He felt worse still when he noticed that Tom was smiling at him warmly, he relaxed fully and he tried to change his expression and smile at his friend instead, but to no avail, he still did his best and his face instead held an expression which consisted of Josh smiling with an incredibly guilty look plaguing his eyes.
Tom could only sigh at the sight, his smile widening only slightly as he lightly honked his friend on the head with his free hand. His smile was filled with tenderness and the way he looked at Josh was filled with affection.
"Dummy, it doesn't matter. These types of people don't mean anything to me anyway." Tom sighed once again and continued, "I mean, they don't matter to you either right? You've changed recently, you used to make friends with anyone your eyes came across but look at you now. Couldn't give a damn about any of these guys, huh?" His eyebrows furrowed in questioning, but a smile was still on his face and he looked beautiful. The sun was shining on him and he looked blinding.
Josh was looking at him bashfully as his cheeks reddened slightly, he replied slowly, his voice was low and the volume was barely over a whisper, "Well, as you get older you have to learn to appreciate what you have, right? I cant let go of friends I've had all my life for a bunch of people that'll forget me in a few years."
Tom's smile became brighter as he heard this and in turn he asked Josh another question, "Well, if that's the case then, what'll you do about him?" He said as he used his hand to point at the guy behind Josh, as he then let his forearm rest on Josh's shoulder.
Josh pondered this for a moment, "I already agreed to trying out the noodle place for lunch together with him later, you said you'd come too, right? I have to keep my word, even so you don't have to come if you don't want to. After all, I wouldn't want to come if someone was being indifferent towards me, well, actually he was being somewhat more openly but also hidden-ly, is that even a word? Anyway, hidden-ly hostile? I guess?"
Josh took a breath before he continued to speak, "Yeah, so, you don't have to come for lunch but I'll probably be going, but yeah, I most probably definitely won't be going after school to whatever place with them right, I mean you didn't want to either right?" Josh looked at Tom's face shi h had no hints of anger or anything of the sort, he only looked the same as usual.
"Although that's said on the assumption you don't want to go, that is, if you want to go I'll of course go too. But you of course don't have to go if you don't want to, you get what I mean?" Josh inquired with his eyebrows semi-furrowed as a anxious smile appeared on his face.
Josh had just been rambling and he knew it, he had been doing so because he had a hard time with words, not that he couldn't talk normally, but more like he couldn't help but be unable to find the right words to convey himself, this was more evident than usual at times in which he felt somewhat flustered and was trying to make a situation work itself out.
"Is that right? Well then, our new little friend looks like he's feeling anxious to know your answer, might want to tell him soon to get him off your back, hm?" Tom said as his eyes momentarily filled with a venomous look and his teeth grit together for only a briefly passing moment. It passed so quickly that Josh hardly noticed and the sight was just pushed as deep into his memories as it could go and he no longer thought of nor worried about it. Instead, Josh nodded towards Tom slightly.
Josh smiled slightly at Tom and then proceeded to turn around to face the guy who was standing behind him, his smile weakened, the feeling had gone but the thought was still there, this resulted in a bone chilling smile that scared the shit out of whoever was looking at it, it didn't help that Josh once again looked as though he wanted to murder someone and had the look of someone who wasn't too worried about it what to do with the body afterwards.
However, Josh took a couple of deep breaths and attempted to calm himself, a lot of the am missing left but the image was still vivid in the guys mind as Josh began speaking. The lack of a scary face only made him feel more nervous, wondering if the now friendly face was meant to convey a threat.
"Hey, you know… I- actually I don't think we can hang out after classes are over-" Josh was about to say as he looked back toward the guy, the guy also turned to look at him and he smiled sheepishly as he interrupted Josh, he quickly clasped his sleeve and fiddled with the hem.
"Actually, you- …you don't need to bother, that is… if you don't want to come that is, there's no need to. I mean- no pressure, right?" The guy stated almost questioningly as he raised both his arms and faced his palms towards Josh and Tom in a manner that almost looked as though he wanted to convey that he was giving up.
"Yeah?" Asked Josh brazenly, "What about lunch then?" He asked as his voice came out more intimidating than he had meant for it to, and his tone was more aggressive than he'd tried for it to sound. However, no matter which way it went, Josh didn't really care much for holding a good image over someone he'd soon forget. Josh only let out a sigh and didn't even bother trying to correct his words and tone.
The guy only smiled anxiously, and was about to tell Josh that of course he wouldn't have to come if he didn't want to, it's wasn't like he had planned to force him in the first place, but Josh beat him to it and instead interrupted him and said, "Well, you know what. I guess I'll go, I mean, I said I would. Oh, and Tom isn't coming, so don't feel too happy about it." He was barely suppressing a sneer as he said this and once he'd finished he looked at the guy slightly condescendingly and started walking away.
However, the guy called out to him hastily as he saw Josh leaving, "Yeah, 1:30! Don't forget, and yeah I- I'm- nevermind…" his voice got quieter and quieter as he spoke but Josh and Tom were both able to hear every word. The guy was undoubtably trying to apologise, after all it was one of the hardest things to say, but even so, if you can not bring yourself to say it, doesn't that just mean you never really meant the so-called apology in the first place?