There is a suffocating silence that takes a hold of my heart, squeezing every beating breath from my lungs. As each syllable leaves the lips of Lucas, I feel my world grow smaller and smaller until there is nothing but panic that has taken a hold of my heart.
I know that it is only but mere seconds and every inch of rational self-control that I have will be gone. My demons are yet to be set loose and all my secrets discovered. So with the utmost calm, I count down and before any other reason can take over my senses, I press my lips against Lucas as to not allow a single word to escape his throat.
Yet, he pushes me away for an inch of a length, and with my eyes closed down real damn tight, I hear the words come from him again. "Why did you leave me, Lexi?"
His voice is soft and gentle but every word stings as deep as a burning thorn in the delicate parts of a still aching heart.
But, "I don't know what you are talking about, Lucas."
"You left me, I remember, it was dark, it was cold, but when I came home you were not around."
A soft gasp escapes my lips, and as I grind deep into my teeth not to let my words whimper, "You have me confused with someone else."
"No," there is a soft sob and a hitch in his voice, "It is you, it is you Lexi. My Lexi." He pauses for a breath moment as he tries to hold onto his crumbling restraint, then, "You have just so much I almost did not recognize, but you are still my Lexi. I was not sure, but now I am. You have always felt this good."
His left thumb runs along the smooth curve of my throat as his body closes the gap between us. He drops his free hand to my back and catches me around my waist. His hand runs upward along my back until his fingers curl themselves in the hair at the back of my neck
With a slight pull of my hair, he bends my head backward, giving him easy access to my lips. His warm breath lingers just for a second; I feel that I cannot breathe, I cannot move, my entire body stiffening. He kisses me with everything inside him; it is raw, filled with desire, fear, yearning, and a touch of desperation.
My body is drawn, it is begging, it so wants what it cannot have. If I give in to his kiss, into his touch, there is no turning back.
But this is not how it was supposed to have worked. He was not supposed to have found out like this.
"No, you are wrong! I am not who you think I am."
He grabs hold of my waist once again and pulls me deep against the tightness of his body. He elegantly slide his hand slowly down the contours of my body; for only but a second, he let them linger on my waist. Then he wraps them around until they rest on the small of her back; he pulls me deep into my now-building erection. It is growing close to raging. I gasp as our hips rock from side to side, getting lost in the sensations of the feeling that is rushing through our bodies. The sexual tension and the closeness of our bodies are driving my body to a tormented peak.
He takes a lock of my hair and twirls it around his finger, then gently pulls it closer. "It is you, please. Please tell me why you left me"
"Lucas, I don't know what you are talking about."
With that I slide away from the heat of his body, leaving me to ache him for just a moment longer. And as I rise from the bed in search of my clothes, it does not take him a second and he is behind me.
"Stop fighting me, Lexi."
"Lucas…"
He digs his fingers in my thighs and lifts me on top of the dressing behind me. As he comes to stand between my legs, he takes his thumb to my bottom lip and gently runs it from one corner to the other. Then he moves them between the seams of my lips and slightly begins to part them.
"I missed you for so many nights. I knew I should have never left you alone."
"Lucas, I am not..."
The heat between our bodies is unmistakable. I try to whisper by my trembling lips only but cause my words to whimper. I see my name forming around his lips, but he, too, is drowning in the power I have over his body.
"Lucas…"
He does not let me finish; he moves his lips inch by inch, even closer to mine. He looks down to my lips and backs up to meet my eyes. He closes his eyes and moves forward, closing the space between us.
He tangles his hands in my hair and pulls me closer to him. He touches me only with his lips, and then, without hesitation, he kisses me.
At first, his lips are gentle, exquisitely careful, as if he feared he was bruising me. The sweet taste of his lips melts onto mine as his mouth settles more firmly, insisting and begging for more. Unable to resist, my lips part to allow him passage, the tip of his tongue slides past my teeth in silken strokes of exploration.
He strokes the slick insides of my cheeks. He has never kissed me like this before; it is as if he was feeding on me, feeding on my rising passion and that hidden carnal desire. Is way dizzily from his kiss and clutch my arms around his hard neck.
If only he would hold me tighter and lock his full length against me, but he still touches me only with his one hand and consumes my mouth with patient hunger. He is holding the force of his passion so securely in check.
My hands flutter to the sides of his face, stroking the bristle of his cheeks and jaw. He makes a quiet moan in his throat. Suddenly he takes hold of my shoulders and eases me away from his body. My gaze locks with his in a moment of searing wonder. He looks at me as if he could eat me with his gaze as if he wanted to possess every inch of my body and every flicker of my soul.
"Baby doll, can I…?"
I do not answer; I want to touch him, I want to feel his skin against mine, I feel a dark burning desire deep inside me that only he could satisfy. I want him. He pulls me back in. The urgency and the passion seemed to have grown. My body trembles and melts; he is kissing me with devastating thoroughness. My hands work their way around his body, feeling each crevasse, each line along with his perfect physique.
On and on, he kisses me, turning his mouth this way and that, his tongue dancing and intertwining. He continues exploring my mouth; he fills me so perfectly. I groan softly as he takes the kiss deeper; it slowly turns more passionate.
I gasp as he leaves my mouth to kiss the corners of my lips, then my cheek, my temple; he drops his head to kiss the tender side of my neck. It is a sweet seduction that sends a rush throughout my body.
"My, god, baby doll, can you remember this?"
Within a split second, I'm there again; it is like I never left. All the lust, all the craving, the desire to feel his hot flesh boils over me again. I close my eyes, and everything around me has faded, everything but him.
"Lucas, you…
"Ssshhh, not now baby doll."
I gasp when his mouth finds my breasts, his parted lips follow their curves, his tongue surrounds my nipples, he sucks them hard until they are wet, stiff, and sensitive, I feel my thighs clench together, the aching between them growing wet. I slide my fingers through his hair, needing something to hold on to as he whisks my nipple with his tongue over and over again.
Working his way along my body, he circles my navel with his wet tongue before continuing down, finding the part of my body that aches for him. When his breath touches my thigh, a tremor of desire shakes through me. With a few capable strokes, a fire of pleasure is taking me to a whole new height of pleasure. He is exploring me with his lips and tongue, a forbidden pleasure, a wild intimate kiss.
He lifts from the dressing table, and I wrap my legs around his waist. We hold on to each other as if the world would burst apart if one of us let go. His hands gently move over my hips, pulling me in even closer; it is not a sexual touch but a comforting feeling. His fingers run along the edge of my hairline as he tucks a rogue lock of hair behind my ears. I look up at him into his brown eyes and feel a burst of tenderness in my chest.
He leans closer, his firm mouth brushing against my lips; with a whispered moan, I part my lips, he kisses me, an open-mouthed invitation that he takes. His kisses are desperate, obsessive, like he consumes me, to take all that I am for himself, to make me his.
His fingers dig into my thighs as he pulls me in closer, dragging me deep into his groin. My hips respond to his clenching fingers, grinding my body against him, wanting more. He groans with every movement, with every shift, his manhood growing with each second.
Then he thrusts deep into me, my body absorbing him inch by inch. He thrusts again, my back involuntarily arches, lost in this glorious moment of ecstasy, my back arched, I am seized by a rush of sensation so intense that I cannot contain my cries of pleasure. He pounds harder into me, over and over again, his strokes hard and powerful.
Our bodies are hot and melting into each other. With the last shreds of self-control, I feel tremors shake throughout my body as I shatter. He pulls me up; he plunges in deeper than ever before; with a whisper of my name, he finds his own release. He buries his face in her neck and pulls me into an embrace; for a moment, I forget there was a world outside the circle of his arms.
Then underneath his whispered breath, I watch as his hazel eyes start flutter open, and then… I have seen this look many many nights before, and as he gently says my name, I know, "Lexi, god, I still love you like you never left."
The final strain of what is real in my life at this very moment, that anger that is now being fuelled by hate, only responds, "Get out!"