If this isn't how things are supposed to work, then I'll cut open a new path for us to take so we could defy everything that stands in our way... -- Florence Joyce
xxxxxx
[Rinako]
The days passed by almost uneventful since that incident. It passed by in a way as if everything around me wasn't functioning right after that. In other words, the way my life went on became hard and at the same time, monotonous. Not to mention, my left arm was still suffering big time.
The classes would start again for that week. But to be honest, it was like I've been only dragging myself to go to school. I wasn't sure. It seemed like I lose the reason to go to school. But then I had to force myself to do it.
I had to.
So here I was, even if my arm was hurting, I went to school. Besides, only my left arm was the one that got hit badly. Remember, I was born right-handed. So in a way, I could still say that I was okay.
No one was in the classroom at the time I arrived there. But what should I expect? I left the house earlier than usual. I didn't turn the classroom's lights on in the meantime. I thought I would rather cherish the darkness for now.
Maybe that way, I'd be able to understand the darkness that had surrounded Setsuji for more than a year. As soon as I sat, I leaned on the backrest of the chair I sat upon. I also closed my eyes. That was why I could truly feel the darkness.
Only silence greeted me. But in that silence, the memories of what happened the day I saw Setsuji's vengeful side slowly flashed in my mind. Until that moment, I still couldn't believe that it had all happened. But the pain searing on my left arm once in a while became my proof that what I had witnessed was nothing more than the sorrowful truth...
That time, after Setsuji said "I'm sorry" while embracing my stomach as he was kneeling, I couldn't move at all. From those words alone, I knew that he was still in so much pain caused by his guilt over his friend's untimely death. The only thing I did was to caress his hair as he continued to cry while apologizing. It was the least I could do, though I knew more than anything else that it would never be enough.
He looked like a lost kid who only cried and cried as a way to find his missing parents. This was Setsuji's side that all this time, I thought that only his family had seen— most likely his mother. But as for the emotional torture he went through as time passed, I had a feeling that only a few could guess but none had the chance to see it.
That is, until that fateful day...
After our moment, everything that had happened next went by in a blur. A few people entered the area at the time. They were agents from the detective agency that Setsuji's family had owned. If I wasn't mistaken, Kiho informed whoever it was about the details who could directly mention it to Setsuji's father. From what I knew, his father was a private detective. At that moment, Setsuji calmed down but he still won't let me go. It took a lot of convincing before he went with his father. After a while, those injured were brought to the hospital.
I saw Mayu was waiting for me outside the building. She was bawling as soon as she saw me. She thought that I was in danger. But I just smiled. I didn't want my cousin to worry any more than she was acting at the moment.
I was supposed to go to the hospital for me to know about Setsuji's situation. But I willed myself not to. I had this feeling, anyway, that the guy won't face me after his outburst. I was able to prove that for the past four days.
It was too late for me to notice that the part where Setsuji hit me with that metal tube had formed a bruise. I already reached home at the time and I was in my room musing a lot. I couldn't even move my left arm properly because of too much pain. I tried my best not to let others know about it, especially my parents.
And so, I ended up wearing long-sleeved tops more often than usual. Of course, it didn't escape my parent's interrogation. Even though I reasoned that I felt chilly for some reason— the kind of chill when having a fever— that was why I wore those tops, they still learned the truth. No thanks to Seiho who happened to be in the house and visiting my cousin.
But he found it out by accident.
I was in my room at the time, and given the fact that the air conditioner wasn't turned on, I decided to remove my long-sleeved top and replaced it with a loose shirt. But as soon as I finished doing that, the door opened all of a sudden and revealed Seiho who my cousin asked to just call me and tell me that the lunch was ready. As soon as he called my attention to have lunch, his gaze went to my arm. I saw the surprise and wincing on his face as soon as he saw the large bruise that formed there. I laughed— albeit I did so in my mind— because it looked like he was the one who was hurting instead of me.
He asked me where I got the bruise. I admit, at least in my mind, that I hesitated to tell him the truth. But when I finally thought about it, that was when my parents entered the room. Naturally, my mom almost went hysterical and my dad started interrogating me. It was then that I decided to just tweak the truth.
I told them that I decided to help Seiho in finding Setsuji at the time. I even asked a friend about the possible locations until I figured out the place where I knew Setsuji could be at the time. At that point, it was the truth. But when I told them about the cause of my injury, I told them that I ended up falling into a rusty metal tube while looking for Setsuji. I told them that it was purely an accident because I was worried for him.
My parents were convinced by my answer, thank goodness. But Seiho wasn't. I noticed that through the stare he gave me. I just gave him a look that said, "It's better this way." From what I could see, he understood the message.
Setsuji didn't go to school after that incident. I only saw Seiho but I wasn't asking for any updates even though I've been itching to do that. I could only pray that Setsuji would get over this setback he encountered. And to finally allow him to find peace within himself.
That was my greatest wish for him at the moment.
The light passed through my closed eyes several moments later. At that point, I knew another student arrived and entered the classroom. Or maybe someone just opened the lights in there.
"You sure are early, huh?"
I opened my eyes upon hearing that. I turned around to face the person who was approaching me. I only gave a small smile to Seiho.
"How's your arm? Does it still hurt?"
I nodded. "But even with that, I need to go to school. I don't want to compromise my studies."
"You should be taking care of yourself more. Especially now." Seiho's face turned solemn as he sat beside me and looked away.
Silence filled the area. Why was it that this guy had such a depressing aura?
"I heard from my brother... about what happened for you to have that bruise," Seiho said moments later, his hands clasped together.
"He told you the truth?" It didn't surprise me but I still stiffened. I thought that guy would never mention anything to anyone about the event.
"He did tell me that he hit you accidentally. And he was guilty because of it. He even promised before that he won't include you in the mess he's into. But he said that you're truly hardheaded. Even still, he said he was truly grateful..." He paused, and faced me soon after. "...that you were there to stop him from doing further irreversible damage."
I couldn't say anything after I heard that. I had no idea what to think of, what to feel. Even still, I couldn't deny one thing.
I truly felt glad that I wasn't too late.
"How is he?" I asked softly. Maybe it was because of my speechlessness.
He shrugged that only made me frown.
"I can't say that he's fine and I can't say otherwise, either. His fever was gone. But I could tell that he was depressed, moping in his room. He couldn't forgive himself for hurting you like that. So he was beating himself for it. It looks like he couldn't accept that he did such a thing to you."
I just let out a hollow chuckle. To be honest, I don't want to imagine all the things that the jerk was doing to punish himself.
"He was never like that to other girls he hurt, though. I mean, aside from our cousins and family friends," Seiho continued. He raised his head and faced me again.
Though it surprised me inwardly, I remained facing him.
"Everything changed since you came into his life, believe it or not."
"Seiho..."
"I never mentioned this to you at all. It's because I didn't know how. I'm not as vocal as my twin brother." And I noticed an indescribable sadness passed in his eyes.
Of course, it confused me. Until a certain realization hit me.
"Were you, by chance, jealous of your brother?" I ventured.
Seiho chuckled as he slightly shook his head. "Jealous is the worst term. I guess I could classify it as slightly envious. And I won't deny that."
"In short, you still have something to be jealous about towards your twin brother."
At the moment, Seiho sure was acting weird. I wonder what did this guy eat for him to blurt things out like this in front of me— I mean, besides me? But then I could finally say that Setsuji and Seiho were normal siblings. I thought at first that they didn't have anything to fight about or be jealous about.
And it seemed that I already had an idea as to what could Seiho possibly be jealous about Setsuji Jerk.
"By the way, how's the progress of trying to woo my cousin?" I asked him as my way of changing the topic. I couldn't handle Seiho's seriousness at the moment. I was used to him being friendly and always smiling though it was obvious that there was some sort of reservation in his smile. I didn't want to think that this guy was the one who was sick and not Setsuji because of his serious aura. He was worried for his twin brother and I could see that.
Seiho blinked, seemed like he was slightly perplexed at my sudden change of subject. He shrugged before smiling. "Don't expect any proper progress about that."
"You mean, you still haven't formally courted her?" Were you serious at the moment? I never thought this guy could be so slow in this aspect.
"I've only given indications but whenever I'd have the courage to tell her my intention to court her, it would dissipate almost instantly. I'm sure you're aware of the fact that even my intention to date her, I couldn't say directly to her," he complained with a pout.
Seriously, this guy did have the guts to complain to me about that, huh? I guessed that truly made Setsuji and Seiho twins. Both had some loose screws in their brains.
I heaved a sigh. "You know, I won't be surprised if the time comes that you'll regret not making any move to declare your feelings to her. Don't waste those chances laid out in front of you. You might not have what you wanted. But at the very least, you didn't waste any chances. You did your best... but maybe it wasn't meant for you if you failed to have it. It's better that way than living with that regret."
It was when the thought of Setsuji flashed in my mind all of a sudden. And I didn't even know why. Great! Just great! That jerk wasn't even related to the advice I was giving, in the first place.
This was getting weird. For real.
"It seems to me you've fought a lot of times to get what you want," Seiho said, breaking the silence between us.
"Fighting is different from taking chances with all the determination you have. But I guess those two terms can still be related to each other."
"So you're saying that I should be a little more aggressive?"
I frowned. "I was thinking more of having additional courage to boost up your determination to woo my cousin." I could only laugh and shook my head not long after. "Seriously, what in the world did our discussion leads us to?"
"You noticed that, too, huh?" After that, Seiho took something from his backpack. I frowned when he handed me an iPod and a rectangular purple box to me.
It seemed like I already knew where this came from. But what was with the iPod?
"Setsu recorded something there last night. He told me to give it to you. A peace offering, I think."
It didn't take me long to accept it. I could've laughed at the gesture but I figured that it might come out as an insult. And I knew if I did that, it would hurt Setsuji even more.
"Take care of my things for a while, okay? I need to go outside," I said. And I knew that Seiho understood what I wanted to do.
Anyway, there were still 30 minutes more before the classes would start. I'd take that time to listen to whatever was recorded on that iPod.
"Take your time."