I stood up as fast as I could, not wanting another round of that. Heaven was starting to sound like Hell.
There was a cart just outside of where short red haired Jessel was back sitting, and I walked over quickly. I was not usually afraid of pain, but I was clearly outclassed by everyone and wanted to get the hell out of here.
It had a boiling jug of water that had no heat source, nor did it give off heat from the sides. There were teabags, creme, sugar, and a pot, so I wasted no time making a pot.
"What do you take in your tea, ma'am," I asked, and Jessel sighed.
"Come sit down; I can make my cup fill up. At least you can understand the position your life is in right now," Jessel said, and I walked over to take a seat.
"Why do you all hate me? I did what I was supposed to do to bring peace, right?" I asked, risking a beating for the answer.
"You really don't get it? What peace did you achieve?" Jessel asked and waved her hand over the table.
Suddenly I could see the overhead of a battlefield, but this was in Renna Gorge, which divided Tallis and Melos. The last time I had been there, things had seemed fine, but security had been a bit tight crossing borders.
"This is only one of many conflicts still going on, and that will continue. All because you ignored chances to help. People asked for your help, and you ignored or dismissed them. You are worse than trash!" Jessel shouted.
"Wait, my job was to kill the Demons, ugh!"
I took two more punches and almost fell out of my seat as I gasped for air.
"Every one of us took time to help and work with people, taking a much greater time to get here. We all put in the work that you ignored and left people to fend for themselves, and why? Because of the burden of being a hero? Not being able to relax? You are the symbol of peace! Or you were supposed to be," Jessel said, looking away from me.
I hated that they were right, but kicking the shit out of me wouldn't change that. I was going to have to do something to try to fix this.
"So, what do you need from me? I need to go and save another world?" I asked once I could talk.
"You will be guiding a Hero. I have given one a blessing, but he is a handful. I don't pitch the blessing targets, and frankly, they don't always pick a person that is as meticulous as you. You need to guide a Hero to kill the Snake King Slyfall. If you accept, know this, any slacking or skipping questline will be punished. Trust me, I will punish you," Jessel said, and I nodded.
"So, what kind of world is this?" I asked, but she shook her head.
"You don't get any special information, but you do get one bonus that will make your job work better. Don't ask; I can't tell even if I wanted, but it will be your specific perk going forward," Jessel explained, but she smiled at me after, and something about that made me nervous.
What is actually something good? Or was this just a mean trick waiting to be sprung?
Not like I had much choice.
"Sure, throw me back in," I sighed, and the woman nodded at me.
"If you are able to help a Hero defeat the Snake King Skyfall, you will be granted a day off, and no god can harass you. It's not much, but you should be considered lucky to get anything after the stunt you pulled in your previous life. Now, walk through that gate, and find The Hero of this story," Jessel told me, and ten feet from us, a massive gateway made of marble slammed down from the sky.
It was over fifty feet tall and fifteen feet wide with a rainbow oil slick look of certain nasty potions. It was more than impressive, but it would be nice if I could just sit here and enjoy Heaven for a bit longer.
The few things I had seen really made it look great, minus the ass whoopings. Now I had to get back out there and start kicking ass and taking names again.
"Remember what I said. You are to HELP the Hero and others that need it. I don't care if a cat is stuck in the tree. You are going to help it!" Jessel said, standing up and grabbing my wrist.
I was sailing through the air in just a loincloth the next thing I knew.
When I hit the oily gateway, it was like hitting thick jelly, and I was slowly sucked into it.
"Don't be yourself!" Jessel yelled up at me just as my head was sucked into complete darkness.
[Identity: The Nameless God.]
'Sure, can't even call me by my damn name! What is this sorcery?!'
[Level 1, Str 8| Dex 8| Sta 8 |Man 8|Kno 8 |Cha 999]
'Huh? What is that Charisma stat?! Is that even possible?! My highest stat was my attack, and that was at 97, so just what kind of world was I going to here?! Why are my other stats so low!'
[Class: Musicless Bard of No Hope]
'What the hell is this?! You can't actually be serious?! That can't be an actual class!! Is the All-Mighty really that petty?!'
[Starting equipment: None]
'That's it, I am done! I tap out! I don't want any of this!'
[Entering World: Dessra]
Raining.
Cold.
Wet and muddy.
These were all the first sensations I felt as I lay face down in the mud. I had no idea where I was, and I couldn't breathe, but it didn't matter; I didn't need to.
I was just going to lie here in the puddle and die. Then this cruel existence might be over.
Lightning struck me, and I flew in the air, landing on my feet, twitching. I could still feel the sparks in my hair, which was now getting wetted back down.