There's a difference between the future a person expects and a future fate has set out for you. Sometimes someone can easily say that when they finish school that they are going to go on and become a doctor or a biologist. Later, they realize that they're going to be neither and instead become the janitor for a fast food restaurant for reasons unknown. Some might say they're going to marry a famous actor or actress, then find out that they're true love is a mathematician who teaches at a university. Of course, they never think about their past lovers from childhood because it was a thing of the past. Why would they?
My childhood lover was a beautiful girl named Bree: green eyes that shone in the sun, golden hair that radiated light, and a smile that could do wonders to my mind. Even my mother and father had believed she was the one for me. We had always gotten along fairly well and even continued being friends throughout higher education. It was the perfect life. What happened? She found her one and only not long after she and her family moved. Bree loved Deryn and moved on, didn't even look back at me.
Some might ask why she would do that when we had been friends—lovers even—for as long as I could remember. I always told them Fate was the reason. Those who understood us nodded their heads and felt sorry for me. Those who didn't understand us gave me funny looks and asked how Fate could do anything when it was my choice. To them, I never knew how to answer because it was something I could not explain easily.
Fate, or as some like to call it, the Moon Goddess, brings two persons together. That couple are then called mates. I am one of those who believes in Fate. I, unlike most eyes would believe, am not human. I am a werewolf and have two forms: wolf and human. My human side is better able to control emotions and actions. My wolf side…well, let's just say is the complete opposite.
My wolf, large and black with golden eyes, resides within my mind while in my human form. I am able to speak to it mentally and have conversations like I would another human, though the language is somewhat different. We—my wolf and I—are to become alphas of our pack someday very soon, and we can't wait. We've been training for this our whole lives and are impatient for the day to come.
The only problem is, we don't have a mate yet—at least we haven't found her yet. We thought Bree would be our mate, our Luna, to rule beside us and bring the next generation of pups. We were sorely mistaken after we met Deryn. My wolf and I yearn for our mate, whoever she may be, from the deepest parts of our hearts. We go out at night and even howl our longing and frustration, only to be earned silence from the moon and forest. My heart was aching, but it was nothing compared to my wolf's.
See, when a wolf doesn't find his or her mate after a certain point, it goes into a depression state worse than any human could ever have. Once the wolf acquires it, the human form slowly starts to fall ill with different symptoms. Sometimes, this can last months or years, making the individual suffer the pain for what seems like an eternity. For the lucky ones, they get maybe a few weeks at best. It doesn't matter though, it still hurts.
My pack—or family—is located somewhat north where it is cold, but you can still find green grass in the summer. We are called the Blue Oasis Pack, mostly because the nights give off a bluish tint to the land and turns everything glowing. It's quite beautiful, especially in winter. My mother and father—current alpha and Luna of my pack—are Ariston and Lyall. They're wonderful people who are always thinking of the pack's safety while also thinking of their own happiness. Its what good leaders do. It's what I will do when I find my mate, my Luna.
If only I'd known just how special she truly was and met her earlier on, I might not be mourning Bree's absence so hard.