A few hours after Luke's warning, Mammon and I were together in class, when Mammon suddenly started monologuing. "I've been waiting for this day for so, so long... I've dreamed of this so many times I can't even count. All this time we've been apart, I've never stopped thinkin' about you. You've really got me wrapped around your finger, ya know that? I thought I was strong, but I just can't resist you, no matter how hard I try. I never thought I'd see the day when anyone could do this to me... I've fallen so hard for you. I hope you knew what you were doing when you cast this spell on me, because I'm yours now, and there's no going back." Mammon pulls out Goldie, his credit card, and treats it like person he dotes on.
"Oh credit card...CREDIT CARD, BABY...! I MISSED YOU SO SO SO MUCH...! And now you've finally come back to me! I was so worried... Ya don't even know. Did that bastard Lucifer mistreat you? To think he went and stuck you in the freezer-the freezer! You must've been so cold, so lonely, so sad... Oh you poor, poor baby! I wuv you so much! You're back here with me now, safe and sound. So don't you worry, 'cause I'm going to treat ya right, Goldie. We're gonna be so, so happy together, you'll see! We'll shop together and visit ATMs together. We'll do it over and over and over until you're completely maxed out...!" He starts hugging Goldie to his chest, rubbing 'her' against his face, and petting and patting it, which just totally weirds me out.
"...Wait a minute. What is it, human? You look like you want to say something. Go on, whatever it is, say it, because I'm in such an incredibly good mood right now. I'd even be willing to answer a question for you, depending on what it is." Mammon finally stopped talking to his credit card and noticed that I was just staring at him, unbelievably weirded out by what I saw. "Mammon, you're REALLY weirding me out here! You know that, right?!"
"Fine. Be weirded out, then. It doesn't bother me. I don't even care! As long as I've got my baby Goldie here with me, that's all I need." Seeing as he was never going to stop treating Goldie as a human instead of a credit card, I tried to get Mammon to stop and talk about something else. "So, what will you buy with all that money?" I was thinking he would most definitely buy stuff for himself.
"Hey, whoa...wait a minute. Human, don't tell me ya actually think that...oh, I don't believe this...! You actually think I spend all that money on stuff for myself? Buying the newest model U-Pad, the latest Versucci jacket..." As Mammon gave me a look of disbelief, I was nodding my head, knowing he is THE Avatar of Greed.
"Well, you've got it wrong, human! Just shows how shallow you are! Now, you sit yourself down right there and listen. Actually, don't sit, kneel. You know what? Don't kneel, prostrate yourself. On the floor with ya! It's time you found out exactly how magnanimous I can be. Listen and learn." As Mammon was preparing to tell me this 'story', I sat down rolling my eyes. 'As if you can make me follow your orders. Just be grateful that I am not ordering you to do the same for me, MAMMON!'
"So, there's this girl I met in the human world. And when I say girl, I mean little girl. She's only nine years old. But ever since the day she was born, she's been stuck in a bed. You see, she ain't well. It's a serious, long-term sorta situation. She needs surgery, but she ain't got the money for it, and she ain't got family to look after her, either. At this rate, all she can do is wait for death to come." As Mammon told this sad tale, I was begin to tear up, even as I try to take this with a grain of salt.
"So, I got to thinkin'...I want to do whatever I can to help her. I know that's not a very me thing to think, but it's true. Still, the fact is that I'm a demon. I can't very well be caught actin' like an angel, ya know? So, I sent her all sorts of stuff. And I did it anonymously, so no one would know it was me." Mammon ends his story with a small heartwarming smile.
I technically didn't know what to say, as this was an incredibly sad story that could all just be fake. "That's so sweet and heartwarming that I think I'm going to cry!" I decide to give Mammon the benefit of the doubt, knowing that he once WAS an angel. 'He didn't mention when he met this girl. He could have done this a little bit before he fell from heaven, right?'
"I know, right? Right? I AM sweet, aren't I? Seriously, I almost make MYSELF wanna cry. You humans have a word for this sorta thing, right? An 'anonymous angel,' that's what I am. Though I guess in my case I'm actually an 'anonymous devil,' huh? So, NOW you get it, don't you? You understand what a great guy I am." As Mammon started acting all self-important, I start to grow less sad about his story, less awed by his 'kindness', and more suspicious about him.