Juicy and I's grandpa was the reason why I treat everyone like family.
He had the best group of friends, one of them being Hail, the man who works with Bliss. He didn't remember me even though my grandpa's brought me along most of the times they gathered, but I'm that person who's just not memorable.
Sometimes I feel like I need to place tags everywhere I go saying Blue Was Here as Dani did just so people could finally notice my presence. There's even times when people would tell me a story in details and won't even realize that I was actually with them when everything happened.
I shared this with Bliss on a whim; it was a secret I wanted to keep for myself. Besides, the mustard ceiling she's got is so mesmerizing it makes one think of a lot of stuff to try and avoid seeing how ugly it is. When Bliss heard that, she simply went to her room and brought back some markers.
She told me she saved a bunch of her allowance to buy them; to give to classmates to write on the whiteboard when teachers weren't in the classroom as a means of trying to make friends… she said it didn't work and I wondered what the hell was wrong with her classmates! Bliss gave me the markers and bothered enough to bring the ladder from the roof and placed it in front of me.
"Here you go." She said and pointed at the mustard ceiling.
I got on the ladder after Bliss made sure she held it still. I traced my left hand with the black marker and gave that hand some red nail polish and signed my name with the green marker. It was the most ridiculous thing to draw but it was the only thing I thought of.
It was there and I knew she would keep it because she kept the ugly mustard ceiling. I was so happy that moment I almost fell off the ladder blinded by laughter and she wondered for the hundredth time, how are you Blue? And for the hundredth time my answer was, but you're Bliss indeed.
And she was. I don't care what happened when she was born, I don't care if everyone in the hospital died yesterday… well, I'd care if that happened but never in a million years would I consider Bliss to be the reason. Not even if every spot in town burnt to the ground after Bliss's visited!
Simply because with the amount of times she wondered how am I Blue it reminded me that I am a person who is genuinely easily happy. That I didn't have to force sadness on myself like I did since grandpa passed away.
She's a person who spared a lot of her time to sit in complete quiet with me then told me it wasn't as quiet when I was gone. She notices my presence no matter how unrecognizable.
Honestly, with all my heart I hope that after she'd taken this time to herself that she'll rejoin us. I can't handle having to lose her after she'd been and official and crucial part of each day of mine… or then I'll end up coping wrong!
Just like when grandpa died, who knows, I might just compensate some parts of me and develop having a lisp just to maintain her presence in my
life.