"I'm sorry."
"Huh?"
Lilith didn't understand why Amon is suddenly apologizing to her. With Amon's voice now laced with sadness and at the same time what seemed like guilt, he further explained what he was apologizing for.
"I didn't mean to keep you and make you feel like a prisoner. It's just that I can't ignore your mother's words. She asked me that favor of protecting you and raising you as if her life depended on it."
Lilith didn't know what to say. She just stood there, quiet, as Amon continued to express himself.
"Ironic, isn't it? I'm a Grim Reaper who is in charge to get souls of dying people. Yet I got you and protected you because I felt the big responsibility thrown on my by your mother."
"Do you..." Lilith's heart ached somehow when she asked the question. "Regret taking me in?"
"No!" Amon immediately answered, not realize that it's what he was making Lilith feel. "I don't intend to make you feel that way. I never regret taking you in."
"Then... why do you sound so sad?" Lilith asked, further furrowing her brows together as she walked a step closer to Amon, making him take a step back. "Why is it that in the way you speak, you sound as if you're too sad?"
"Lilith..."
Amon felt emotional. He didn't know why but tears pooled in his eyes. He turned his back away from Lilith, conscious of how he looked right now.
The Grim Reaper knew that he is wearing a mask to hide his face, but he still felt embarrassed of being seen this way.
"Because by the way you spoke... by the way you kept venting how you felt of having no freedom, it made me feel bad. You don't deserve this."
"Amon--"
"No... you do not interrupt me again," Amon said, interrupting her this time after Lilith interrupted her for how many times. "You listen, Lilith. It's your turn to listen."
The Grim Reaper turned his back to look at her through his cow-head mask. With how expressive he was, Lilith felt overwhelmed, her hand instinctively touching her chest as if to calm her heart down as she listned to Amon.
"If only I wasn't so worried about what could have been... then maybe you won't feel this way. But how could I not when your mother asked me--personally asked me, the Grim Reaper... to raise you?"
'But Amon... you're not being pressured.'
That is what Lilith wanted to say but with him saying that she had to listen to her, then she had no choice but to keep quiet and listen to him even though her tongue itched to speak.
"I know she isn't forcing me to--" Amon said, as if reading what was in Lilith's mind. "--but still, I couldn't ignore what she said. I don't know why, but somehow, it made me think and feel strongly that I do need you by my side."
This time, Lilith couldn't speak. Her eyes widened in surprise, the young lady pointing at herself as she was confused with what the Grim Reaper meant."
"You... need me?"
"Yes."
"Then... why say that when you--"
"When I keep you here, right?"
"Amon..."
"What?"
"You're conflicted."
"Obviously."
Amon couldn't help but let out a sarcastic chuckle as he shook his head, his cow-head mask moving along with it.
"You irk me... but I can't stay mad at you for long, either."
Lilith narrowed her eyes at him even though this was a serious conversation. "Is that an insult or a compliment?"
The Grim Reaper didn't answer her question. Instead, he gave her a smile, this time visible to Lilith since he slightly turned to his side for her to see his side profile.
"Both."
Lilith pouted. She crossed her arms in front of her chest as she didn't know what to say. Amon requested her to be quiet, but now that she is listening to him, why is the conversation flying around as if having no destination?
So even a guy like him can be so unpredictable...
"Lilith... you wonder why I always wear this mask. But have you ever wondered what I look like?"
"Of course!"
Lilith immediately turned to look at him, making sure that her shawl is in place with the way she turned. She stomped her foot once, further expressing her excited answer.
"I want you to take off your mask so I could look at your face! But with you explaining as to why you can't, now made me understood why you always wear it."
"Yes..." Amon sighed, holding the mask by the snout. "It's heavy--always heavy. I wear it everyday, but I sill wonder why I'm not used to it."
Amon's voice sounded sad once more. With the atmosphere serious, Lilith find it amazing that their conversation and the air of it kept changing as they conversed with each other.
Amon is like a walking version of moodswings--even moodier than a woman.
"Do you ever... take it off?"
Amon looked at Lilith. This time, she had a worried expression on her face, making Amon wonder what she could be worried about.
"If it's heavy... do you ever take it off?"
"Well..." Amon put down his hand, no longer touching his mask. "I do. When I fall asleep."
"And?" Lilith cocked her head to the side. "Does it help?"
"No."
Lilith found it sad that even taking the mask off doesn't make him feel better. It made her furrow her brows, wondering why is that so.
"But you're already sleeping, right? Why not feel better without it?"
"I don't know." Amon let out a sigh, shaking his head as he answered her question. "Maybe it's because I have grown too conscious of my powers--I have grown too cautious that even the possibility of people walking in on me is stressful."
"But no one does and no one will... right? They respect your privacy and they know to which extent your powers are."
"I know." Amon scoffed. "It's just me... I don't even--"
Amon stopped mid-sentence. He then raised his hand and looked at the back of his palm, now finishing his cut off sentence.
"It's because I don't even trust myself that I won't hurt or kill people."