I heard something. I could hear a familiar voice. Irritating. It was a voice that scraped against my consciousness like nails on a chalkboard, dredging up memories I had long tried to bury. Abbadon. I couldn't open my eyes for some reason but I could see the darkness surrounding me. It was scary. I wanted to grasp on something, just so that I could feel that there's something other than darkness surrounding me. But there wasn't.
It only got more intense when Abaddon's voice became clearer.
"You're just like me, Selene. You know that."
What was this? How was he doing that? Why was everything pitch black?
A perverse chuckle slithered through the darkness, causing a shiver to crawl up Selene's spine. "Oh, my dear Selene," Abaddon whispered, his voice now inches away from her ear. "You cannot escape the truth that resides within you. Embrace it. It's black. Just like me."
"Wh-why are you doing this? Get me out of here!"
"No. You must listen to your soul. You know your power. Your power which killed your parents." He breathed deeply and it felt like he was breathing on my neck.
What? My eyes brimmed up with tears at the mention of my parents. Everyone had said that I killed my own parents, but I never believed that.
My breaths got heavy when he spoke, "Everyone knew that. Look."
My eyes closed. I didn't want to look.
"Selene, you have to accept your darkness."
"No! Go away!"
His voice faded but I kept my eyes shut, I didn't dare open them, not when I could hear my parent's screaming, yelling at me, calling me names no parents would call their children. Soon, despite my eyes being shut the painful fighting which I always distracted myself played in front of me like a loop, and I couldn't help but watch it. Because I was given no choice. I closed my eyes, it played. I opened my eyes, it was still there.
"No, no, no, no, no." Tears escaped my eyes, my mouth agape, and I screamed. No! I saw something. Something I didn't want to see again. Something that I'd rather die than watch. I screamed until I couldn't.
"Selene," A voice gently caressed my senses, like a gentle breeze on a stormy night. "Selene, only concentrate on my voice."
I tried. But I couldn't with the nasty loop playing on and on.
"No!" My mouth let out a painful scream.
"Selene. You know you can do this." Warmth. His voice was warm. Azriel. Sunshine and Rain and water. "Focus on my voice." I tried. I couldn't- I could when he sang, that's all that I could hear then. Melodious, soothing, deep voice. Singing a song I had heard before.
"And I feel like my castle's crumbling down
And I watch all my bridges burn to the ground
And you don't want to know me, I will just let you down
You don't wanna know me now."
My favourite song.
His voice filled my whole body with light. I felt like a feather, floating in the darkness. I gave into that song, his sound putting me to ease. It was like he was touching me gently, patting me without doing any of those things.
Eyes brimming with tears of relief, I opened my eyes to find Azriel before me, his voice weaving a tapestry of comfort. A whimper left my mouth, causing his eyes bore into my soul, worry etched over his face as he stopped singing.
I found myself on a bed but it wasn't comforting. Azriel's arms looked comforting, and I wanted throw myself into his arms, but I couldn't bring myself to. What if he didn't want to hug me?
"Selene..." I looked over the window to see Jared, concern on his face. "Are you okay?"
I nodded.
"But you're not fine, are you?" Azriel let out, making me glance at him. "You were screaming 'no'."
"Yes, like a thousand times." Jared spoke.
"I-I-" My eyes watered until I blinked them. "It's okay, now. A nightmare."
Jared's eyebrows furrowed, not believing me, still he nodded, "I'll bring you chamomile."
"O-okay, thanks." I gazed over to Azrile who stared at me, silently.
Azriel's arms opened, welcoming me into their embrace. "I don't do this. But you seem shaken up, and you're bad at lying. You can hug me."
I hesitated, but the offer seemed way to appealing to say 'I don't want to', because I wanted to. However, it scared me. What if he threw me away after this?
"Damn it," I heard him curse before he sat me up, and hugged me gently. Like I would break if he didn't hold me properly. My eyes welled up with tears, my mind chanted- don't cry, don't cry, don't cry- when he spoke up, "For someone who lectured me, yesterday, about how I hide from people, you're awfully the same."
As I spoke my voice cracked, "So you're accepting that you hide."
"I never said that." He said, while I rested on his chest, feeling the racing of his heart. "I am saying that you hide."
I didn't say anything, too tired to argue with him.
Jared knocked on the door, and our hug broke apart. And I surprised myself at how disappointed I was when I lost his embrace.
"Here's your tea."
"Yes, so now, spill it out. What happened?"
I bit my lip, looking dow at the cup of tea in my hands as they both stared at me with not so patient look.
"It was Abaddon, wasn't it?" Azriel spoke up after a few long seconds of silence.
I nodded, reluctantly.
"And?"
"Well, he-" I took a deep breath, "he played- in my mind, it was his voice and um, my parent's voice then their pictures of fighting and whatever happened in my family was just going on and I-I didn't want to see it." I said, "and then I heard your voice," I looked at the amber-eyed man, "I heard you singing, it pulled me out of whatever it was."
Jared nodded, "It might me because of that mark on your neck he left."
I looked at him, "How did you know?"
"Well, Az filled me up on the details when you fainted."
"And what about the scream from your room, Jared?" I questioned.
Jared's face turned pale, his voice trembling. "Th-there was...a huge fucking spider in my room. It was unnaturally huge."
My eyes furrowed, my head tilted, "That's why you screamed?"
Jared nodded vigorously, his fear still evident in his eyes. "Yes, Selene. I have a serious phobia of spiders. And this one... it was like something out of a nightmare. I couldn't handle it."
Azriel chimed in with a teasing smirk, "Well, he has his own kind of childish fear."
I let out a small chuckle.
"Hey! No fear is childish." Jared defended himself.
"Okay, whatever."
"Well, I am going to sleep in your room, Az, because there are fucking spiders in mine. And they're huge too. Nightmares."
"Okay." Azriel brushed him off, his gaze setting on mine, making my heart skip a beat, as the brunette man went away.
"Th-Thank you." I spoke up, watching surprise flicker over his face. "For um singing and pulling me out of that nightmare thing."
He smiled, a genuine smile, for me, and my heart fluttered so much that I almost could hear it, but his words came out I couldn't help but feel pang in my heart. "It's my job as your guardian."
I stared at him for a while before nodding hastily. Of course, why would someone care for me unless it's their job. "Right, yes." I gave him a tight-lipped smile.
"How did you know- Wait, did you just sing castles crumbling because it was- I mean was it random?"
He shook his head, shifting his position in bed, so he was sitting entirely facing me. "I know it's your favourite song."
"How?" I furrowed my brows.
"I know everything about you, Selene. Believe it or not." He gave me a lopsided smile.
"I don't believe it." I said, squinting my eyes at him.
"Well, okay, don't." He whispered. "I am staying with you tonight, in case you slip into those Abaddon stuff."
"You don't have to."
Please say I want to.
"I will, because, again I am your guardian."
I sighed in frustration, "Well, I am not a baby."
"I know, and I am not a baby sitter, I am your guardian, fiery."
Oh god, I hated the nickname he gave me.
"You know," I began, my voice laced with a hint of defiance, "this whole 'guardian' thing doesn't give you the right to control every aspect of my life."
Azriel's gaze met mine, his eyes smoldering with a mixture of determination and desire. "I'm not trying to control you, Selene. I just have to protect you."
I scoffed, my frustration mounting. "Protect me? It feels more like suffocating me. I don't need someone constantly watching over my every move."