Madison? I haven't seen her in years. Never truly ever thought I would see her again. I was told that she left Colorado City about a year after I left, but never in a million years did I think we would be working together. After last night I am not entirely sure we will be working together for long. What is wrong with me? I practically jumped her in the elevator! I was caught off guard, but I am a grown man! I am pretty sure I have some pretty good bruising from her reaction to me also. I deserved it though, after what I did to her I will be amazed if she ever forgives me. I never loved anyone the way I loved that girl, but she isn't that girl anymore and she doesn't trust me.
She is still as beautiful as ever though, I have tried and tried to replace Maddie over the years, but no one has even come close to filling the hole she left. Hole, she left? Huh, she didn't create that hole you Jackass. You were to scared to show up that day and instead jumped in your truck and ran like the coward you are. I just couldn't take it, she always looked at me with complete and total trust and how was I supposed to give her what she deserved? She deserves everything in life, and I was a dumb kid just outta high school. I couldn't give her anything. I didn't want us to be another one of those couples that never left Colorado City, but if I would have just stopped and talked to Maddie she would have understood. I could have made a great life with her, but fear won out and I just vanished.
I have made something of myself. When I left that town, I was determined to become something important and prove to myself I truly deserved to have Maddie. Dumb thing about that is my actions made it to where I will never have her again.
It is the biggest regret I have and there is nothing I can do to fix it. That is why I never returned home, how could I ever explain to her that what I did was so wrong, and I want her back. And I do still want her, but my stupid actions as a dumb kid lost me that chance forever.
How am I supposed to work with Maddie every day and keep myself from crossing that line and make her hate me even more? My love for her is still there, but somehow, I have to suppress that or leave and now that I have seen her I can't just leave and never see her again.
*****
Oh, my weekend wasn't long enough! No matter how much I tried I couldn't stop replaying every word Bronson and I spoke together. I am a grown women! I can work with him every day and not let him affect me one bit. And no, I did not just check myself in the mirror for the millionth time this morning to make sure nothing was out of place! I am just gonna bury myself in my work and try not to deal with my boss too often.
I really do enjoy being an attorney, and so far, work has been pleasant only a few hours in but no sign of Bronson so far.
"Um Madison, I need to talk to you."
"What's up Alice? What's that look for? You look like you are about to ruin my day."
"Well that depends on how you look at it I guess."
"How I look at it huh, well spill might as well get this over with."
"It would seem that Gale was at the bar on Friday."
"Gale? As in Gale Prescott our little office gossip and busy body?"
"That would be the one, and it would seem she has her own version of what she saw on Friday."
"Her own version? What exactly is her version?"
"That you and our new boss seemed to be having a lovers quarrel on Friday at the bar, and you left seeming pretty upset."
"Of course, that is what she saw. How many people has she told so far?"
"Pretty much everyone in the office except you and Mr. Redford."
'Wonderful, thanks for the heads up, Alice."
"Try not to kill Gale, you know how she gets."
"I have no intention of speaking to Gale."
"Then what are you going to do?"
"Absolutely nothing. If everyone wants to think I am hiding something so, be it, my work speaks for itself."
"Way to take the high road. We on for lunch today?"
"Yeah, I will see you in a few hours." Alice walked out and shut my office door. It would seem she knows me well enough to know that I still needed a moment alone. Bronson and I were having a lovers quarrel huh, that little busy body. Crap I am gonna have to give Bronson a call before he hears this rumor and comes to my office to make sure I am ok. All that will do is make the rumors worse. Dang it and my day was going so well.
Just get it over with girl, pick up the phone and dial. "Mr. Redford's office."
Shite, I didn't think about his secretary answering the phone. Um, "This is Ms. Rogers may I please speak to Mr. Redford?"
"May I ask what this is pertaining to?"
"Sorry, that is private."
"Please hold one moment while I check with Mr. Redford."
"Thank you." At least I was smart enough to use my cell and my number is restricted. If I had used my office line everyone would know I was calling Bronson.
"This is Mr. Redford Ms. Rogers how may I help you." I could hear the cheekiness in his voice.
"Oh, cut the crap you knew it was me the minute you picked up the phone."
"That is true, but I am not so sure why you are using your maiden name and calling on a restricted number."
"As a heads up for you, it would seem the rumor mill is in full swing this morning."
"I just heard, was gonna head down and see…"
"That is exactly what you are not going to do. I am fine, rumors are just rumors. If you came down here it would only make them worse."
"I see your point. Well thank you for the heads up."
Oh, I just had a great idea. "Bronson would you possibly be willing to do me a favor?"
"Of course."
"Don't sound so scared. It is pretty simple, and it will get these rumors to quiet down hopefully."
"Now I am intrigued, what is your idea?"
"I need you to ask Gale Prescott out for a drink tonight."
"You want me to do what?"
"Give me a break, just ask her out for a drink tonight, then tomorrow ask another staff member out for a drink. Continue this until you have had drinks with everyone that works here. The rumors will stop then, and everyone will just think we were arguing about work."
"What about drinks with you? You are a staff member."
"As far as everyone knows you and I had drinks last Friday, I am covered. Tomorrow there will be new rumors about you dumping me I am sure and moving on to Gale, but if you keep asking someone different every day given time the rumors will stop. Will you, do it?"
"It would be of little consequence, sure I caused these rumors I will fix them."
"Thank you, Bronson."
"You're welcome Madison." I hung up the phone just hoping my idea would work. I guess it couldn't cause any more problems.
The next few hours flew by just trying to get everything ready for my trials at the end of the week, but I could definitely tell there were rumors flying when I walked through the office to meet Alice for lunch, but by tomorrow the rumors would change.
Alice and I walked down to the bistro a block from our office.
"Madison, have you heard? Mr. Redford asked Gale out for drinks tonight!"
"He works fast!" I said trying to sound surprised.
"You don't think he actually plans to date her, do you?"
"Have no idea and don't really care. I am not going to spend my time worrying about Bronson."
"Huh, Bronson, is it? You sure you aren't hiding something from me?" she questioned.
Crap wasn't supposed to call him that! "I called him Bronson out of habit nothing more. We have agreed to strictly be professional, and I have not seen him since the bar."
"He didn't even come and check on you after the rumors floating this morning?"
"No, he did not, and if he had, it would have only made things worse."
"Oh right. Do you think you will be able to keep everything professional and not let the past influence anything at work with him?"
"I am going to try. I have made a really good life for myself, and I am not going to let anyone take that away from me."
"Good for you. How are your cases going?"
"Not bad have three I am preparing for. The trials for all three should be completed in the next month, unless I can get them to agree to pleas. But I have that trip to Hawaii schedule in exactly six weeks!"
"Sounds like someone is counting down the days."
"I could definitely use a break." Before I even looked up from my lunch and saw Alice's face, I knew he had walked into the bistro. What in the world is he doing here?
"Madison!"
"I know Alice, it's fine."
Alice's face took on a look of contemplation at my words, I wonder what she is thinking now? No time for that here he comes.
"Good afternoon, ladies. Gale told me this was the go to for lunch for most of the office."
Ok so he is trying to tell me he didn't know I was here. "It is, everyone seems to eat here at least once a week. Gives you a chance to get out of the office and just relax for lunch." I spoke.
Just then the waitress walked up with Bronson's order and without even asking placed it right next to me in our booth. Crap, if I really am ok with everything, I will allow him to stay and eat with us and he can't very well just pick up his order and move to another table that would be rude! I smiled up at Bronson to let him know it was ok, but I am sure my smile didn't reach my eyes.
Bronson sat and I can tell he is trying to keep his distance, but these booths aren't made to give you tons of space. "How are things going at work for you Mr. Redford?" I asked.
"Well, thank you Ms. Doughty. It has been interesting getting situated and getting to know everyone at the office. How are things going with the two of you?" He asked.
"I am doing well," Alice said.
Thanks Alice, you could have tried to start up a conversation with him or something. "I am doing well. Just getting ready for my upcoming cases." I wish his leg would stop rubbing against mine. It is making it difficult to think and Bronson doesn't even look like he knows he is doing it. Just chowing down on his hamburger.
"That is wonderful to hear. Are the cases going well?"
"Yes, should have them all closed up within a month."
"Excellent."
I am looking at Alice pointedly trying to get her to start talking to him, but she seems to have forgotten how to speak! I can feel my heart racing and if my body keeps it up Bronson is going to know pretty soon too, damn it. Why do I still react to him this way?
"Madison is actually going to be going on vacation not long after her cases are finished." Alice said. Now she speaks and that is what she says! I kicked her under the table, and she just looked at me with a 'what' expression on her face.
"You are Ms. Doughty?" Bronson said as he looked over at me.
He is probably wondering if my vacation has something to do with him. "Yes, I take one every year about this time. Gives me time to decompress and gear up for another year."
"Maybe that is why you do so well at work. From everything I am told you are one of the top attorneys there." Bronson said.
I wish it didn't, but Bronson's praise made me glow inside, but I am not about to let him see that. "Thank you, I do work very hard to be one of the best."
"You have done well. Alice how is it working with this one?"
I can see Alice trying not to smile. "I honestly don't work with her much, if I did, I don't know that we could still be friends. She is a hard ass."
"Oh, Alice you do just fine when you work with me on a case." I quip.
"I do, but you expect the same from those helping you as you put in yourself and frankly girl you don't have a life." Alice said.
Oh, I am sure she didn't mean anything mean about it, but I don't mean to be a slave driver. "Oh, sorry."
Alice immediately grabbed my hand, "Oh Madison I didn't mean anything mean by it. You know me, I love my social life."
"I know Alice. Bron.. I mean Mr. Redford can you excuse me I need to get back to work.
Bronson looked down at me concerned and moved out of the booth to let me out. Quietly so only I could hear him he said, "Madison is everything ok?"
I just gave him a weak smile and walked out the door.
What was that about. Tons of people are workaholics, why does it bother Madison so much that Alice said she is? "Alice, is it alright if I call you that?"
"Yes that is fine Mr. Redford."
"If I am going to call you Alice you need to call me Bronson." Alice smiled sheepishly, "is everything alright with Madison? I expected you to leave with her when she got up."
"She doesn't want me to, I know her well enough to know she wanted some time alone."
"Why did she get so upset?"
"She knows she works hard and people give her shit about it all the time, but she has tried to have a social life. She has even dated some really nice guys, but it always comes back to she cares more about her career than anything else. I think she still keeps herself pretty guarded so no one can hurt her again." Alice looked pointedly at me when she said that last part.
"Oh, but that was years ago. Surely she must have moved on from that."
"Bronson, moving on is done differently by everyone. You hurt her so badly I think a part of her died or if it is still there she won't take the chance of letting someone else close enough to hurt her the way you did."
I looked down at my food no longer hungry, but Alice continued.
"I shouldn't tell you this, but when I met Madison she was pretty lost. She had been here in College Station a little over a year and how she was still alive is beyond me."
I at once looked up, "what do you mean still alive?"
"Take a closer look at her wrists Bronson. I wasn't there for the entire thing, but from what she has told me she left Colorado City trying to start new. But getting here didn't help anything. She didn't have the people looking at her with pity, but everything still reminded her of you. You destroyed her. She tried to take her own life to get away from it all and ended up in a psychiatric hospital for over a year. She had just gotten out when I met her and she was trying to pick up all the pieces for her life. We became really close and she moved in with me."
"I didn't know any of that."
"No one does, she had those records sealed so that cannot be connected to her now and jeopardize her career. After she moved in with me she was able to get her feet back under her and she has been rebuilding her life ever since." Alice said as she started to get up, "she has a really good thing going right now and she seems really tough, but underneath she is still afraid she could break again. Don't break her Bronson, she can't take it."
"I won't," I said quietly as she walked out the door. So much guilt is washing over me how do I go back to work? I had no idea, Maddie was always so strong. She would never fall apart like that. But she did and it is all my fault. She is strong again I can feel it. I have to do what Madison asked and just be professional. Madison deserves everything in the world and I took that from her and more than I ever imagined. God Maddie I am so sorry.