This night is special, let the music play for us to dance. This could be the only night I'll ever have this chance... -- Florence Joyce
xxxxxx
[Rinako]
To be honest, I wasn't sure what to feel when Mayu and I arrived at the venue of the ball.
Perhaps it wasn't enough for me to say that I was surprised by what I saw. I couldn't also say that I was overwhelmed with the grand setup done to the place. Even though in reality, the grand setup of the area was truly overwhelming. They spent a lot just to get this done. Even the foods that were served were amazing.
"Are we really in the right place, Mayu?" I couldn't help asking while looking around and basking at what the students did to the venue. "Did we end up in a Christmas Wonderland or something?"
"Start getting used to seeing something like this here in our university, Nako-chan," Mayu replied with an amused smile as we entered the hall. "The student council were doing their best and spending a lot for events like this. Of course, it was just like their motto: 'Give your best in everything you do.' This is one proof that they're doing their best. Besides, this night is quite special for most of us."
"Well, this is an event for the couples. I should've known."
"What's wrong with you? Can't you stop feeling bitter about this? Even those people on our campus considered to be wallflowers could still find a way to enjoy this event. That means this night isn't just for couples."
Everything needed for this event was all presentーfrom sound system, decoration, food, tables, and chairs. It was indeed amazing! I wonder how many months the council had planned this.
I let Mayu lead the way so that we could find someplace to sit. But as I was following my cousin, I couldn't help noticing something.
Why were the other students kept looking at me? Every spot that my cousin and I went to, some students would shamelessly look at me. I couldn't help feeling self-conscious. What was wrong with the way I look for them to stare at me like this?
Did I look ugly? Did I put on too much make-up? Or maybe even my dress?
Until a thought made me frown.
Why did they care so much about how I looked? And why did I care if they stare at me because of it? I didn't give single care to them and their appearances at the moment, right?
Okay... Maybe I did criticize some of the dresses and whatever outfits that the other students were wearing. But I only did that in my mind. No one heard it but me and my mind.
That was it.
"So this is the reason why the crowd went silent. It was as if two goddesses graced us with their presence with the way you two looked right now."
Those words snapped me out of my musings. I just noticed then that Mayu and I stopped walking. At that moment, we were standing near the table where Mayu chose for us to seat.
I could've rolled my eyes but chose not to. Figures! What should I expect? Of course, my dearest cousin would choose the table where her object of affection was.
"You're saying nonsense things again, Seiho," I commented and finally sat on one of the chairs of that table. "But if you're saying that to please my cousin, it's better if you and Mayu should be the ones talking."
"Oh, come on. There you go excluding yourself again. I was also referring to you, in case you didn't know that."
That made me face Seiho. "What? What are you talking about? Why are you including me again?"
"Because you're worth including," a familiar voice interrupted which, perhaps had come from behind Seiho.
I was surprised when I saw Kiho approaching us. She was smiling at me, wearing that same sweet smile on her faceーher trademark.
"And why do you say that I'm worth including?"
Though Kiho was frowning, she was still smiling. "Have you looked at yourself in front of the mirror? Can't you see that even some of your classmates almost didn't recognize you because of the way you look tonight?"
When I was able to think of those words that Kiho said, I recalled my form when I faced the mirror after my cousin was done fixing ourselves and getting ready for the ball.
I guess she had a point with what she said. The answer was there. I only ended up refusing to believe it.
"It looked like you'd even defeat the other girls with the way you look right now."
To be honest, after I heard that, I couldn't help but face Seiho incredulously. The way he was grinning like a hyena, it seemed that this guy would start another teasing game.
"You know what, Seiho? You should say those words to Mayu since you two will be the ones dating tonight for the ball." And then I faced Kiho. "And you, I'm sure you have a date tonight as well, right? I won't believe you if you say there isn't."
But the smile at Kiho showed me was somewhat sad. It was enough to confuse me.
"I don't know. He didn't even answer me when I asked him to be my date tonight."
I just shook my head. "Seriously speaking, is it a common thing these days for a girl to be the one doing the first move? Wasn't it supposed to be the other way around?"
"It started when it came to a point that there were more guys who couldn't have the guts to do the first move," Mayu replied.
Of course, that statement made us laugh. It was right. This was the period of the generation in which girls had more guts to do everything, even to take risks, compared to the guys.
"Well, you'll never know. Maybe he'll answer you tonight before the ball formally starts," I just said even though I had an idea that it was something like a way of consoling her just to ease the heaviness that Kiho was feeling.
How come I wasn't given the talent to lift someone's hopes and spirit? It was when I proved that being a guidance counselor or even a psychiatrist didn't suit me at all.
But before anything else, it surely took me late to notice one thing.
Where the heck was that Setsuji Jerk, anyway?
But because I didn't want to ask anyone about it, especially Seiho and Mayu--and even Kiho, I just decided to look around. Though I had to do it discreetly. I didn't want anyone to notice what I was doing.
But then, to my surprise, I saw the person I was looking for on the stageーin front of the grand piano situated at the center. What was even more surprising, he was looking intently... at me!
And here goes my irritating heart again. It was beating fast like a drum. This was too much, you know?
I wasn't sure if this guy was just entranced or what. But I had the feeling that this guy won't ever get tired of looking at me that way. As for me... Here I was. I couldn't even remove my gaze from him whenever he would look at me like that.
It was like a staring contest to the max... Now it seemed that this would be our drama as long as the Christmas ball hadn't formally started.
"I never knew he could play the piano," Mayu said, ruining the "magical" staring moment between me and Setsuji.
Eeww, the term!
"Setsu could play the piano, the guitar, and the violin. But most of the time, he liked dealing with the piano," Seiho informed. "He said he needed a better way to divert his frustration to the world. It was much better like that if you ask me. At least, he was considering the musical instruments as his other addiction instead of alcohol and cigarettes."
Well, he had a point.
A few minutes later, the ball had formally started. A few rituals here and thereーnot to mention, a well thought-up message for everyone, especially wishes for the coming Christmas and New Year. Introductions from the emcee and the fun had started.
But the one I was waiting forーalthough I still couldn't believe I was waiting for thatーwas a singing performance from the one person I was staring at a while back. And thankfully, heaven had heard me.
Perhaps it took pity on my screaming heart that seemed to be even more excited to see and listen to Setsuji singing. I didn't even know why.
Geez!
"I just want to say that... I hope we'll be able to greet the Christmas and New Year with hopes in our hearts, wishing for amazing things to happen to us in the coming year. It would be nice, as well, if... one of those hopes and wishes we have would pertain to the people important to us. But tonight, I'm singing a song not to make a wish for myself or anyone else. All I wanted to happen is for that person I'm referring to understand the message of the song that I wanted her to realize. You'll know who you are... the moment you hear me sing this song for you."
His message was vague. But heck! Why was my heart like this at the moment? He wasn't even referring to me, right?
'Oh, come on. Are you sure about that, young lady? You know what? You're always in a state of denial. That's not good, you know?'
I was aware that it wasn't good but I hoped my mind didn't bluntly point that out. It was already ruining my thoughts.
I ended up sighing.
It was the night of the Christmas Ball, and yet here were the thoughts that tried to ruin it for me.
I inhaled... then exhaled. Seriously, I needed to calm myself. And to do that, I needed to focus. I had to listen to the song.
Maybe this way, I would know whom the song was referring to.
An English song, huh? "Beautiful As You" by Jim Brickman. I loved listening to this before, you know. It seemed that he would also listen to this kind of song. But as I continued to listen to every lyric of the song, I couldn't tell the reason why the beat of my heart changed its pace again.
Until I remembered the day we first met.
The first time our paths crossed...
The first time our eyes met, our bodies touched, our breaths brushed each other's skin, and of course... the first time he claimed the warmth of my lipsーespecially since it happened by force.
I couldn't help smiling as those memories flooded my mind. Clumsiness that ended up in that kind of messy set-up.
And at the moment, I wasn't sure anymore as to what was happening between us. Our truce ended up but it looked like he wanted to prolong it. But for what reason?
Just to mess up everything again?
'It's always been that messed up. You just noticed that now?'
I snorted at that sarcastic thought. Thank you! You've been a really big help.
'You're welcome.'
Grr! If I could only kick that part of my mind, I would've done that countless in the past.
I didn't know what to feel.
To be honest, I think I had an idea as to whom Setsuji was referring to through that song. I was taken aback when I saw Setsuji intently staring at meーagainーas he was singing the song.
Wasn't that enough for me to realize what he wanted to say to me?
And because of that, my heart was now beating so fast. I could've avoided his stares but I couldn't.
Setsuji sang the song with all his heart. At least, I was able to prove that while watching him continue to sing.
But listening to him singing that song as he continued staring at me, it seemed that I couldn't stand it anymore.
I needed to breathe some fresh air.
"I have to go out for a while." That was all I said. I didn't even bother waiting for the song to finish or any replies coming from Seiho and Mayu.
What I needed to do at the moment was to get away from that place as soon as possible.