"Would you like to go out on a run?" my father, Merle, asks me after supper one autumn evening.
"Is it going to be with the whole pack, because I don't need their pity."
My father's expression went from cheerful to gloomy in the snap of my fingers. His beautiful hazel eyes dulled from their usual brightness, and his mouth drooped into a frown. "Opal, They're just curious. It's unheard of—"
I cut him off before he could re-open the wound. "I know, but they can be less obvious, can't they?"
"You can't hide forever."
No, I can't. If I do, I'll never find my mate and my wolf will die. I will die. my parents and brother will mourn me, and the pack will become a sorrowful mess. A pack sticks together, plays together, fights together. They will take their Alpha's daughter's death to heart just as bad as the Alpha himself. "You're right. But, until my birthday, I think I can spare a few more days in my bedroom, ignoring the lives around me."
My father crossed his arms in irritation. "Opaline, just because you haven't turned of age yet does not mean you still can't get out there and discover the world. For once, I'm giving you the chance to be free and go wild within our borders. I am giving you the opportunity to let your wolf out and experience life again through her eyes."
My wolf… My wolf was just as disappointed with me as everyone else, but at least she has the decency to ignore me than bother me. She only comes around when I let her loose, and that's not often. I don't think I've seen her in…three months...five? I feel her in the back of my mind, but she never jumps up to converse with me. "What was the point until we found our mate? Or until we slowly die to death in depression and loss?"
In my mind now, I ask her what she wants to do. At first, she's silent, as usual. But then she crawls forward with her head on her paws and whines. "Please!"
"Okay. But I'm going alone," I finally say to my father.
He holds up his hands and smiles. "As long as you're going, I don't care who you're with."
Now, I walk out in the back yard and strip in one of the five stalls that line our porch, setting all clothing accessories in a pile before I let my wolf come forth and take control. She is glad for the liberty after being cooped up for so long. I can feel her sigh of relief and eagerness to stretch her legs. Abruptly, my bones start to snap and crack, my body shifting into a beautiful Himalayan wolf with a white chest that softly turns a light tan color along my side, then into a shiny grey on my back. Our tail isn't as thick as most wolves, especially of my pack, but it's tan with a grey tip. And damn! am I tiny! My father can walk right over me and his chest doesn't even skim my shoulders. Fuck, my mother, Selen, is a grey wolf and even she's larger than life compared to me. I can't imagine what my mate might be like.
Immediately, sounds flood my senses: the breeze in the trees, birds and squirrels chirping, paws scratching dirt and earth as they travel to their final destination. This sense alone is information overload. My wolf shakes her head to clear it before nudging the door open with her nose and padding out into the cool sun rays. For a moment, she just stands there, soaking up anything and everything she can while picking a place to run. I mention the river that borders our northern parts and she agrees, taking off in that direction. Wind whips through our fur, green and brown fly by as we race through the forest. Wolves of our pack, Whisper Eclipse, glance at us before either barking a greeting or waving a hand at us. My wolf, loving the attention at the moment, howls her joy into the sky causing young pups to squeak their own tune in with hers.
It was a glorious way of living: free from the rules of the human and their government, yet still protected by the pack and our allies. It didn't matter what we did, as long as we stayed away from human territory, which wasn't hard considering they mostly lived in the cities. I never feared humans, but at the same time, never went near them for the sake of warnings.
My wolf stopped suddenly, a familiar scent catching her nose: like salt and strawberries. It was a peculiar scent, but one that somehow was very intoxicating. "Is that Loup? I thought he went back south to his pack?"
We inhaled again, and there was no doubt that it was in fact Loup, my ex-boyfriend. "Maybe he's here to ask father for assistance in something?" I suggest because there was no other explanation.
"Do you think he found his mate?"
"Maybe, but wouldn't her scent be mixed in with his?"
My wolf thought about this for a moment. "Only if they've mated. If they haven't, then we might not get a whiff of her until we're nose-to-nose."
Deciding on going to find Loup, we headed somewhat east and followed his trail. We sniffed possibly three others with him, all male, and only two of them were mated. How they could be apart from their mates was beyond reasoning, considering my parents could hardly stand to be a mile apart.
We were probably right behind them when my wolf caught a different smell that took up our whole nose and filled our body with soothing and calm. I practically swam in the scent but my wolf was stiff and alert, glancing around for something. What is it?
"That scent!" She brought her nose in the air and inhaled deeply: woodsmoke and…and…snow. That was the only way we could describe it. It was cool and refreshing like water, but had this thick blanket of…something regarding ice but not exactly solid yet. It was a complicated scent that took our breath away. My wolf burst into a howl that was filled with longing and desire, beautiful and sad, heartfelt and open. She poured her song into the air in hopes for an answer she was anticipating. When I asked her about why she was doing it, she responded with, "Mate!"
"But, how?"
My wolf shook herself and started pacing. "I just know."
I never understood how my wolf knew certain things I didn't. It was like she had this sixth sense that could catch almost anything, even if I can't sense the same thing. "Maybe we should head home?"
My wolf growled low from deep in her throat. "He's near. His scent is oddly fresh, just beyond our borders. He's probably in the next territory."
"Maybe, but we can't go looking for him."
"Mate, mate, mate…" She kept chanting that for five long minutes, scanning the forest while pacing in circles. The thought of finding Loup long gone from her mind, but not mine.
I didn't care about mates as much as my wolf did. I mean, yes, I wanted to find him so we didn't die a slow death, but I also wanted to choose for myself. What if I didn't like this mate Fate chose for us? What if I liked some other wolf—or even human—more than I liked this person? My wolf knew who he was by his scent alone, but how the hell was I supposed to know?
My mother once told me that I'd know just by looking at him. My father said I'd also know once we had skin-to-skin contact and I felt good all of a sudden. My brother, Jacques, said he found his mate just by scenting her in a crowd in human form. I couldn't do that. My wolf senses are as dull as a doornail in my human form, not to mention other technicalities. Who was I to recognize him if we suddenly bumped into each other at a meeting by accident? I hardly notice people as it is. Who's to say I won't completely bypass him without blinking twice?
My wolf heard my inner thoughts and stopped pacing, giving me a slight whimper. "I'm sorry. I know this is new for you too. But, you'll know. You'll have me there to sense him if he's ever around."
"But you never come forth whenever I need you," I say softly.
"Just because I don't show myself doesn't mean I don't sense what goes on around you. If Mate is anywhere near, I'll warn you. Until then, don't worry."
I gave her a quick smile before we headed home finally, the scent of snow and woodsmoke still in our minds, curling and swirling in a haze to the point it was hard to think straight. I wanted that scent all the time. My mouth watered and my human body was stiff with alertness as to where it might be coming from, but it seemed like it was everywhere now. It frustrated both me and my wolf, wanting to rip my hair out over the damn situation.
"Opaline?"
At the sound of my name, my body stills and my eyes snap up to a male figure a few feet away. Strawberry and salt, as my wolf informs me, identifying this handsome man I've seen before. "Loup?"