I told them everything that I had told Sam. That I would need an operation and more tests done, also that I was going to delay everything as long as possible, even though the doctors wanted this operation done ASAP. The women began crying and I had to stop them.
'Really, I am not dead yet, guys. Please be strong for me! By the way, this girl here is my girlfriend. Mom, I hope you are okay with it. I wanted to ask dad earlier, but he does not want to hear anything. So now, you all know, and yes she is Abby's friend so relax and give us a break. She is the one who will be most affected because she will be the one stuck with a boyfriend that could die or be a vegetable should I decide on the ops, or the treatment. About the engagement, dad, don't worry, we will inform you about it too.'
Looking at my family around me, only my grandparents from my mother's side seemed okay about Sam and I. The others were just being accommodating. Abby came and hugged us both which made my heart melt. Just like I was the troublemaker in the Peters' home, so Sam was the cause in the October family, they made her feel it clearly. Thoughts of Sam almost overpowered my mind and now. I was so tempted to run away with her. My mother called us away to my room and dad was not happy. I almost felt like sticking my tongue out at him but knew it would be very childish.
'Look, the two of you need to look after each other. Are you ready for this testing period, Sam?'
'Yes.'
'Then my girl, you have my blessing.'
She walked away giving us the needed space.
'This is my room, Sam, so come here.'
I said this with confidence, but still we sat like two children too afraid to be caught again, until I put my head on her lap. She rubbed my head and I pulled her head down and tenderly kissed her, with my hands in her hair, starting to make up for the time that I may not be this lucky to have with her; to just hold her. This time she was crying, and I stopped. I sat up and pulled her head to my chest so she could feel my heartbeat.
'Sam, while you can still hear my heart - it beats for you. I promise, you will find your peace here, okay?'
She calmed down and moments later, looking deep into my eyes, said 'I love you, Jordi, remember that okay?'
With that she changed the subject and said she wasn't looking forward to school because I was going to lose my rugged, sexy look and she would become the cougar. I had to laugh.
'Yes, but your face got all the abuse, so you are better off with a clean faced boyfriend. Hey, you never said anything about the Matric Ball?' 'Well, I wasn't going to go so my classmate Frank told me that he would go with me because he doesn't have a partner. Don't worry, Jordi, Matric Balls are just a novelty.'
'Well, I would just about allow you anything, even feeling a bit jealous! Maybe, it is better this way, so that you please your parents and can enjoy your evening too. I got some tablets to keep this fainting at bay - so I will start tonight. I may still be a bit sick tomorrow, just in case you wanted to hang out.'
I was sick, but Sam took it well and before we knew it, Monday was there. I walked her to school and classes began. Tara made it her job to annoy Sam and Abby; getting it right most of the time while keeping her cool. Both girls got detention, leaving me to the cleaning and cooking. I tried using my illness as an excuse, but Abby would have none of it and said I could complain the day I couldn't do it anymore.
Tara made Sam's days at school a living hell and knew just how to manipulate the situation. She grabbed me during break times and kissed me for all to see. I couldn't be rude, but it created so much trouble. She was openly provoking Sam who took it out on me for almost a week. Days from the Matric Ball, the girls were so excited, but Sam was still not talking to me. Everything seemed to take its toll. My running times were curbed as well as my feelings. I had never felt so desolate.
A day before the event, I got a call from my girlfriend saying she had a brilliant idea and I should keep myself ready the next day, no matter what the time.
'No Sam, rather leave your plans, because I will not fall like a fool for you anymore.'
'What do you mean, Jordi? Is it because I didn't talk to you for a few days?'
'Yes, Sam, I thought it was over with us, because of the shit with Tara.'
'Do you mean the shit that you could not find in your heart to come and explain, Jordi? Why is that? I deserved at least that my boyfriend would apologise, even though I knew it was not him.'
'You knew it wasn't me, but you still gave me the cold shoulder?'
'I had to! It was not the first time she kissed you. Look Jordi, I came to you first because I want to see you tomorrow, but I get it if you are going to be stubborn, so goodnight then.'
She ended the call and that hit me like a brick against my chest. I could never ruin the night before her big day, so I called her back. She did not answer, so I sent her a text saying that I was sorry and that I would be waiting for her if it would make her happy. She replied saying it needed to make me happy too, and I should live a little. I called and said I would see her tomorrow and that I loved her.
I woke up in the middle of the night with a massive headache, took the pain killers and they knocked me out. Late the next afternoon, I had to take more pain killers. I even phoned my mom to come over and help me, because the headache was blinding me! Very scary. By the evening I felt much better and she stayed to see my sister off. Abby looked like a princess.
I found myself wondering what Sam looked like, because I only knew the colour of her dress. She liked blue, so I would just have to wait and see if she would post profile updates.
'Mom, I'm okay, you may go now. I'm sure dad wants you already gone, anyway.'
I looked at her and asked where it went wrong between them. She told me that she had to marry my dad because she fell pregnant.
'Now being almost forty, makes it feel like such a waste of time, Jordi. Your dad was always there for the good times; never grew up, and I was the housewife who cleaned up after him. I grew up much quicker than he did. We had good times as well, but it was all in the past and such a long time ago. I hope that life will work out better for you children. You seem to be on top of things and by the look of it, very in love, and that's what matters, Jordi.'
'Mom, you make everything seem so possible. I know already that there will never be someone else for me but Sam, Mom, and even our princess has her head screwed on correctly, so don't worry about us.'
'How can you ask that of me, Jordi? I will always worry about the two of you and now you, especially! Why not consider coming to stay with your grandparents and me. You could have the garden flat. Think about it, will you? Pops suggested it so that I can look after my baby and not worry so much.'
She hugged me and left with tears in her eyes which made me give it a lot of thought because even though she never spoke about the cancer, I knew it affected her deeply. I was sure that in no time she was going to force me to decide about it anyway.