REBEKKA DIRECTED A DEADLY GAZE AT THE DOGS, and that was so adorable that I chuckled. "And why are they here now? Are they trying to harm you again?"
"Queen's orders. They hate me. I hate them. So, she decided to punish them by making them take care of my safety until the end of the trials!"
"We won't!" Sohan exclaimed with his hand in the air.
"You are the only one we despise," Adonis added with a smirk.
"Oh, darling," I bowed, mockingly, "I feel so special knowing that I'm the only target of your delightful hatred!" My sarcasm made the girl laugh.
"How does it feel?" Rebekka asked.
"What?"
"How does it feel to see people's death? Don't get me wrong, I always wanted to know," my jaw dropped.
"No one ever asked me that," I chuckled awkwardly. "But in what sense do you want to know?"
"I want to know if it feels like a faint dream, if you see from the person's perspective, or if you see as if you were there and it was real? Maybe others also have this curiosity but are too afraid to ask you. Now that you allowed me to get close, I can't lose the opportunity. Nevertheless, if it's uncomfortable for you, you don't need to tell me!" It isn't.
Playing with the sword, I thought about it. "It feels... Real. Like I am there. Not as the dead, but as... Someone else entirely. I'm there seeing the dead person helplessly, unable to do anything, like a sleep paralasys but standing up," sigh. "And it's a lot to digest. Hard to swallow when I know for sure that I cannot do anything to avoid the person's death!"
No one said anything. They left me in my zone.
"Now, back to what the two of you asked me before," I spoke after some time. "You've never known about me being able to fight like this," I pointed the end of the sword to them. "Because my family decided that it would be embarrassing to our house if people knew that I could fight better than lots of men. So, they hid from everyone."
Rebekka seemed annoyed by that. "But why did you agree with that?"
I grinned. "You don't get it, do you? My entire family loathes me, Rebekka. They all blame me for the deaths of my mother, my sisters, half-sisters, and my grandparents! And I don't mind that, because I understand their pain, once I also suffered from their deaths. Everybody needs a person to blame and hate for it, and that someone is me," my laugh came out more bitter than I wanted. "I feel terrible for all the pain I caused them even though I know I did not cause anything."
"But-" I didn't let her talk.
"The best I could do was to obey them and listen to their wishes. They could scream at me, beat me, and I wouldn't hate them for it, I wouldn't say anything back. I do not trust them, and I never will, that's for sure. However, I love them, they are my family, even if they don't want to be," I giggled. "I've been receiving this treatment since I was 3 to 4 years old!"
The dogs made an annoying sound. "Then why change now?" It was Adonis again, with that rude tone of his.
"I think seeing my death changed quite a bit of me, you know? Although I don't believe any of you would understand what I mean." My sarcasm was obvious. "All of those 19 years, I lived holding myself, bottling everything I thought, all I wanted to do, all of my wishes inside. I blamed myself for having those cursed eyes of mine when I'm not at fault. And all you all did was mistreat me."
Taking four daggers from the ground, and leaving the sword there, I began to throw them at the furthest target from where I was.
"It's like you forgot I'm also a human with feelings and thoughts of my own. As if you all believed I would forever stay submissive to your anger. I couldn't handle it anymore. I needed to begin living my own life before it was too late. 52 years," I lied. "52 years is all I have."
The girl seemed relieved, but by how the dogs stared at me, I could tell they didn't believe me. Very smart, I have to say.
"Takings as I don't want to get married so soon, I'll probably never meet my grandchildren, and even if I do, I won't be able to see them grow," with the time I have left, I won't even be able to have my kids...
I won't have a husband nor kids, or grandchildren. All I dreamed of having, will never happen. In two years I'll be with Avyanna again and I couldn't be sadder, as much as I love her.
"I'm not trying to threaten you, Nsomi," Adonis again. Gods, can't he just shut up? "But I find it hard to believe that you, of all people, will still live 52 years," he's right though.
"Why don't you shut your mouth? What do you know about any of this? If she's saying she still has 52 years, then it's the truth. Why would she lie about that?" She's so naive?
I heard a giggle, but it wasn't any of the dogs. It came from the entry of the private training grounds, and when I turned to see who it was, I found Aeneas standing there.
With the familiar condescending aura around him, he stared straight at me. "You don't know her as we do, Lady Rebekka," ha. "She would never give us the pleasure of knowing that she has less than a year or two to live," that made me greet my teeth for an instant.
"You?" I laughed sarcastically. "You know me? Are you serious?" By the stern look on his face, he didn't like my tone, and I couldn't care less. "You don't even know yourself, Aeneas, how could you say you know me?" I mocked with my eyebrows raised.
"What did you just say?"
"Oh, so you are deaf now, hm?" I threw a dagger in his direction, startling him. "You don't know me, Aeneas. You never did, you never cared. So don't bullshit me, asshole!" I threw more two daggers at him. "I'm not angry for you for hating me, jerk. But I won't admit that you say shit like this."
But yeah, he was gods-damn right about that. It's not like I'll ever admit it though. And to make it better, when I was about to throw the next dagger in his direction, Rai appeared again and took it before it could come closer to our brother.
"What do you want now?"
"Why are you throwing daggers at him, Nsomi? Are you insane? Do you want to kill him?" That made me smirk viciously and he backed away.
"Well, you all hate me already. At least if I killed him, you would all have a real reason to hate me, wouldn't you?" He stared at me as if I had gone crazy for real.
Closing my eyes, I took a deep breath, and without saying anything else, still with a dagger in my hands, I left them. I ran away from there, annoyed to the core. With my eyes closed, guided by all of my other senses. Not wanting to see anyone's death accidentally.
Until I hit someone and fell on the ground with the person. And to my dismay, it was that dummy, Elodie. When she realized it was me, she screamed as if I had just attempted to murder her.
"Close your damn eyes, dumbass," she did that in the same second and I pushed her away from me. "Fuck. Why don't you see where you are going, stupid girl?"
"You were the one with the eyes closed, not me!" She spoke way too loudly.
"Why do you think?" My sarcasm made her back away. "Gods above, just stay away from me," she was still on the ground when I walked away from her.
And to make it worse, Gods-damn Daisuke showed up at the same instant and misunderstood the whole thing. Prepared with dark glasses, he turned to me and held my left arm with too much strength, giving me a deja vu from the day I came to speak with his parents.
"Now you are harming my girls as well?" His tone was accusatory.
Just like that, he brutally threw me to the ground, making me hit the wall, and went to help Elodie. As expected, she didn't tell him the truth.
"Did she do this to you?" He's the type to hurt first and ask later. "Tell me the truth, she won't hurt you anymore, darling," Gods...
Is he so ignorant to think Elodie like boys? Or am I too fast to catch up on that? At least, anyone with a brain would see how this dumbass looks at Daisuke's sister.
"I... Yes... She threw me to the ground," excuse me?
I giggled, and she jumped scared. "I'm mesmerized by your honesty, Elodie Aoife Branwen," taking a deep breath, I pressed the dagger down and got up. "Now I understand why you and my brother are best friends," when I was about to get out of there, two guards appeared in front of me, stopping me from going anywhere.
Not having the patience to fight at the moment, I waited, with my back turned to the two assholes.
"Go to the infirmary, my dear," hearing Daisuke speak with her like that made me suddenly sick again and nauseous. "She won't hurt you again."
"I may not have done that, but Gods, how I wish I had," I muttered loud enough for her to hear me.
After she was about three hallways away from us, he came closer to me, making me even more nauseous.
"You cannot hurt any of the girls, Eileithya," ugh. "If you hurt any of them, it's like hurting my future wife, your future Queen," I chuckled sarcastically at that.
"None of them will be my future Queen, Daisuke," I spoke, glaring at him with a smirk. "My future Queen died five years ago!"
At the mention of his sister, he held me by the throat, and I took that moment to put my dagger against his throat.
"If you try to kill me, I'll give you the same destiny," my voice was firm and it made my point. His guards got startled by my actions and tried to point their weapons at me.
"Don't!" His order was simple but made them freeze. "Do not try anything stupid." Daisuke glared at me again, still holding me by my precious neck. "You don't have the right to mention anything about my sister!" His tone was deadly but I ignored it.
"Do you think she's proud of what you are doing? Of how you turned out?" I asked with my eyebrows raised. I caught him off guard with that question, that he left me off.
Breathing freely again, I kept my dagger where it was for one more instant, before stepping back. "I shouldn't tell you this, but I find it quite delightful."
"What are you talking about?" He hissed.
"I'm talking about your obliviousness, your royal highness!" I giggled. "It's amusing to see you acting as if all the girls here want to marry you! Especially when some of them don't even like boys," with that, I followed my way.
Trying to be as far from them as possible.