In an almost empty office, five gross-looking men in suits are seated behind a table, two of them had laptops in front of their faces, two held on to some files, while one just sat there annoyingly picking his nose the whole time.
But now looking past the grossness of these men, in the middle of the room sat a lovely young lady.
Her dark hair, cut in a nice short angled bob that perfectly cupped her heart-shaped face, with those hazel eyes that seemed to change colors from green to brown, from brown to gold, and sometimes it seemed to reflect all three colors at once.
Unlike her face, her body was pretty average. Her boobs were probably just a small B cup, her hips, well we can't really tell as she's seated right now.
And according to the resume she submitted, she is a twenty-two year old lady who barely managed to make it through high school, and as such never made it to college. And isn't planning to either.
That's enough author, I'll do the narration from this point on thank you.
Well I wouldn't have survived college anyway, so what's the point of trying?
"So Miss ehhhh..."
"Dickman. Penelope Dickman sir." I try my best to flash my brightest smile. But I'm met with silent titters and snickering, as all five of them are obviously trying to hold in their laughter.
But then soon enough, the snickering starts to turn into loud inappropriate cachinnation, with all five men, banging their hands hard on the table, holding onto their stomach as they laughed and point at me like demented little children.
"P_P... Hahaha hah. Pene_Penelope hahaha haha. Penelope D_Dickman." Laughter and more laughter.
But what they did not understand was that with every word they spew, a string was being pulled out of my head, every laughter they let out added fuel to my rage. A little bit more, and I am bound to lose it.
"Does Odysseus know you're here for an interview?" The buffoon laughed out louder.
"Or are you no longer his faithful wife?"
With the dumb words they uttered, I could only wonder in my head, ``Do your family members know that I'm about to gouge out your eyes and rid that amusing gaze off your faces. Also rip out your impertinent tongues, and then send it back deep down into your throats?`` I just couldn't help but think this way.
"Stop it all of you. Why are you making fun of the poor lady?" My gruesome thoughts were penetrated, as I heard one of them speak. He seemed to be the only sane person among them with common sense.
But then he had to add this...
"Odysseus obviously could not please and satisfy her anymore, he had gotten too outdated, so she went for a man with better D*ck. DICKMAN."
Now I've been trying to keep myself to myself, but right now, all my strings were pulled, all my screws were loose, and my rage was fueled and filled to the brim.
Anger was less than a word to describe how I felt. So what do I do?
I jerked up from the seat, and plunged toward them like a hurricane with my perfectly sharpened chef knife that I always have in my bag, diving at the man in the center first, he was the one with the loudest laugh and it really really irked me.
The rest of them swiftly jumped out of their seats as they watched on in horror.
I thrust the knife straight into his neck.
*Awk!*Gak*Argh*Awk*
Shallow fainted grunts and gags escapes his mouth as he desperately tries drawing breath into his impaled lungs, blood oozing out like a red fountain, the kind I like.
The other men watched on terrified, as they could also hear the silent gurgles like boiling soup that slipped through his lips... Urgh! I haven't had soup in a long time. His gurgling sound makes me hungry. Hmph, tsk.
And like he was nothing more than a mere tuna can, and my knife the can opener, or like he was just some tough piece of meat that I had to cut through.
I dug the knife deeper into his throat viciously cutting round his neck till only a thin tendon of flesh at his nape and some bones joined his neck to his shoulders.
Not being able to cut through the bone, and not satisfied with the bloodied man, I pick up his heavy laptop. And with all the strength I could muster up, I smash it on his face, once, twice, thrice, causing the neck bones to bend back broken, now leaving his head dangling on his back as the only thing ding it now was the thin tendon of flesh.
What a beautiful sight it is!
"Who's laughing now you mindless delinquent. Haha hahaha hahaha." I laugh out loud triumphantly, and then turn to the rest of them.
"You're up next you unrefined, debased, unpolished nose picker!"
"Are you talking to me? The nose-picking man asks, causing me to flick open my closed lashes, now I could see all five men seated in front of me.
"He asked you a question, wife of Odysseus. Did you just insult him?" The man who I just brutally decollated in my mind asks me with a stern gaze.
And that's when I realized ``Damn, did I think out loud again, this is really going to get me in big trouble one day. What do I say now, what do I tell these shrinking old geezers? I need this goddamn job.`` I panicked.
"Can't you hear me?"
"No sir, I never said anything like that." I bluntly denied.
"You stupid woman, you think I'm stupid eh?"
One thing you should all know, I hate it when people call me stupid, but this old weasel is calling me stupid.
"I clearly heard you say unrefined, debased and unpolished nose picker. And that's me."
He didn't look it, but wow, he had a really good memory.
"Just because we were having a little bit of fun with your name does that mean you can insult me huh. In fact why am I still talking? Get up and get out. I don't need to hear anything from you. You're never getting a job here and if you spend another minute in here, I'll make sure your chances of getting a job else where is destroyed. Now get the hell out of here."
"But sir, I promise you I would be a really..."
"Shut up, get up and get the hell out of here."
"But sir I need this job, your company is my last hope..."
"That's it!!! you just lost all future hopes too for staying here longer. Hello, send two men up here to come bundle this thing out of here."
At his words, and ignorance to my pleas, I felt my rage kick in all over again, the beast inside me was starting to emerge. I looked inside my bag to confirm it was there, and it was.
I brought it out. I always have it in my bag.
I only use it when I have a failed interview. Well, it's something that happens all the time. It is my weapon and I never leave it at home.
I was trying so hard to keep it all in, but they can't just do this to me. They were the ones rudely making fun of my name, and I only said that out loud by mistake.
So they can't send me away just like that. I'll have to leave them a goodbye message.
I jerk up from my seat, and plunge towards them like a hurricane with my weapon in hand, diving at the man in center with my face cringed in anger.
"W_What are you doing, w_why are you coming close, why are you staring at me like that... Security... Security!!!" The man screamed at the top of his voice as I approached with death in my eyes.
The other men also held their breaths as they watched me descend on the man in the middle...
"Ahhhh!!" He screamed, his hands flying up to protect his face, as he expected the impact of my collision with some part of his body, but... It never came.
Slowly he opens his previously squeezed eyes, gradually bringing his hand down as he saw me dishing out something to the rest members.
"This is my card, incase you all change your mind. Here's my card, incase you personally want to hire me. I can work as a house maid too, I'm good at cleaning and sweeping, and mopping. I can do anything. Just give me a call anytime." I passed round my card to them, gently and respectfully bowing down my head as I gave it to them.
"This b*tch is psycho. Where the hell is the damn security??" The nose picker shouts. And finally two hefty men walk in.
"About time, get this mentally disturbed woman out of here now!!"
"Yes sir!"
"PLEASE, DON'T FORGET TO CALL ME WHEN YOU NEED A WORKER, EVEN IF IT'S JUST TOILET CLEANING." I scream my lungs out as the men drag me out, one carrying my bag for me.
"I ALSO GIVE MASSAGES. FOR FREE TOO. AS LONG AS YOU'LL FEED ME!!!" Then the door shut close.
>>>
"What the hell was that?"
"That, is exactly what happens when The Joker and harlequin have a baby and then gives her to The Jackal to raise. Unspeakable madness."
"Wait, am I the only one seeing this?"
"what?"
"Look at her card, is that... Is that—"
"Balls, it's a shadow effect diagram of the balls of a grown man."
"She makes a business card with a man's d*ck as the logo"
"what do you expect from a woman named Dickman? And they start laughing all over again.