When I clash against reality, you became my path... -- You Are, GOT7
xxxxxx
[Rinako]
Oh, great! Here we go again. All I've been doing was sighing. It looked like I never get tired of doing so. But hey, it proved that I was still alive, right?
Wrong.
It only proved that I couldn't see anything good around me. How was that so? All I could see around the campus was all about the Christmas Ball. This was making me crazy, for real!
Yes, I knew. I was bitter again. Well, I couldn't help it. What was I supposed to do?
And no matter how useless I would deem this event, I didn't have much of a choice. I had to attend. Mayu made it something compulsory for me to do so. In other words, she was able to force me with the help of my parents who seemed to be much more excited for me. I could've rolled my eyes at that, but I couldn'tーnot in front of them.
Well, it seemed that my mind would be in another point of disarray now that Christmas was about to come.
That was the thought lingering in my mind while looking at the tossing waves as they crashed towards the seaside rocks from the cove where I was at the moment. I wanted to go to the Promise Tree right after that morning walk I did that day. But I thought the guard who was patrolling outside the estate would never let me go inside. I didn't want to be scolded, so I just satisfied myself by going to the cove.
The cove I was talking about was located just below the cliff where the Promise Tree was standing at. There was a tall rock there where I could sit on or even stand and watch the sunrise and the tossing waves. I could freely feel the starting heat of the morning sun, even the wind coming from the sea.
Those were the things that could help me think clearly. But it still wasn't enough. From my position, I could see the statues of the lovers from the Promise Tree legend. And whenever I would see it, there was only one person that entered my mind.
As usual, the thought of the ever-annoying Setsuji was the one who did so. I definitely wouldn't wonder if I became insane before the year ended.
I let more moments pass me by before I became contented with watching the sea.
It was refreshing, I had to be honest. But then it wasn't enough.
Seriously, what was I thinking? It seemed that everything would never be enough for me.
After going to the cove, I headed straight home because Mayu said that we had to get ready for the ball. But it was a bummer since I didn't have any plans to attend the ball but my witch of a cousin was forcing me to attend. It would be bad if Setsuji didn't have any suitable partner except me.
As if!
And she had to use Setsuji as a reason. My cousin had truly gone crazy if you would ask me. But then, there was no use mulling over it. I already agreed, anyway. So I might as well do my best to show at least a bit of enthusiasm even though I didn't feel like going to the event.
"And where in the world did my cousin had been to, huh? You're forgetting that we're supposed to prepare for the ball, right?" That was how my high-tempered cousin greeted me as soon as I reached home.
As for me? I just ignored her tantrums. Well, I think I knew why she was like that. Because Seiho was paired with Mayu for that night and agreed to become his date.
"I just went someplace where I know I'd be able to think properly," I answered nonchalantly. Well, at least it was the truthーalbeit vaguely stated. "And I don't have any plans of backing out, okay? I didn't want you to breathe fire on me. I still need to find something to shield me from that, okay?"
But then it seemed that my cousin didn't like what she heard because she took a throw pillow from the sofa and threw it towards me. I only evaded it with a laugh and stuck out my tongue. Mayu just shook her head.
"I shouldn't have let you wander off on your own. See what it did to you? Now you left your mind wandering off, as well. And it seems that you never managed to get it back."
"I did get it. Haven't you noticed that it was still tired from all of the wanderings it did? So don't be confused as to why my mind was still in disarray until now." Oh, great. Why did I end up saying something "philosophical" again? Or should I say rhetorical? I still needed to think about that.
"Setsuji-kun had a bad effect on your mind, huh?" Mayu could only comment.
"And you just realized that now? It has been like that for a long time now. Ever since he appeared in my life, all he ever did was wreck my mind."
"I thought the truce was officially over?"
"It was over. Since the end of the dance practicum. But I couldn't tell what's what anymore. That guy's actions after were somehow leaning to that of a jealous boyfriend."
And then it hit me.
Oopsie! I did not just say that, right?
Of all examples that I could use, why did it have to be that?
"Jealous boyfriend? How could you even say it's like that?" Mayu asked quite amusingly.
"Because he'd forbidden me to talk to Yushiro," I admitted straight to the point. "Aside from that, he kept on calling me by my first name even though I told him that I didn't give him any permission to refer to me as such. Besides, we're not even that close."
"Why would he do that?"
I hesitated as to whether or not I would tell her the reason that Setsuji told me before. But in the end, I kept the truth to myself. "I don't know. I told you, that guy's brain needed some heavy fixing."
"Well, that was weird of him."
"Tell me about it."
After heaving another sighーwhich I started to hate doing, I started fixing myself to get ready for the ball. But to be honest, I couldn't find myself being enthusiastic about doing this. If it wasn't for Yushiro's request to me never to leave Setsuji's side and even my cousin and parents' endless nagging and "convincing", I would never have forced myself to do it.
But then... Why did I end up agreeing to that request, anyway?
If I truly didn't want to do it, then no one could stop me. I wasn't born and raised as a headstrong girl for nothing. So what exactly urged me to agree to it?
'It only proved that you cared for the guy even though your irritation for him was seriously sky high.'
Was that the reason? And besides, my irritation for him wasn't sky high anymore. Maybe... I could compare it to Taal Volcano's height. Yes, I was using that small volcano from the Philippines as my example.
That was because if my irritation towards Setsuji was still sky high, I would probably end up killing that guy tomorrow or the next day. Then again, I wasn't brutal to do something like that.
"There you go! You look beautiful, Nako-chan! Now I agree that you're more beautiful than I am," Mayu declared when at last, after many grueling hours of fixing myself, our dressing up for the ball was finally done.
"You don't have to lie, you know. Just be grateful that I'm not that taxing to dress up and fix with make-up. 'Cause if it does, it would end up a disaster."
"Well, you have a point on that one."
Then both Mayu and I faced the mirror. I had to admit, even I was surprised at the result of the makeover. Wearing a lavender evening dress that truly defined what curves I had, along with light make-up on my face and a chignon style for my hair, I wasn't sure if any of my classmates could even recognize me.
"Do you think this will be a night to remember for the two of us?" Soon after, Mayu asked. I saw hope in my cousin's eyes.
But I wasn't sure how to answer that question, though. A lot of things could happen. I faced Mayu from the mirror.
"Then we'll just make it a night to remember."