Her fear went away completely.
At first, she felt sort of empty, but that void required an emotion to fill it up again. The joy and the overwhelming feeling of trust flowed into her.
She realized that there was nothing to fear about the darkness.
It was within her already.
She was scary, strange, even morbid at times, and she was excellent at using people. She WAS the darkness.
All of this came over her in an instant, tactile realization that didn't leave any room for doubt.
Then she saw the face of the shadowy entity.
Normally, she would have been scared out of her mind, but not now.
She greeted the thing with the glowing eyes, silently inviting it to come and watch over her for the rest of the night.
The thrill she felt when the creature brushed against her skin was comparable to the thrill of taking a treasure galleon.
She shivered. While she was still unable to move, she could send out emotions as invisible vibrations.
The entity felt strangely warm as it crept into the bed with her and embraced her. Nothing else happened. Just a shadow with glowing eyes, curling up next to her, making her heart race with delight.
No experience compared to this energy radiating from the being. It was the excitement of both love and violence, the rush of blood inside her veins, the shadow was everything she had ever cherished. She wanted this feeling to last forever.
Sadly, she fell asleep, even though her heart was still beating quite rapidly when she woke up.
This was not anything she would have ever been comfortable discussing with anyone. Perhaps Daniel would understand. Had it been him? The energy had been the same, but there had been no scent in the entity. Perhaps it had been made out of pure energy.
She made herself some tea and shook herself, trying to forget how good it had felt to sleep next to the thing with the glowing eyes.
Roinar avoided her that morning, and perhaps this was a good thing, but they had a treasure to catch, a ship to sink and some throats to cut. Mariana told everyone that they had to make sure they had loaded guns on them at all given times, since they were once again headed towards the shallows and there could be enemies around every corner.
That was what she told his men. She knew that it was the sort of talk that made them walk silently and be cautious - it was a little lie, told by so many captains that many of the more experienced pirates and privateers already knew that it didn't actually have any meaning at all.
Mariana tried to make the Good Wife sail as fast as possible, with little additional cargo, but there were a few things she couldn't give up. They needed livestock, however annoying it was to have to force someone to milk the goats when everyone said that it was a stupid task.
It had been a long time since the last battle on the seas, but Mariana was not feeling anything that would have compared to the thrill she had been riding. Things still felt good, and it was not like she was depressed or anything. She merely felt content. That was not what she had expected.
Sighing, she leaned against the gunwale, wishing that it had been Daniel, or the being with glowing eyes. She missed the feeling of being touched already, even though it was not even noon yet.
Wolfe came to her with a smirk on his face.
"Is the…thing guarded right now?" Mariana asked in a fit of anxiety.
"Relax. It is guarded. And from your face, it appears like you had a good dream or a really good cup of tea."
"Well…"
Gods, she had to get better at understanding how her emotions showed on her face. She was slipping, her facade, her shell was cracking entirely and she had to do something to stop people from peeking into her mind and taking whatever they pleased with them. She shuddered.
"Of course that is none of my business," Wolfe said. He was always so courteous and great. He was a good man.
Mariana would have wanted a good man, but she was not a good woman, not a sensible one, either, so she kept her first mate as a friend. Wolfe could not get too close to her. She didn't want to reveal her gooey heart or her soft side that was the perfect place to stick a dagger into. She pulled away from the first mate on a physical level as well, trying to use her body language to tell him that no, it was truly not his business at all.
"I understand," Wolfe said with a nod. "I'm going to be up in the rigging for a while, so, if you need anything, ask someone who isn't me."
Mariana chuckled nervously.
There was nothing in sight as they sailed in the shallows. The turquoise sea glimmered with bright white spots of light and foam traveling along with the waves, and everything seemed pretty much serene, except for the fact that Mariana felt a sense of dread in the pit of her stomach. She couldn't explain it away, but she still felt like she had to do something about it.
She sat on the deck, cleaning all her blades. She watched Wolfe climb up in the rigging to fix some knot that only he knew of. He was totally focused on the task at hand, not even holding onto the ropes properly, supporting his weight with one arm.
Mariana felt like she knew what was going to happen next.
She closed her eyes.
When she opened them, Wolfe was lying on the deck, not moving. Many of their men were running towards him.
"Wolfe! WOLFE!"
Mariana could smell a whiff of cocoa powder scattered on an old leather coat.
"Curse you, Daniel Brandon," she muttered and ran to her first mate.