I bought the tickets when we arrived. We were absolutely scared out of our wits, playing a very serious game, but I was not a coward and would see to it that we played it out to the end, regardless. The movie started and the moment the lights went out, I pulled her closer and she willingly came while my heart sang. My lips touched hers ever so softly and she somehow complained slightly. We took the seats close to the front so not to be disturbed. Just the way we wanted it. She took my hand and this was how we sat; just being with each other without hormones, family or friends. Just the two of us.
I dozed off, peacefully snoring with someone laughing at me. Asking, 'how could you fall asleep while this movie is playing?'
I didn't like chick flicks, but kissed her hand and again must have been doing something right because she said that we should just run away and have more of this.
'Well, our life cannot always be about the niceness. We just can'tt keep doing this,' and it was as though I could feel her sadness again as I said it.
It was really late and we took a cab back. The second we got in, we were at it again. The poor driver said nothing but we clearly felt the disgust. However, what could we do? Fact was, we didn't know him. I kept my hands still and got out with her just to see her home safely. She said that I should wait outside so she could tell her parents that she was home and that I should meet her around the corner just to talk. She pulled me towards the back of their house and we both climbed through her window. She got me on the bed and I was damn scared I would be killed today!
'Sam, just know my young life is over if we get caught!'
She said her mother was at home alone and her dad had gone to some dart-club. I looked around her room and was very pleased that her room was nicely cleaned and in order, quite the opposite to mine. The smell of her is everywhere. I was in a girl's bedroom, but so nervous I could not believe what was happening.
'You said we need to talk, so here I am. We are not going to do anything for I am still young. You may die, you older!'
She just laughed. I tickled her for more laughter because I loved the sound of it. We talked and before we knew it, it was almost midnight. Wow, I was going to be in trouble.
'Jordi, what are we going to do? I really wish we could just be together but know I will lose a friend and your family and mine will just not be happy for us.'
'I will move on to a life far better without you! Just kidding! I could never move on from you. Seriously Sam, do you think we will be able to survive this? Because I seem to not want a day to pass lately without seeing you, it must mean something? I don't want to keep you from anything Sam, so you can decide what we should do. I must say it is nice hiding things, but I know we will not be able to hide things for long.'
I went through the window again, but a few seconds later knocked on it with a rose I stole from her mother's garden.
'This rose I nearly sacrificed my life to get, because your mother almost caught me. I do need a reward I think!'
She kissed me, taking her time. Just when I was consumed by it, she stopped with a smile, 'Happy now?'
I turned, tripped over my own feet and clumsily jumped over their wall, running all the way to the base, feeling very happy. I got home and felt for my wallet only to find it gone, but the text I got gladdened the already overflowing heart of mine. She told me that she missed me already and that I must sleep well, thinking of her. This girl had really put a spell on me, but who was complaining?
I walked into my dad who was not too happy. He asked where I had come from and thought he could smell a woman on me.
'Look Dad, what are you talking about? I can't help when the girls feel like hugging me all the time.' He laughed and said that at least I had his charm.
'Hopefully it will not get me in trouble.' I told him without thinking, and he backhand slapped me for the first time. I almost went for him but decided to rather challenge him with the truth instead.
'Is it your guilt making you hit me? My mother suffered because of you, and now doesn't even live with us!'
I wilfully knocked against him as I passed. Not even he could change the way I felt. My dad tried to call me back, demanding an apology but I just walked on. I slept in my clothing just to keep my 'woman's smell' and woke up the next day when my dad suspiciously came into the room to say I had a phone call.
I really wished I could run away from everyone and everything.
'Hello?'
Just like that, she asked if she could see me. She had something of mine that she was totally questioned and interrogated about and needed me to make up for it. She said that she was coming to see Abby and I told her that my sister wasn't here, but that she could still use that as an excuse.
We became the greatest manipulators, by being on a role. My friends texted, inviting me to the beach and I declined making them question me too. I made my best watery curry for Sunday lunch to be shared with my girl. I can't believe how nervous I still felt. My hands were so bloody clammy and I hoped she wouldn't notice. She kissed me fast on the mouth; still weary of my sister and father even though I'd told her they were not at home.
'What happened to your face, Jordi?'
I told her I had backchatted my father after he told me that I was like him.
'He smelled your perfume on me, so please less hugging, because I might not be able to defend us any longer if people keep smelling me!'
'Oh, just shut up! My mother is fetching me in two hours. I want to look at your face. I would like to slap him myself.'
I laughed, she stared, and told me I didn't laugh enough. 'It's really nice to hear it.'
'I will remember it next time, because I do have so much more reason to laugh now, Sam.'
I took her to my room and she made me sit on my bed. Softly she kissed my face better.
'I could get punched every day if it is going to feel like this afterwards.'
'Shut-up, please! Lock your door and turn around until I say you can look again.'
I did as I was told, and when I opened my eyes, she was in my bed and the only thing I could think of is having sex which made me freeze on the spot.
'Look Jordi are you going to stand there all day or come over here. I promise we will not do anything you don't want to, or that I am not ready for.
I walked to her, took my shirt off and climbed in, experiencing the biggest feeling of my life that I would store away forever in a place where there is only space for her. I pulled her into my arms and nothing could describe that feeling. My chest muscles twitched making her nipples stand up, but I swore to myself I would not look. I was sure she would have showed me if she wanted me to look. I kissed her face and stopped at her mouth before I felt like devouring her ears and neck. I asked if I could keep on caressing her and she allowed me. I knew what I was supposed to do without anyone telling me, compliments of my new best friend, the internet. She took my hand and boldly placed it where she fell apart again, crying. I couldn't imagine how by touching this girl, made me so excited, but it did. I am sure, in comparison, it would be less exciting touching a guy's body.
I was ashamed at how my body was responding to her, and this made me angry at myself - but taking it out on her, was out of the question. It felt as if she was controlling the body that I had already lost control of in trying to understand myself. To be controlled was a totally frustrating feeling for me; I was not comfortable with it at all. I got up and told her to rather wait for me in our dining-room just in case my family came back. What we did, was all over my face, but I was also thinking of Sam in case she was embarrassed as well.