I did not hear from Sam again, not even a text or anything and the silence started getting to me. I hung out more with the guys; even had some late nights when they hooked me up. I took the opportunity but failed miserably again. I guess because the girls seemed disgusted afterwards with my lack of interest. Which could not be helped.
My heart belonged to someone else and being drunk, my heart bled even more. I made my way home before the truth escaped from my mouth. My heart and mind belonged to Sam. When I got home, everyone was in shock. I had already gotten a few smacks, because I told my dad and sister to fuck off a few times, they didn't know what was going on. They were all so busy with their own selfish worlds.
I got into trouble for not sticking to school rules. I had not shaved for weeks and looked dreary with continual hangovers. Even the coach took me off the team for a week to sort my shit out. Why didn't people just leave me the fuck alone?
Making mistakes was why our generation were here. We live by trial and error. We did not wish to live in the past - we were movers; so, we were bound to make mistakes. I knew Sam wasn't seeing anyone else, because I knew for a fact she was just as touched by this as I was, but also so bloody stubborn. Why not take us both out of this misery and decide what she already wanted? I was given a blade and soap, asked to clean myself. I then enquired whether my schoolwork was lacking. When they replied with a 'no', I told them to keep their toiletries because I had my own. I was given detention for a whole week which I utilised to do my homework, but I had decided not to shave until I had answers. The coach gave up on me weeks ago and when there was an athletics tournament in Atlantis, the school arranged a few busses for students to support us and of course the Matric class got preference, so my sister and friends ended up in my bus. I wondered why Sam came along because I could have done without her that day. Just maybe I meant something to her still so I would get her where it hurt most. I knew I looked much older with my beard; it was pretty full so I should just behave the way I looked and piss some seniors off.
It was very hot so I took my sweater off and sat down topless. I knew what this would do to someone, and I loved the feeling of being in control. The coach just looked at me because we all knew that the athletes needed to be in uniform when entering the stadium, which I would adhere to, but they knew by now that I wasn't very good at abiding by the school rules.
Well, at least I was entertaining the girls. Whenever I flexed, the girls breathed in loudly and commented suggestively. I even let them touch my chest knowing what it did to them. The senior girls were out of their seats for me and there were very unhappy comments made by my sister and one other person, but who cares? If none of them would have made a comment, my sweater would have been back on, but these girls were the makers of the famous egotistical male, sometimes without even knowing it. I loved the attention; it turned out just great. There were no complaints from my side, but maybe some from the senior males and a few girls that told me how conceited I was.
'Jordi, you can put your sweater back on now. Don't you think you have made your point?' This came from the quiet Sam with Abby echoing her sentiments.
'And what is the point, beautiful Sammy?'
Her look killed any other sarcasm I wanted to throw her way. This girl could even get to me with her silent looks, not to speak of the silence she was punishing both of us with. My sister got even worse, saying I was a jerk, and that I should put my clothes on. I just laughed. I really did not understand her problem. I wiped my body with my towel ever so slowly with just the right smirk to both old farts while still entertaining the other girls who moaned when I put my shirt back on.
'You are going to start a war very soon young man! Look how they're competing for your attention,' the coach said, shaking his head. And he got a loud tongue click from a very irritated Sam when he pointed at her.
'Except for that one.'
If only he knew that I had been competing for the attention of the very girl he spoke about. The coach asked the driver to turn the music up and sat down reading. One of the girls in Sam's class decided to put on a show, by doing a very suggestive dance which ended in her giving me a lap dance and an open mouth kiss that went on for way too long, making mini me stand up from her entertainment, the bloody shorts were not hiding anything.
Disgusted, Sam got up when she heard my best friend teasing that the girl had given me a boner. Abby followed her, not completely understanding the reason. Happily, I was made fun of with my 'mission accomplished', but I was very annoyed when super lap dancer pushed her way next to me on the two-seater, making Adam jump up to sit somewhere else. The shy me took over and this forceful girl tried for my attention but bored me the whole hour to the stadium. How someone with so much beauty could have so little sense, was just beyond me.
'Hey Jordi, we should totally go out, what do you say?'
'No, thank you I am not into the dating thing, Tara.'
I calmed down considerably and she tried to take advantage of the moment, rubbing herself against me. All I could do, was shyly ask her to back off but this was to no avail.
It was hot and I didn't know how we would perform. I was in so many fixtures I couldn't even breathe. My first 100m and 200m went well and making it to the finals was a breeze, but the 1500m was no joke at all. With all the water I'd been drinking, I needed to go to the toilet. At least it was smooth running at the male toilets, I genuinely felt sorry for the girls sometimes. Their queues were just endless. I was suddenly pulled to a corner by the very girl who despised me at the moment.
'Why are you acting like a conceited jerk, Jordi? It really is not like you at all.'
'Why do you have a problem with it? When you do it, then it's certainly never a problem, is it Sam?'
I could see the tears in her eyes and how it must have hurt, but I was hurting too. I just wanted to get over the girl. She was too deep inside me. How could I compare her to what I was doing? The whole problem with us was that I gave her the right to decide even though I knew it was killing me to do so.
'Sam, have you decided what we are going to do about us, or must I just read through the lines that it is over?'
It hurt me to ask if it was over, but she was so bloody stubborn and told me to go and fuck myself.
'That is exactly what I have been doing,' I replied sarcastically, and she ran off crying.
I knocked my knuckles open against the wall, but I did not feel the pain until I came back from the toilet. Something caught my eye and it was a boy from Sam's class with an arm around her trying to console her. I stormed towards them and was ready to beat the crap out of someone.
Sam recovered from her emotions very quickly when she saw my intention but stopped me in my tracks when she saw my hand in an expression of shock.
'You are bleeding, Jordi! What happened to you?'
Just like that I forgot about the guy next to her. Drowning in her eyes, with her concern for me, she pulled me to a tap; the blood was streaming from the open skin. Her touch was unbearable and having her so close to me where the world could see us, was the best feeling I have ever experienced.
My heart overflowed with feelings for Sam. She took her sweater and pressed it against my skin, not worrying that the blood stained it badly. She looked up at me asking what happened again but stopped in mid-sentence when she looked into my eyes. I couldn't help myself when the overflow in my heart turned into words.