Rewind to where it all began, born in the beautiful green lands of Ireland, but for Ciaran it would be far from beautiful for a long time. From an early age Ciaran became aware of how ugly life would be, though he would not initially realise this, to Ciaran it was normal for him, he was born in to it so why wouldn't it be.
Ciaran looked up to his father, being the first-born son and his witness to the level of respect or fear, whatever it was Ciaran admired his father and wanted to be just like him. Ciaran wasn't aware of his fathers of his father's activities, he would see boxes of guns and grenades pass in and out of his house like a never-ending revolving door, this to Ciaran gave him an impression of power and this caused him to fear nothing.
With his father away working a lot of the time, as soon as he could walk and talk, Ciaran couldn't be controlled and with a lack of fear was a recipe for danger. At the age of five he had started hanging around with teenagers, though he could sit back and ride on his family's reputation, for Ciaran that wasn't enough, he needed to respect, he needed to be feared for who he was, not for who his father was.
In the living room of one of the teenagers, they had been trying to push him to his limits, see how far the lack of fear would take him and they had an idea, one of them asked him if they could set him on fire and he agrees without hesitation so they grabbed a can of deodorant, but for Ciaran that wasn't enough and he turns to another and asks him if he wanted to get another can, for them it was fun and entertainment so with speed he leaves the living room and back in no time.
Ciaran wasn't sure how long they had been spaying the cans on his back, but the lit it his back was engulfed in flames his response was to ask what he was meant to do now, the teenagers in a panic now, not just because of the fact that if I was hurt in the process, they would suffer far worse, Ciaran's whole back was on fire and they were inside a house and they were worried the rest of the house would catch a light. They had started to shout at him telling him to lay down and start rolling around but before Ciaran had the opportunity to the flames started to dissipate and went out quickly.
While Ciaran's father was heavy with his discipline, his absence failed to enforce this and Ciaran would only listen to his father, so while he was away Ciaran and his brother Michael would take the opportunity to do what they wanted to do, this was Ciaran's first criminal action at the age of five.
Ciaran and Michael with friends of their own age noticed a house with its occupant away for some time, so with two shopping trollies the break in, taking two trips to clear the property, taking everything to a nearby field to leave everything, they were not interested in the value of the stuff they were taking. Before leaving with the second load Ciaran and Michael used every bit of toilet roll to block the toilet up and flushing it, the sinks, the bath they had plugged it all up and turn on the taps flooding the place.
Them being who they are, the lack of fear and just all out brazenness, they had dropped the second trolly load to the field and headed back to the scene of the crime, they lived close and when they turned the corner, they caught site of a Garda officer stood outside, they walked up to him and asked him what was going on like the didn't know already, they stood there for at least ten minutes talking to him before heading home.
While Ciaran usually knew the difference between right and wrong, though he usually chose to make the wrong choice and usually for fun, there had been rare occasions where he didn't know what he was doing wrong until it was too late. The first being still at the age of five and this would plant seeds that would inevitably shape his future.
The back garden of Michaels godmother, Ciaran and Michael had been playing a game of find and attack the aim is to attack in surprise, Ciaran had been hiding behind the shed with entrances on either side and while Michael entered on one side Ciaran exited on the opposite side, for them both they needed space to play fight.
Ciaran ran to an open space and prepared for Michael to attack and as Michael came in to view from one end of the garden, Damion, Michaels godmother's son came from the patio door of the house. At first he was asking what we had been playing, Damion was only a couple of years older than Ciaran, at this point Michael had come up to stand beside Ciaran, Damion offered to show them a different game and they had both agreed, Damion had said that Ciaran could go first and then started to explain.
He had told Ciaran to remove his penis from his trousers and with the lack of understanding he did but not without hesitation, while he did Damion had also done the same, now with both of them exposed Damion told him to press them both together, Ciaran still unaware of what was going on did as Damion asked, but as soon as he could feel the touching he knew something wasn't right, he quickly back away and put his penis back in his trousers and covered himself up completely, once he had done this he ran straight inside to find his father.
As Ciaran ran inside calling out "Dad, Dad", his father came to view with urgency and asked him what was wrong, at this point both his mother and Damion's mother had both followed, Ciaran tells them all what had just happened, the rage that came from my father was something Ciaran had never seen, his father had taken both him and Michael home and while he did, his mother stayed at Damion's mothers house, why he didn't know.
It wasn't too long before Ciaran's mother had followed them and when she had got home Ciaran could hear the argument between his mother and father, the pleas from his mother, pleas for his father not to take Damion and make an example of him, the normal way this would be handled in Ciaran's neighbourhood would be to hang the person from a lamppost for all to see that there is a zero tolerance for this behaviour.
Ciaran's mother and Damion's mother were childhood friends and against his father's better judgement his mother had convinced him to bring the Garda involved, she had explained to Damion's mother that there had to be some form of consequence and it was Damion's mother who suggested getting the Garda involved.
The Garda went the whole nine yards, they had spoken to Ciaran, they had even brought him to the local prison and explained that, that would be where Damion was going to be put but it was all a lie, shortly after that Damion and his family, his mother and sister disappeared.
From that day Ciaran decided he would always be the one to protect himself, he vowed he will not let anyone harm him or his siblings, not without a fight, he knew that day he had to become stronger, smarter and scarier, he knew that he didn't have anyone he could truly rely on, but for him that wasn't what he was worried, what did was neither did his brothers and sister, so for Ciaran he had to be that person for them.
From then Ciaran would look for any opportunity to show he was a force not to be reckoned with, so when he overheard his older friends talking about a rival gang attacking one of his friends he told them that he would do something about it himself.
It wasn't hard to find them, not that he had to look really being that as soon as he walked round the corner, out on the field was the group of boys he was looking for, all around the same age of his older friends. Ciaran walks right up to them jumping in the air so that he could punch the tallest one in the mouth and as soon as his feet landed on the floor, he turns and sprints off.
Ciaran wasn't stupid, while he had no fear, he knew it would be silly to stay there, he knew that all he had to do was get home, he knew it didn't matter who was home or that he would need their help, he knew he just had to make them aware of who he was and his family's reputation would protect him.
Just as he reaches his garden gate, while he grabs the latch, he feels the back of his collar being pulled and he was pulled straight to the floor, looking up as the group of boys repeatedly stomp on his chest and kick him in the face, all of them waring roller blades, that's when he heard her voice and while for him it was a voice he had always felt safe hearing, it was then the boys knew they had made a major mistake, not only did they realise who he was by the house he was trying to get in to, the sight of Ciaran's aunt also made them aware of who his uncle was and that was a different fear for them itself.
They immediately run away while Ciaran's aunt drags his limp body in to the house. After he had recovered and was able to move properly, Ciaran went to where his father kept the guns and grenades and for Ciaran it was always go big, so he grabs one of the grenades and walks straight out the front door heading for where he last found them. Walking up to the with a confidence that caused them all to have confused looks on their faces and with a smirk he holds the grenade up so they could see, at this point they had all froze but Ciaran wasn't messing about and in clear view so they could see, he pulls the pin from the grenade and throws it directly at them.
Ciaran turns and starts running, he knew what to expect but wasn't sure how wide the explosion would reach, he is running with all his mite while waiting for the loud bang he knew to expect, but it never came. What he didn't know was, it wasn't just the distribution his father was in charge of but also the recommission of the guns and grenades.
It was safe to say that Ciaran wasn't just riding on his family's reputation, he was creating his own.