"This might sting..."
Eirene bit her lip to suppress the groan that escaped from the open space.
Instantly, the boy shot up and looked at her guiltily, "Was it that bad?" In his one hand was a partially red gauze held by tweezers, and in the other was her pale arm.
The actress shook her head and offered a small smile through her pain. She watched as Ares resumed treating her wounds with the first-aid kit, more carefully this time as if he was dealing with cotton candy.
She slowly released her captive lips when he finished disinfecting the cuts and moved on to applying an ointment.
Eirene sarcastically snorted in her mind.
Usually, she hid them, even from her own manager, whom she had known for almost a decade. She was afraid of being judged by him and everyone she was close to and being taken as a need of protection.
The fear she held in her mind eventually turned into terror and shame.
"Do you think I'm crazy?"
Ares snapped up his head with a frown and shook his head. "No. Never once, never will." His words were short and simple but enough to hit the right spot in her mind.
The woman's eyes became blurry. She didn't know how many times she had shed tears today. She was getting sick of herself.
The boy smiled kindly and wiped off her tears with a handkerchief since he had her arm in his hand. He didn't wait for a thank you from the actress and continued what he was doing.
To her, crying was a way to admit she was weak and helpless. Once or twice a week was her routine, but when it came to several times a day to the point that she had to remove her make-up, she felt disgusted towards herself.
She didn't know all the negative emotions she buried in the ground, in a hunk of concrete in a casket wrapped with thick chains, could be so easily broken with just a balmy hug.
"Is it too tight?" Ares worriedly asked after he put a pin in the freshly wrapped bandages. He then tilted his head with dissatisfaction as he compared his work with the tutorial done by a professional. "I should have leaned it from Eric when I had the chance..." He murmured to the wound.
It was Eirene's turn to shake her head. "It's okay. Thank you, so much."
"I did the bare minimum and it doesn't even look great so don't thank me." Ares put a thumbs up after packing away the kit and disposing of the used gauze in the dustbin, cleverly hidden and disguised to not ruin the room's atmosphere.
With his back against the back of the sofas, Ares momentarily relaxed and turned to her. Eirene didn't need to be told to know that it was time for her.
When they parted the hug after she had shown the wound, the first thing the boy did was clean the wound before it could be infected, so they hadn't had time for Eirene.
The woman inhaled shakily and spoke as she crossed her arm as she was trying to defend herself from something she only knew.
"I don't find joy in cutting myself and receiving pain, believe me... But I just can't help it..." She stared right into the sofa. "Every time blood drips from the thin red line I made, I get a sense of relief and satisfaction. It makes me feel that I'm real, alive and breathing..."
"Waves of regret come hours later and I'd feel like trash for doing that to my own body, but I don't know... Like an addiction." As she continued, her breathing began going quick, shallow and unstable.
"I promise this was the last time, and I'd never do it again, but I repeat it again and again. I don't know how to stop or if I can stop. I want to stop..." The blank air in front of her shifted into a familiar sight.
Memories of her cutting herself in the dark bathroom took over Eirene's sight. But it didn't look like it was her own memory as she saw herself. The present self was watching the past self like a ghost in the middle of rose petals.
The scene was almost like a beautiful ancient painting except for the fact that the petals scattered around the woman weren't petals but blood.
Drops of red liquid like rain circled around the crying woman as if she was a sacrifice for a reincarnation ritual.
Eirene remembered the scene. This was from the night when she had gotten a letter from the voice, Ivan, bringing back the torturous memories. This was the night she had seriously thought of taking her own life.
The only thing that had stopped her from doing what she was going to do was her daughter, Theia, who somehow woke up and told her she had a nightmare and wanted to sleep together...
A gentle movement near her now-treated arm slowly brought the actress back from her memory. Eirene had to blink a couple of times to know what was happening. But when she tried to move her neck, it felt as if they were stones, and there was no way for her to move.
It was like having sleep paralysis.
Whatever Ares was doing, he was very gentle with his moves. But also at the same time, firm.
Eirene followed the movement of the boy with her dark eyes. She was confused but calm, knowing that he wasn't trying to do her harm.
After the boy did whatever he did, he held her hand. Him looking into her eyes and holding her hands softly as he caressed the knuckles allowed her to relax her strained muscles.
When Eirene regained full control over her body, she wanted to see what the boy had done.
At first, Ares didn't let go of her hands from his grasp. Partially because her attempt at it was very feeble and mostly because of how surprisingly strong he really was under the white shirt.
But when the actress tugged her hands again, he seemed to have realised what she wanted and let her go, scratching the back of the head in embarrassment soon after.
Eirene first looked down at her dully aching inner left arm. There were three red spots on the freshly applied gauze. It was obvious she had reopened the wound that had just gotten closed.
On and around the gauze were marks like crescent moons. Especially the ones on the skin were blood-soaked, with one mark, really shedding a drop of blood.
She knew exactly what she had done.
The woman shifted her focus on her right hand, specifically her long back nails. She usually only had manicures, but several days ago, she began putting fake nails for the role she was playing in the second season of a drama.
Just as she had imagined, there was a glistering on the edge of those nails. And one, in particular, was, in fact, given a brand new top layer of dark red, her ring finger.
Her right hand had unconsciously made its way to the injured arm and grasped the hell out of it was the summary, and Ares ended it without putting pressure on her.
The actress's lips turned into a sarcastic smile.
When Eirene thought about how much stress she was giving to Ares because of her selfish wish for him to know made her want to stab herself. She definitely deserved the pain she was feeling.
"I'm sorry..." Salty water flowed out of her eyes as she covered her face and
And because of the character she had to act, she had long nails like a witch's, which left brand new red marks on the skin like a series of blood-stained crescent moons.
"No, no."
Before Ares could comfort her and let her stay in her bubble, Eirene stretched out her arm, half to stop him and the other half, to show him. "And the left arm isn't the only place that I cut."
She cradled herself onto the sofa as if to fit in a suitcase and hid her face as she confessed the next part.
"I used to do it on my right forearm, but Jaxon found out and managed to get me through it. That was four years ago. I got by for the next few months with Jaxon checking on me every day... But..." Her breathing stopped as she was prey and a predator was at her neck. "There was... an incident that involved my family, and this came back. Jaxon know about this, but it's hard for me to quit."
As Eirene cried her heart out, warmth engulfed her along with a scent like a bakery surrounded by fresh flowers. Her face found itself on the other's shoulder and rested there.
At first, there were no words but what followed next was what finally broke the barrier that shielded Eirene's broken soul.
"You don't need to cut to reassure yourself that you are real, alive and breathing. I'm here, touching you and feeling your heat. This is real. I can hear your heartbeat and your breathing on my neck. This is more than enough proof that you are alive and breathing."
The boy pulled himself back, creating a little space between them, and told her desperately with red ears. "If you are still not convinced, I'll show you. I'll show you that hurting yourself isn't the only way. Replace those with me."
As if that was not enough to pause Eirene's cries, Ares added one more thing for an extra guarantee. "I won't get hurt. I'm quite strong. I grew up on a farm."