I swallowed before I thought a bit further. In order to be Luna I need to be marked; we need to mate first. It seems to come back to it every time.
''Pax; it's still your choice when that happens, it can wait.'' He tried to tell me but I wasn't so sure it could wait if it meant It is also what makes me Luna.
It will only be used against us if we do not connect in the way we should. As Daven already has done. It's so much more then just the mark, or just to become Luna. This was a special moment between him and I.
I'm starting to think I'm ready for it all. Nothing stopping us and I trust Julien; trust how things will be after too.
''I want to.'' I finally spoke after some thought and silence on my end. This not just a simple act between us either; but I am ready.
''Just tell me when.'' He stated simply, still allowing it to be my choice. Still a lot of pressure to choose a proper time; a proper place. Maybe his place would be better but I didn't think we both would be going there; not planned anytime soon anyway.
Maybe we could rent a room on prom night; make it the most stereotypical it could possibly be. Stereotypical to a viewer but always romantic to those experiencing it; or at least it would be with Julien. Not just some average prom date. Nothing about him average at all.
''Get some rest; you don't have to worry about anything, I'm here to stay.'' He told me, speaking as I had remained silence, thinking further on nothing about him being average. Another part that scared me and had me second guessing it all.
I smiled smally before I moved a bit closer to the phone and pulled the blanket over my bare legs. ''Good.'' Those words nice to hear and I closed my eyes once again.
''I love you Pax.'' He stated, relaxing me even more so with his simple words, the real meaning in how he says it. So soft and only for me. I could also hear the tired in his voice though.
''I love you too.'' I told him, having my own way to say it to him; ready to let us both get some rest. I'll see him tomorrow; a bit after school.
Able to solve most of my problems then. My prom dress will be complete, I'll be able to see Julien and reach out to Adeline for her to find us. Just bringing us back to the one main problem; Daven.
My last thoughts before I fell asleep was of Julien; of his face and his voice; the last words he had said to me. Putting my thoughts at rest so my mind was free from any stress that may cause a vision; or one simply not ready yet.
Seeming to only happen when needed by me or to warn me. Not liking the ones with warnings though. Much more fond when I could control them; despite that not being often at all. Not like seeing Daven coming was enough to protect me against him.
I woke up with a small breath, looking to my phone to see if Julien was still on the call or if he had begun the drive already. My alarm going off told me he had hung up at some time and I clicked the alarm off to stop the noise with a sigh as I unplugged my phone and rolled over to check for any messages.
The call had lasted over eight hours, him ending it earlier then I had to wake up. Starting his drive early; to get back here quicker. I smiled and opened our messages; reading the one he left me after ending the call. Not wanting to wake me to do so.
He let me know he had begun his drive and once everyone was settled after getting to the pack house he would head straight here. I texted him back to let me know when he got here; no matter the time.
I clicked my phone screen off and made myself get up from bed; placing my phone onto my dresser within my closet before pulling out some clothes to change into after I took my pj's off. Stripping them off in the closet and leaving them there to take care of later.
Once I pulled my hair from my sweater, I fixed it a bit and slid my phone into my back pocket. The heels I choose to practice, having the ability to walk in them but I needed to dance and be able to wear them for a bit; my feet needed to get used to them.
I went to the bathroom quickly to brush my hair a bit and brush my teeth; doing a quick look over in the mirror. Still feeling my new found confidence; thanks to Julien.
I do love this pair but I really never wear them. Now I was getting a great chance to, maybe be able to be close to Julien; taller. I slipped them on before grabbing my bag and slinging it over my shoulder to head downstairs and out.
Sure Dean is waiting by his truck; once again ready to drive. I still double checked I had my keys within my bag though as I made my way into the kitchen, not hearing anyone I glanced around. My mom's car was still in the driveway so she had not left for work yet.
I looked behind me, sensing her nearby now; in the craft room. I should tell her I have a solution for helping her find us.
I made my way from the kitchen and through the living room to head inside, pushing the door open to reveal her seated at the desk. She was plucking some recently tried flowers to refill some of our jars; our supplies.
''Hey, mom?'' I got her attention, getting her to turn and set the flower down.
''Hey sweetheart; you gonna head out to school?'' She asked, seeing me dressed and ready. I took a few steps in and nodded; going to head out as soon as I told her of Katy's further help. Something so simple too, maybe it wasn't even hard to do.
''I just wanted to let you know I have a solution for Adeline, I'll take care of it after school; and Julien will help so you don't have to worry about that.'' I told her, adding the last part to let her know; not to worry if she wasn't home right away.
Not a complicated spell either; at least I hoped.
She nodded as she offered me a smile. ''You would have been excellent at leading a whole coven.'' She told me, proud of her realization after me filling her in. I suppose I could see that, it easy as of now though; only us.
She sighed however before moving to stand. ''Although I suppose you will still be a leader. And good at that too.'' She pointed once she realized what else she wanted to say. ''You look lovely by the way.'' She commented before pulling me into a hug.
I hugged her back, feeling how much she's missed me from just simply being busy with work. ''And that's Dean.'' I spoke, sensing him first this time just before he knocked on the front door.
We both pulled back with a smile, ''I'll see you after school.'' I told her before I made my way to the door; ready for the school day, and it to be over already to see Julien. I really just wanted to spend every moment with him around, maybe I could talk him into joining dinner again; and spending the night again.
I smiled to myself just before I opened the door; I could probably convince him of just about anything If I really wanted to. Knowing how easily he could with me.
Once I composed myself I opened it; Dean had made his way back into his truck to wait, only noticing me walking toward him once I got just about to the truck door.
''Hey.'' He sat up after glancing at me and rested one hand on the steering wheel. ''My mom wanted me to tell you that the dress is complete.'' He filled me in, upon her request and I nodded once I sat in the truck and closed the door.
''Have you seen it?'' I asked him as I put my bag onto my lap then glanced at him as he started the drive; pulling out of where he sat parked in front of my house.
He almost grumbled, dissatisfied with her whole process already again. He hated how she never gave in on letting him see her designs until the show. ''No I have not seen it.'' Dean answered trying to not sound annoyed but there was one way for him to see a design early.
''You should have asked her to design your suit.'' A formal line already, not to mention she did it for me; she would of course do the same for Dean.
''Her colors don't match Charlotte's dress; which I have not seen either, is this how stressful it feels for you?'' He asked, glancing at me with a breath; gripping the wheel tighter too. I assumed he meant parties in general since everything was planned out.
With his mood I kept to myself that he could have still asked her; just with different colors, I mean she is a literal designer. She has so many fabrics in so many different colors.
''Not this time.'' I only took a second for my answer; knowing. Julien is what makes it different. Him going to be there with me- for me. But I suppose this night held a lot of pressure for the guys too.
I hope Julien didn't feel too much pressure over prom night; I had no real expectations, just to spend it with him. Which is probably how Charlotte feels with Dean too. The night doesn't have to be perfect it just needs to be spent together.
Which I know Dean will figure out; hopefully with Julien and I knowing that we are made for each other will take the pressure off as It has for me.
I glanced at him once again though; seeing him still gripping the wheel so tight his knuckles were turning white. I couldn't help but giggle; never seeing him this nervous before. ''It's going to be okay; it's one night and a couple hours.'' He glanced me before scoffing.
''That's not fair and you know it; there is no question with Julien.'' He told me, explaining his scoff and how there is unknowns for him when it comes to Charlotte.
I turned in my seat to face him. ''There's still question until he marks me.'' I explained now, remembering his words last night but still remembering him mentioning the rejection process. That one of the scariest words I could think of when came to Julien.
Among a few others I would rather not think about at the moment; or really ever if I could help it.
He glanced at me, knowing that I've told him already; nothing is guaranteed until the mark. I did however keep out the part about us mating being apart of it.
''Why haven't you done it already? I mean the bite can't be that bad right; they do it all the time?'' Dean asked, finally wondering about the reason; the real reason any way. Plus not to mention his whole how bad can it be; they may do it all the time but they are also werewolf's who can heal instantly and who knew how they felt pain.
Julien seemed to act as though he felt no pain from Nick's bite but that could have been to just brush it off.
''I'm going to,'' I avoided the main part of his question; not telling him why. ''I was thinking maybe after prom, I told him I want to.'' I explained and turned back forward in my seat as we pulled into the school parking lot.
In Dean's panic over everything prom he had driven a bit slower then usual and it seemed nearly everyone had already headed inside. I clicked my seatbelt loose before taking it off and putting my bag back over my shoulder.
''Is that when your seeing him next; not until prom?'' He asked, half focusing on parking before he turned the truck off and turned to face me in his seat now as he put his backpack over one of his shoulders.
I nodded and turned to as I readjusted my bag. ''No he's on his way back to the pack house then here.'' I explained and pulled my phone out to both look at the time and a reply from Julien; if he had sent one.
He did reply but we are late and as I pressed to open his text I also reached to open the truck door. He replied that he would gladly text me as soon as he arrived. I smiled to myself as I clicked my phone off and walked around the truck to listen to Dean who had begun to speak after he followed me to get out of the truck too.
''So then what's stopping you from doing it then?'' He asked, still referring to the mark as we walked toward the front doors. Not too far from where he had parked.
I faulted my step just a bit; making it sound easy but I quickly rematched his pace. ''Well it is kind of special; not just something to do.'' I told him once he opened the door for me; the bell just going off as he did so and looked back at me.
It's to mark our bond; let everyone know about it too. Then Luna came next and that ceremony.
''Why do I feel like there's more to this whole mark thing then you are letting on?'' Dean asked as he caught up with me; skipping my locker and heading straight to our first class.
''That's because there is.'' I told him quickly; right as we entered the classroom and forced him to have to wait. Not ready to tell him about it anyways. I could just tell him part of the truth and tell him the ceremony is linked. Although I was most ready for that part.
We took our seats and Dean was very clearly frustrated; knowing he has to wait to find out but also very much wanted to get the missing details at this very moment. Not in public nor in the middle of a full classroom.
The day didn't drag on as much as I thought it would with Julien going to be here sometime today. It helped to know that as I sat distracted in class he was heading home and then to me; just waiting on his text or phone call.
Even without Dean having the whole picture, maybe he is right; maybe I should have him mark me when he gets here- or when we get back to my house. But I still have to meet with Cordelia for the finishing touches on my dress.
As each class ended and another started I knew Julien was getting closer and closer to being here already. Once lunch hit though Dean was dragging me aside to get the rest of the information before we could head into the cafeteria.
''Okay, tell me.'' Was all he said; knowing I would remember what he was referring to. I hoped however that he would have forgotten, or let it slide; maybe even put it together himself so I would not have to tell him.
I sighed and rolled my eyes, seeing him not going to easily give this one up; I have to tell him.
''Fine.'' I said before he smiled, glad to see me give in so easy. I glanced around to make sure now one was nearby to hear anything before I whispered. ''We literally...mate; after.'' I told him, relieved to finally have it out but I looked at his reaction and saw the shock on his face.
Suddenly rethinking his attempts to push me into the mark. ''Oh-oh. So not when you see him next then; yeah, you should definitely wait.'' He struggled to get his words out but his message was clear. ''You should wait until after prom too Pax, this is serious.'' Dean explained it to me like next he would give me the talk. I had also told him how important it actually is.
Just as I know I will wait but not much longer. I just needed to find the right time; get the courage to tell him I'm ready and be ready too. How on earth am I supposed to know I'm ready when it will terrify me until I do it? I just needed to pick a time and tell him.
I followed Dean to the lunch line just as my phone began to buzz and halted before moving aside to pull my phone out and see Julien calling, just as I was going to answer it someone took my phone from my hands. I looked up to see Rachel and closed my eyes for a moment.
If Demons are real too; then I am looking right at one. She smiled as she looked at my phone; seeing his name. Then she looked up at me again and showed me my phone.
''I hear you want to go to prom; is this your date? This Julien.'' She spoke his name before she glanced at the phone quickly to answer it before she moved it beside her, still holding it. Wanting Julien to hear what she has to say.
''Give it back Rachel.'' I ignored her other words, not up to her what I do or whether or not I do go to prom. For that matter, especially who I go with. Dean had finally noticed I was no longer with him and I noticed the crowd beginning to form around us.
''You're even trying to look pretty for him.'' Her words got a fake softness to them as she reached forward to attempt to touch my hair; which I kept down today. My outfit drew to much attention however; and from unwanted people.
''Rachel come on; cut it out.'' Dean came beside me, sounding tired of her already; just as I am. She only glanced at him for a moment; Dean not weird enough to be on her radar and she choose to ignore him.
Rachel swiped some of her dark black hair back with her long nails, careful not to mess them up though. Nothing about her could be messed up or she would loose her mind.
''I think if you want your phone, you are going to have to take it back.'' She told me, smiling and explaining it to me like I am a child. She then extended the phone out a bit for me to reach for. I rolled my eyes though; not falling for her games and she scoffed but Dean moved quickly and yanked my phone back from her hands.
I crossed my arms before she lunged forward at me, angry at Dean for taking the phone but taking it out on me by grabbing my hair. ''Ow!'' I yelped at her sudden attack but she loosened her grip slightly when she leaned even closer to whisper.
''If you come to prom and ruin it; I will show to-everyone what you really are.'' She then shoved me back and although I felt Dean try to grab me I landed straight back; onto the floor.
My balance still not as good in heels and I couldn't catch myself. ''Are you okay?'' Dean asked, offering me his other hand once he crouched beside me. I watched as Rachel began to walk away; most of the crowd following after her and I took a breath to focus on someone who was nearby, with their tray of food.
She freaks out when something messes up how she looks. Dean however moved into my view and obstructed my view. ''She isn't worth exposing you.'' He got my attention and handed me the phone after I sighed but accepted his help up.
I huffed out another breath when I felt my real emotions surface; my sadness and pain. Both from her words and her force against me. What did I do to her? Dean grabbed ahold of my shoulders to help led me out of the cafeteria and outside the building. I could see Julien was still on the call but I felt embarrassed and I did not know what to say to him.
Once again I could not defend myself; even against humans. How on earth am I ever going to make a good Luna?
I allowed Dean to take my phone back and actually answer it but I turned with another shaky breath as I reached up to wipe the stray tear that had begun to fall down my cheek.
''He'll be here in a few minutes; just skip the rest of the day.'' Dean returned back beside me and handed my phone back once again. The call ended once they talked about whatever I had intentionally blocked out. I nodded as I put it back into my back pocket.
''Thank you Dean.'' He was always saving me or helping me when anything like that happened and I would never not be thankfully for his help. I need my bestfriend too.
He nodded but waved, like he could wave the gratitude away.
''Go wait by my truck, okay; I'll text you after school.'' I nodded again, knowing he had to return inside for what remained for lunch and then the remainder of the school day.
I slowly made my way there, feeling everything ruined once again. I am not allowed to go to prom; my dress has no reason to be worn nor did the practice heels I wore in preparation. I would just have to tell Cordelia that her dress would have to be refitted for her model. I do not know what Rachel actually knows but I also can not risk it if she does know anything.
One wrong word put out there and the hunters will head straight here; not leaving until they find there witch. I leaned against Deans truck and glanced around at the parking lot empty of anyone else; aside from all the various vehicles.
I sensed Julien before I saw him, feeling his haste and worry and It only made me feel worse. I am of course glad he cares but it just goes to show he doesn't even think I can handle humans. All I would have done anyways was made a drink spill onto her. No real form of defense in any of it.
I sighed and turned toward the forest line, knowing he most likely ran here if he wasn't already here when he called and would need to change back into his clothes. Giving me a bit more time to compose myself.
The worry he felt for me was beginning to be his main emotion around me. I did not like that at all. Equals is unachievable if he only ever worries about me.
''Pax, are you all right?'' Julien came into view and hurried over to me before picking me up into a hug and then quickly placed me back down to look me over. Seeing no injuries before he looked me over once more; seeing my outfit now that his worry began to melt away.
''I'm okay.'' I smiled smally, him already helping me to feel a bit better and he rested his hands on my waist. ''Can we go back to my house?'' I asked and glanced back at the building before looking back up at him. Knowing he would know why I do not want to stick around any longer.
He nodded and gave me a smile before he leaned to kiss my forehead. ''Of course.'' He said simply, willing to do anything for me; even after seeing how weak I truly am.
The walk home gave me all the practice I would need to be able to both walk and dance in heels; plenty time to think on how Rachel has no right to tell me if I can go to prom or not. There was no way for her to expose me unless I used my power and Dean is right, she is not worth it.
Julien is worth it though; worth experiencing it over and with.
He had offered to carry my bag home once we finished our walk there he took my keys out for me after I told him where they were within it and handed me to them. During our walk I had asked him about the trip; having him fill me in on what more happened and about Katy's spell to reach out to me. Just about wondering but reversed; as I had thought but it can be tricky to not just wonder to her. That state not so easy to just stop once It Is started.
However I had one thing In the back of my mind the whole time; even as he followed me into the craft room. The mark and If after today he still wants to mark me; making me second guess myself every time I thought I should bring it up.
''Okay so; I need your hands.'' I told him once I took a seat at the small couch, on the other side of the table he stood at; watching me as I took my bag off to set aside.
A smirk grew on his face at my choice of words before he nodded and moved to sit beside me. ''You can have them whenever you want; for whatever you want.'' He offered them to me though; knowing what I really meant this time.
I suppose that's one answer for if he still wants to mark me or not. Willing to give me his hands for anything I wanted. I instantly felt my face heat up before I looked at his hands; out for me but now I was thinking about what his hands could do rather then what I had wanted them for.
Not that I didn't want them for what he really meant. ''Pax, I was joking; kind of.'' He told me, seeing the look on my face and turned his smirk into his absolutely perfect smile for me. I shook my head, pushing the thoughts he had put into my head to reach for his hands; grabbing them.
His thumb stroked over my hands once before he looked up at me, knowing my focus had to come next. I had to reach out to her like I was going to wonder to her but instead only reach out to her. Since she has magic like me she will be able to feel it happen.
I closed my eyes with another breath before I attempting, not sure what I should feel if it works when I have never done it this way before.
However I opened my eyes when I felt her and turned toward the sound of knocking on the front door, then Julien and I looked at each other. ''That's her.'' He told me although he did not have to. My search for her made it clear.
.....To Be Continued In The Next Chapter.....