"If I knew you will be in the committee, I would have introduced Roo-ni sooner to you," Soo-ah approached me. The 3 years that we've known each other, and her working closed to me, she knew how I can be at times.
"He passed though…" I smiled at her, if you only knew, I muttered under my breath.
"You can join us for dinner, later?" she invited.
"I have kickboxing class, beside I cannot be third-wheeling right now. Enjoy." She's smiling brightly but now she's looking over my shoulder.
"Thank you, Miss Ara for standing up for me…" it was Roo-ni with Prof Kim, he must have relayed what had transpired om the deliberation.
"I keep forgetting how good you are with this sort of things; I didn't realize you don't need preparations to be put up here." Professor Kim is smiling. I am never getting used to this kind of flattery.
"Thabk you. But I'll head out first, I have an appointment in an hour, and I am not dress appropriately for it…" I bid goodbye to them and extend my congratulations again.
I went to also give my regards to Mads and look around to bade goodbye to someone out of courtesy. Here I am thinking he would jump into the opportunity to confront me, but it seems he is busy with his girlfriend, eh.
"The director called for them, they are guests of the university, so the Dean and the Director wanted to express gratitude on behalf of the school…" Professor Kim is behind me.
"It's just impolite for me to just leave without saying goodbye. But I need to go…."
"I'll tell him. This is probably not the last time you will meet each other anyway", he assured me.
The first day of my kickboxing class is at half past 8. It's only 10 minutes by bike from the Loft but I needed to change. It's already half past seven and if I don't leave now, I will be in a tight spot after. I was waiting for a cab, when his car stopped in front of me.
"You have a bad habit of leaving me hanging until now…" he said when he rolled down his windows.
"I'm not the one who left first though…"
"I heard you're going somewhere; hop in I'll drive you…"
I don't have the luxury of time. So, instead of dilly-dallying I hopped in. What is the purpose of rejecting when I also wanted to see him and talk to him?
"So, are you trying to ditch me tonight as well?" he started.
"I tried to look for you…"
"I heard from Prof Kim", he confirmed.
"It's just that I have a prior engagement to attend to, so I'm a bit in a hurry."
"It seems like something very important…" he glances.
"Sort of…"
"So, you're staying for six months this time…", there's a smile from his lips.
"I wouldn't say six months, just until my dissertation finished, probably 5 months max", I stated.
"At least I now know you are not going to suddenly leave again."
"For goodness sake, stop it already…"I raised my voice with impatience. I don't know why I got irritated but it's really getting into my nerves all this comment about leaving.
Then he drove by the side of the road and stopped the car. I was surprised and looked at him in disbelief.
"You said stop…" he smirked. This guy is trying to act cute. I am beginning to waver.
"Don't act oblivious…you know what I mean…" He laughed.
"How have you been?"
"Good."
"It's really nice to see you. I almost decline participating with that defense. I'm glad, I came."
I can't gather my thoughts to reply. All I was thinking at that moment is to get out, I'm not ready to dive into this conversation right now. I'm afraid I might get swayed, that I might forget the repercussion of what I might do. But before I could storm out, he must have read my mind, he locked the doors of the car. I looked at him.
"You're here now. Don't even think about leaving without saying anything." I don't think I can go easily this time, either.
"I left without saying goodbye because it was not meant to be a goodbye. For 3 years, I was putting off myself with the desire to reach out. I pretended to be busy, that I can do it tomorrow…until those tomorrows became years, until I finally just accepted the reality that it's not really meant to happen." I finally had the courage to speak up.
He let out a sigh. I'm not sure if he was convinced or he just don't want to further discuss the matter.
"Are you not housed at Gwanak?" he asked. So, he knew where the student housings are.
"That's it?! Are you not going to say anything?" I commented. I thought he's going to talk, but he is just really going to bring me home.
"You have an appointment, right?"
I gave him the address of the loft. We arrive at the loft 20 minutes before 8, that was the longest 20-minute travel of my life. He looked at me. Probably thinking what to say. But he just took my phone and save his number, he rings his phone to save my number as well.
"Can we have dinner tomorrow?"
"Ok." I agreed, because I needed to rush to catch my appointment.
"See you, Ara…"
And just like that, he took off. I would have expected him to be more insistent. But it seemed that he didn't miss me as much as I did. Maybe, he really moved on now. Am I really expecting this much after leaving him three years ago?