It has been three days, since the day I identified myself as Nisa to him. I wouldn't blame it on his ignorance. One sentence from me could have ended his misunderstanding. But I was too keen to know what he would do next, that I didn't bother explaining. I gave him the ring and also a face that he could attribute his anger to. He said that he doesn't want to see me anymore, and I could extract from his words that he will be trying to move on. But, I just can't seem to believe that he ever can.
He is so much in love with this girl that I am sure that he will be coming after me soon. I am getting ahead of myself, waiting for him. He knows where I work, both the restaurant and the bar, but it has been three days and he hasn't tried anything yet. I am very disappointed that he has given up so soon.
Everything looked like a play of destiny. It was hard believing that such a twisted incident could happen in my boring life. I had only seen it in movies before, that price charming searches for his Cinderella with her sandals. I thought what would have happened if the sandal had fitted the in the feet of some other woman. Would it have changed the path of destiny?
I was at work, when I was lost in this pondering. I found myself unable to take my eyes off the front entrance. I couldn't understand my obsession with him, for I certainly didn't love him. I also didn't want to admit that I was just entranced by his money and looks, which was rather normal to do. I wanted to talk about it with Nargis but I couldn't muster up the courage to face her anymore. To be honest, I had lost every ounce of respect for her, no matter how hard I tried to convince myself that she is just vulnerable, her image had already deteriorated in my eyes. I was good at judging others, but reflecting upon my own actions was not my thing.
But I had an excuse to see her that day: I brought the book to return her. Therefore, during the afternoon when the crowd was scanty, I went inside the kitchen with the book pressed against my chest. I saw her eating out of a instant noodles cup all alone in the kitchen. As she saw me entering, she dropped her plastic fork in the cup and chewed swiftly to empty her mouth for words.
"Welcome!" she said. "How may I help you?"
I put on a smile and casually walked up to her. I placed the book on the counter near her and climbed beside it.
"Just wanted to return it."
She looked disappointed looking at the book and picked up her fork again. "Was that all?"
"Yeah! Pretty much." I said, awkwardly.
"So! What do you have to say about it? Good?"
I expressed bitterly, "It's fine. Just not the kind of book that made sense to me, like it did to you."
She laughed to the point that she almost spit the noodles out of her mouth. "How come?"
I found it to be ridiculing and crooked my eyesbrows. "It goes as I say, not the kind of book that I can relate to."
She covered her mouth with her hand, while swallowing hard, but her eyes still squinted with suppressed laughter. She put her cup on the counter, beside me and cleared her throat with a light noise.
"You must be thinking that we are different, right?"
"We are different," I said.
"I can see what makes you think that. But let me prove you wrong my darling. What may be different is that you are betting yourself for the attention of a younger heart, when I went for an older one with a stent. You are shaking your assets for a man who is single, and I bend for a married one. And what also may be different is that you are lying for your motives, when I didn't. But over all, the situation says that we are equally… disgusting women."
I was furious to my knowledge but I couldn't express my anger in words. I kept thinking of something to say that would counter her argument but I didn't find any. I was also amazed that she was aware of what happened outside of the restaurant.
"You are forgetting that I almost live here. And that window opens up on the road you had a little encounter that night. I saw it."
I was at loss of words that I could depart with, against her assertions. I sought to just sit there quiet.
"I didn't want to say it. But I request that you don't judge me for no matter how low I am on my morals for having an affair with a married man twice of my age. I can't stand an attack on my character by anyone. You have returned the book, sit here only if you have other things to talk about."
I jumped off the counter at once. I felt a wound on my conscience, hearing those things from her. I came outside and took the reception desk back. I sighed and reflected on myself and surprisingly I was no more looking forward to his arrival anymore. I rather wished that he never appears and let me deal with my obsession on my own