the ugly receptionist came rushing and helped her getting up; and sending her to get medical help.
She also asked me if I needed anything else, only now I know that she having too much fun looking at me like that. I shook my head and chased her away. But suddenly I noticed a point blinking beneath my table. It took me a moment to realize that it was a ring. I reached for it and knew that it was the same ring that my family presented to her as a wedding gift. The ring once belonged to my mother, making it more precious to me than anything else.
I was surprised to find it there. I was told that Nisa had taken some jewelery with her when she eloped and the ring was one of the missing items. I wondered what it was doing there. But then my eyes fell at the ugly girl, searching for something on the ground. I went to her and asked, if she was looking for it.
An unusual smile came, releasing her from the tension, "Thank you, where did you find it."
She snatched it from my hands even before I could pass it to her. That was the first time I took a clear look on her face and realized how unattractive she was. I was immediately disappointed for having had feelings for her.
"Who gave it to you?" I asked.
"My fiance" she answered.
So you do admit it. I thought. But then she opened her mouth and said that she didn't want me to ask her any private question and she just left passing from my side. I was burning with anger and controlling myself for not creating a scene there.
I got back on my seat for thinking myself out of this rage. I waited and waited for her to get off work, because I had to have a private talk with her. I waited for an hour or so, until the staff and cleaners were trying to chase me away. But I didn't budge before she packed up and left.
I didn't want to follow her, so I went ahead and parked my car in the way outside the area. I hadn't touched the cigaerete and lighter set that I carried in my car, for a long time now. But today I couldn't control myself and went for a smoke in a while. While smoking in the open, I was coming up with powerful and harsh remarks to make. But when she finally walked up to me, coming out of the street. I forgot the speech that I had thought of.
I nagged and nagged, which I don't even remember now. I was so overwhelmed with emotions that I said everything that came to me first. But it was not what I had in mind. I was not supposed to look pathetic but I was definitely making a fool of myself. While she was calm as spring water, only denying her being Nisa.
In the end, I ended up saying something that I shouldn't have. After saying it, I want to kill myself.
"I was stupid for believing that one day we might end up together. I had my life creepily all planned out with you, ever since I was ten. That's how much you mattered. You are normal for not being with me. I am the psychopath for loving someone I didn't even see. For dreaming about someone whom I had never met."
When I said it, her eyes were glued in mine. She must have seen tears in them, for she stared at it so long that I almost confused it with affection again. She started walking toward me closer and closer. I was intimidated with every step that she took in my direction. I was afraid that I might lose my control and anger if she continued to look at me like that.
With a powerful and unwavering stare, her eyes were inviting me to go and forget myself. Her calm face and curious eyes were compelling me to head toward her, shortening the distance further.
She took the ring out of her fingers and grabbed my hand, placing the ring on my palm.
"I am sorry." she said, and went past without looking behind even for once.