Lying on the bed with her, observing her even breathing and just looking at how peacefully she hug my chest. This right here is what I wanted to keep for life. But this is what I'm also scared of, the peace. This peace that I might not keep longer as I recalled what transpired with my coversation with my family.
"You cannot do this to me appa, I have someone I love. You understand what that means of all people…" I was frustrated.
My father does not look happy either. I have always look up to him. He has always been a man of principle. When my grandparents turned their back on him for marrying my mom, we lived a simple, happy life. But when the incident of 1995 happened, his principles change into something else. He might have blamed himself for the death of his parents, that's why the company is his atonement. He became too caught up to the idea of keeping it as a legacy.
"You have a choice. You can either help us out with this, or you can also turn your back on us…" he uttered.
"Sang-hoon…."my mom shouted. She doesn't like the idea of engagement either, but she always supported my dad.
"Is it because she's a Filipino? Is that it?" I wanted to at least know why.
"Jae-woo, please try to understand your father. We will accept whoever it is that you love, but this is different. The company is all what's left of your grandparents. If the control will go back to your uncle's or anyone else, there's no knowing what they will do to it again…"
"But marrying for the sake of saving this company is sacrificing my happiness, yet again. I have been married once before; can I not at least have one happy marriage for once?"
"So, are you going to marry that woman?" my dad asked. I am taken aback. Am I?
"You're not even sure. You are here arguing to us about love and all that, yet you are not sure. What's wrong with Na-ri? She likes you and she's a decent woman, you'll learn to like her…" my father continued. But I am stuck at the thought of Ara. I am sure of how I feel towards her, but I am still in doubt about how she feels for me. Am I ready to marry her? Am I ready for marriage at all?
"There should be other way…" I uttered in retreat.
"Jae-woo, son, do you want her to be dragged into this? She seems like a sweet lady. She is educated as well, but you know your uncle, he won't back down. He will find a way to hurt you through her…" my mom has a point. If only they knew her better.
"I will buy more shares from Namshin to secure our majority control…" I pronounced impulsively. Both of them looked at me with curiosity.
"Which money are you going to use? You can't liquidate your assets, especially the ones connected to Namshin…don't tell me you're willing to give up your company just to save prove your love to her…" my dad now speaking in a calmer way.
"Why not? Haven't you sacrifice everything once for love?"
"Jae-woo, that's ridiculous. Namesis is your life, that will be your legacy…"
"Ara is my life now, and as you say Namshin is our legacy…" I ended our conversation.
I know it was an impulsive statement. Giving up Namesis to secure Namshin's share, but I am now trying to consider the thought. For 8 years, I have labored through Namesis and now that it's finally recognized as one of the best IT company in the country, it made me proud of myself. I did it through my hard works, without anyone's influence. Namesis is just me, a company I built with my own determination. My lifework. And thinking about giving it up for her, it's ridiculous. But thinking about not seeing her again and marrying someone else, that's unimaginable.
How far will my uncle go to hurt her? She can take care of herself. I know that. But the thought of being blindsided with her enemy might still hurt her. I was thinking of what Chris Kang said, if this will end up as a company feud between Namesis and RTR, our company will be more hurt. If I won't do anything to stop my uncle from digging into her life, I'm not sure what she will do in retaliation. She made sure from the start that she wanted her anonymity, so much so that she's lying low from their company business.
I'm in doubt. How much is she willing to fight for us if it will come to a point that she needs to choose between our relationship and her anonymity? Does she care for us enough to brave the odds with me?
She seemed to be in control of things when she came back. I'm anxious about telling her what transpired over the week. But knowing how resourceful she can be and how many people are working for her, she might already know what's happening. Although, I have yet to break the engagement news to her.
It's a welcome sight to see her all cheerful. It seems that she is unfazed with whatever it is that's going on. I cannot be the one bringing her mood down. I missed her. Looking at her this cheery makes me want to hold on to this moment longer. But she's not the one who will let things go without confrontation. Isn't that why I have admired her for so long?
The news with Namshin and my decision to give up Namesis made her angry. She didn't want it. What makes her angrier is my decision of solving things by myself. But she's always the rational one, every time we are faced with difficult situation, she always proves time and again why I am so in love with her. She's not like, any other woman, she doesn't do nonsensical acts, she is always business as usual.
The thought of her taking over my problems hurt my ego a bit. I have never in my life asked anyone for help in dealing with my problems. I always find a way to do it alone. But I guess, being in a relationship with someone like her is something else. I experience a lot of new things. I am so happy hearing her confessions, every time I hear her say US or OUR that was music to my ears. She wanted our life together to start…yes that's what she wanted. Our life together, that's what I wanted too.
I called a stockbroker friend that night. We have to figure out how to buy all those spinning stocks. I tried calling everyone I knew and to Jae-yin about the other 2 shareholders, but she doesn't know as well. The night ended with me confident to secure most of the shares that I needed. I have to go back to our house tomorrow. Jae-yin and Ji-hwan will also be there. It's a family lunch time, but I am expecting more than that.
I have been too busy on my laptop and on the phone that I failed to notice the time. It's past midnight. I went to her study to check if she's still there. But she might have felt the jetlag already. She's peacefully sleeping on her bed. When did I start liking her? It might have been the first time I laid my eyes on her, no matter how empty those eyes were, there is a magical feeling of wanting to know her more. From that moment on, she never left my thoughts. How lucky am I that fate brought her to me?