'He would hear me if I got close.'
Eva stared at the opening in the trees that would lead to the small creek where she had spent the morning. It was such a small distance.
'It is a good opportunity for me to practice my stealth skills.'
She knew that it was just justification. She needed a reason for her head to follow where her heart wanted to go.
Her hand reached out without her realizing it. She pulled it closer to her chest, wrestling with her inner thoughts.
'Huh, why does my chest hurt so much?'
************
Lucas had just reached the small stream he had found previously. He looked around him and scanned the nearby trees that surrounded the small space.
A visible sigh escaped him as he removed his shirt and clothes. Eva was close so he could finally relax and clean off the dirt and grime from their travels.
Pausing while scrubbing his arm he looked down at the swirling water at his feet.
'How long can I last? At some point I will have to tell her how I…'
Snap.
A sudden noise filtered into his ears, interrupting his thoughts. It came from the trees directly behind him. He quickly turned towards the sound.
He squinted into the bright sunlight, but he saw nothing.
'Could it…'
Gritting his teeth, he crouched down on a rock near the stream. Just because he was thinking about Eva didn't mean she would suddenly be behind him.
That noise could have just as easily been some kind of small animal alerted by his presence in the area.
In fact all of these thoughts were just a distraction that was keeping him from keeping Eva safe. He needed to focus on the task at hand and his confusing thoughts were just getting in the way.
************
In the end her body had moved on its own. No goal. No internal discussion about how she would ignore her feelings.
'What is wrong with me?'
The snap of the stick under her foot had woken her up. Hiding behind a large tree she managed to hide herself and avoid being discovered.
Her hand was covering her mouth in case her breathing could be picked up by his sensitive ears. Her heart beat loudly in her ears as she slowly sank down the trunk of the tree that was hiding her.
A splash of water alerted her to the fact that she had been successful in hiding. Her breathing returned to normal, but she didn't move her hand from her mouth.
'What am I thinking? I wasn't thinking.'
A burning sensation filled her cheeks. The image of his shirt off was sparkling in her memory.
'No, why am I thinking about that?'
She could not even say that her thoughts were intentional. When the thought of peeking at him crossed her mind, she was suddenly staring at him from the tree line.
It was like the parts in between those two events were lost. She clutched her head in her hands.
'How could I just sneak up on him like that? Was it luck that he did not hear or even see me?'
Eva paused for a moment as she thought she heard a lilting melody float into her ears.
'A melody?'--
'Wait, what am I doing?'
Eva was staring down at her hands in the same position as before. The image of Lucas by the stream with no shirt floated back up to the forefront of her mind again.
'What is wrong with me? How could I do that?'
'I promised myself I would give up on these feelings, didn't I?'
'Didn't I?'
Tears fell down her face. Worried that Lucas could hear her, she covered her mouth and nose one more time. She could not allow him to find her like this.
The ache in her chest made more tears fall from her eyes. She could not explain why she was reacting this way.
It just felt like all the happiness she had in this world was taken from her all at once.
"Eva?"
The voice she did not want to hear the most spoke above her. Her eyes widened and she peeked up at the confused elf with concern in his eyes.
His hair was still wet from washing in the stream. He was reaching down towards her, but she smacked his hand away.
"No. Please.. Leave me." Her voice broke as the pitiful please left her mouth.
Lucas froze and dropped his hand, which had started to reach out to her a second time. His lips formed a thin line as conflict spread across his face.
Eva knew he wanted to make her feel better. That he just wanted to make her smile. She could not allow him to do that this time. She could not allow him to give her anything else because it would only hurt him more.
"I said to leave me alone." Her voice was firmer this time.
Lucas took a step back. The hurt in his eyes was almost palpable. Then she watched as his hurt disappeared and turned dull.
He picked up the bag he had dropped and returned in the direction of the camp. Each step felt like another hammer to her heart.
Her heart cried out to him. She wanted to apologize for her harsh words and beg him to come back and hold her like before, to say that he would protect her, and to finally admit his feelings for her.
She slowly rolled up each of these fleeting thoughts and packed them away in a box inside of her. She locked this box tightly and hid the key from herself.
Eva hugged her knees and rocked in place. The pieces of her heart that were breaking were put back in place. It would be fine.
It was not like her heart had not been broken before. Perhaps the first shard that had broken from the whole came from the first time she had seen the look of disappointment aimed at her on her father's face.
'Compared to that, this will be easier. I think.'
A new round of sobs escaped her lips. She didn't bother holding back the sounds this time and the sound of her cries echoed through the forest as the sun began to set.
******
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