I arrived at the university 9:40, I went to the faculty office and left my coat and some papers at my desk before going to my first class. I looked inside the room and there were probably already 11 students. The student taking this course are already in their 3rd year in the humanities and some in the social sciences. I checked at the class record and there was 15 who registered. I checked at my time again, it's already 10 and there are 12 students in the room. The student beside me is smiling at me. They are young and full of dreams, they are probably in their early 20s, hopeful of the possibilities that lies ahead.
I always feel anxious on my first days of lecture. It's the thought of not knowing what to expect that makes me feel excited and nervous at the same time. I stood up and took my stuff upfront. The student sitting beside me earlier who asked if I'm taking this class looks so surprise now.
"Good morning. I'm Ara Rivera, your instructor for this semester's Philosophy of Language. I hope we all have an exciting class together. I am expecting to have an interactive class with you. I'm not here to lecture, I'm here to listen, to share and to discuss ideas…I hope you'll feel the same…" I always get the same reactions in the beginning of my classes. I get it, I could still pass as an undergrad student. I just smile thinking of all the numerous times I was mistaken to be their classmate.
My classes on the first day, is dedicated to introduction and discussion of the syllabus. For a while, I forgot that I'm really in Seoul and just thought it was a normal day in Copenhagen with my normal routine at the university. But everything sinks in again when I went back to the loft. The webpage of his interview is still on my computer. I don't even know how many times I have to replay that confession and how many times I wanted to call and confront him. I was startled by the sound of my ringing phone. It is Professor Kim.
"Ara, I haven't seen you today, I went to Yonsei for a consultation," he explained. He doesn't have regular classes anymore at the university he only has some supervisory assignment as well as consultations for the SKY universities.
"I will see you tomorrow to discuss about your dissertation plan. I received your email about how you're expecting it to move forward and I will just suggest some few readings and materials" he said, his voice seem tired.
"Prof, it's only the first day and you seem overworked already", I teased him
"You know how it is for first days, it's the time where we have to arrange everything first, I'll see you tomorrow? You don't have lecture at 13.00 so I will meet you in my office? I have forwarded a thesis copy on your email. There will be a defense on Friday, and I am hoping that you'll be part of the thesis committee. I hope it is not too much for you."
"Really? I can be a part of that? It's in the International Department, right?"
"Yes, it's at the Department of Communication. He actually spent time at ITU in Copenhagen…"
I don't want to take much of his time, so I just said goodnight, I'm still feeling a bit of jetlag, so I just reheated some of the food from Soo-ah's mom. He probably also knows that I love being busy and he knew how I become giddy on the thought of discussions, debates and over all academic argumentation.
I checked my weekly schedule: TA Song, Hye soon. I do have a Teacher's assistant, a freshman master's student, it's a relief. All undergrad class can be delegated to the TA if necessary.
I have to make sure to complete a 120-hour a month schedule for this remaining semester of my PhD, sometimes I'm still wondering why I have to subject myself with this stress. But this is something I needed to do for myself. Everyone is asking me about staying at the faculty in Copenhagen after finishing my PhD, but I cannot decide really. And no one among my friends can understand why I still need to this. I went to the program just so I can have a life-long dream fulfilled, of having a title attach to my name. And Doctor, even if it's a PhD is pretty much a big accomplishment already, I just need to hang in there. Plus, I needed to have a life after this and probably a love life. Hang in there.
I met with Professor Kim at 13:00, after meeting for introduction with my 11:00 lecture. I can tell he just have his lunch, which made me feel guilty not to have ask him for lunch since we are having it the same time anyway. I gave him a peck on the cheeks as per my habitual greeting and a courteous hug, he felt taken aback but shrugged it off.
"I'm sorry, it's out of habit, I should just start getting use to the Korean way from now huh?" I blurted as a joke. But he just smiles. This man becomes more dignified to me the longer I knew him. I have forgotten how smitten I was the first time I saw him.
"You are staring again, Ara. You have that habit as well, always lost in your thought..." he teased. But get back to business as soon as we are seated.
"How is Myeong and Ji-hoon?"
"They are ecstatic to know you're in Seoul, Ji-hoon wanted to know if Marcus will be visiting as well…"
"I will see if I can bring him one time…" His son and Marcus had become friends when they were in Copenhagen. Marcus adored and looked up to his son, he is 4 years older than him, but it didn't stop them from becoming close.