Work has pretty much gone back to normal. Bronson and I see each other, but he has been nothing but professional. I didn't think he would do as I asked, but he has been above board. Why is it then that I can't seem to get him out of my head. It took me years to push him out and now he is rooted back in there! My dang traitorous head.
"Hey Madison, how are things?" Alice asked as she walked into my office.
"Good, just glad it is Friday. I have my last case to finish up next week then I am gone for two weeks to Hawaii, I cannot wait."
"I bet you are getting pretty anxious about going." She said with a smile.
"I can't wait! I look forward to my trip every year."
"How do you do it?"
"What do you mean?"
"How do you go on a two week trip all by yourself? I would go stir crazy." Alice said with a funny look on her face.
I laughed, "it is just what I need. Two weeks to decompress and just relax. No one to demand anything of me. It is wonderful."
"Yeah, but wouldn't it be nice to have someone go with you?"
"Are you trying to get me to take you on vacation with me Alice?"
"I don't mean me, I mean a guy."
I just laughed again. "You know I am not dating and every guy I have tried to date just doesn't work."
"Maybe because they were the wrong ones."
"Really and who is this right one supposed to be," I asked as I looked up into her knowing face, "he is not the right one Alice. Maybe he was once, but he isn't anymore."
"You don't know that, he has been nothing but professional and I am betting he has grown up a lot since that day."
"No Alice, just don't."
"He isn't even dating anyone, he took everyone out for drinks so the rumors have stopped, but he isn't dating anyone. And you may not want to hear this, but his eyes follow you all the time."
"They do not, he has been nothing but professional you just said so yourself."
"He has been, but that doesn't stop his eyes from tracking you whenever you are near."
"Alice get your head out of the clouds, there is nothing now or a future with Bronson and I."
"There could be if you would give him another chance."
"Seriously! You do remember who he is?"
"I do, but he is an amazing boss and everyone loves him. I really think you should give him another chance. Kids do stupid things and you were kids."
"Alice just stop, please."
She immediately shut her mouth, gave me one of her whatever looks and walked out of my office.
What is she thinking? A little over a month ago Alice hated him, what has made her do such a complete 180? I can never trust Bronson with my heart again. Alice is probably right Bronson is the right one, but he screwed that up on his own and he will never be the one again. That probably means I am going to die with 10 cats and no family, how depressing. I really need to get back out there and find someone. No way am I taking someone on my trip with me, but it is Friday, I can find someone this weekend. I mean what could it possibly hurt?
This is the third dance club I have been to in less than 3 hours! There were guys at the other two also, but sleezy. They were like oil crawling up to me and wanting to dance. Have the standards in men really dropped that much? Can a single girl not go to a club alone and not have every guy trying to get her to sleep with them? This is my last stop, maybe I will call Alice after all. This isn't very much fun without a friend.
"Hey Madison, what you up to this Saturday evening? Man where are you it is really loud?"
"I am at Dudley's Draw over on University Drive."
"You are clubbing?"
"Yeah."
"Without me?"
"Not if you hurry up and get your butt over here I won't be."
"You are terrible, give me 30 minutes."
"See ya in a few."
Oh there is Alice, it did take her about 30 minutes to get here. Thirty minutes of
warding off slime. "Oh thank gosh you are finally here!"
Alice gave me a hug as she said, "if you would have just planned it with me to begin with you wouldn't have been here alone in the first place."
"I know, but I am putting myself back out there and I didn't want to hear your teasing." Not teasing so much as the give Bronson a chance bs I am tired of hearing.
"Well all is forgiven," Alice said with a smile, "let's get our boogie on!"
A few drinks late a couple good looking guys came and asked Alice and I to dance and the four of us actually had a blast just dancing away the night. Maybe the guys out here aren't so bad after all. "Few my feet are beat. I think it is about time for me to call in a night? Alice are you ready to go?"
"I agree, these shoes are not meant for this much movement."
"Oh come on girls, the night is still young." Dillion said.
He is pretty cute and him and I have been having a lot of fun, "Dillion I wish I could but my feet will not take it anymore. By morning I may not be able to walk."
"That's ok, I can just carry you." He said with a smile.
"Thank you, but I really am done for the night. It has been more fun than you know." I said as I leaned in and gave him a hug.
But Dillion didn't let me go he held onto me as he said, "come on babe, come home with me tonight."
"Dillion let me go, I just met you. I am not going home with you tonight," I said as I playfully pulled away from him. "Sorry I am just not that kind of girl."
Dillion smiled, "ok Madison, can I at least have your number?"
"Absolutely." I handed Dillion my number and Alice handed Craig, Dillion's friend, her's and her and I walked arm in arm out the door.
"Thanks for coming Alice, you really turned the night around."
"It was a lot of fun and I like Craig, he was a lot of fun and really sweet."
"I like Dillion too, maybe things are looking up."
"Well you do have your trip…."
"No I am not inviting someone I just met to Hawaii with me."
"Oh but you guys would have a great time I bet."
"Let's get a cab, I can't walk much more. You are a nut Alice."
I crashed when my head hit the pillow, that is the first time in a long time I have
just let myself loose. At least tomorrow is Sunday, I can just take it easy.
Oh man my body doesn't take the partying like it used to. Holy cow the clock says it is already one in the afternoon. Urg, I think I will take a shower and head down to the park for some fresh air.
The water on the lake at the park is pretty soothing. If I am not careful I will fall asleep out here. It is a good thing this tree is holding me up.
"Madison, hey Madison?"
What is that noise, oh crap I must have fallen asleep! I blinked up into the shadow that was standing over me. Ugh, "Hi Bronson."
He easily plopped down on the grass next to me. "Is it common practice for you to fall asleep at the park?"
I giggle a little, "no it definitely is not. I just had a long night."
"Oh," Bronson said.
I thought I saw pain in his eyes, but it was gone before I could identify it. "I just needed some fresh air this afternoon and the lake kinda lulled me to sleep."
"It is beautiful here. So many beautiful things." He said as he stared into my eyes.
I am just going to ignore that. "This is one of my sanctuaries."
"Sorry, I can go." He said as he started to get up.
I grabbed his arm, "Bronson it's ok. I didn't say it was a private sanctuary. It just calms me and brings me peace."
Bronson put his hand over my hand on his arm and sat back down. "Thank you for letting me share this with you."
I just smiled up at him and we sat in silence. I didn't pull my hand away from his arm either, but I don't really want to think about that right now. It will just ruin the moment. Bronson slowly turned my hand over and started tracing circles in my palm, then he moved down to my wrist and traced the faint scar there. I tried to pull my hand away but he wouldn't let me.
"Madison, what is this?"
"Bronson you know exactly what that is. Alice told me she told you."
"She is your best friend Madison, I don't want there to be anything between you two because of me."
"Thank you for that, but she told me. I wasn't happy about it, but I think in a way it also helped me to bring closure to that part of my life."
I looked up into Bronson's eyes and there are tears in them. "Madison I am so sorry, I never meant to hurt you like that."
"Bronson the past is the past, let it stay there."
"I think I need some closure too, can I please?"
With that look in his eyes I couldn't refuse him. I just nodded my head.
"I don't have an excuse I was a scared, chicken shit. You deserved the entire world at your feet and I didn't have anything for you."
"You had your love Bronson, that is all I was looking for from you. We would have figured it out."
"I know that now, but at the time I couldn't come to you empty handed. You were and still are this amazing wonderful person and I was not yet worthy of you. I am so sorry I hurt you because of my fear."
I just leaned my head on his shoulder, "it was a long time ago Bronson. I appreciate the explanation, and I forgive you. I think I have needed to forgive you for a long time. That is a heavy burden to carry around for all those years. I actually feel lighter now. Thank you."
"Thank you for your forgiveness Madison, it means more to me than you know."
Bronson put his arm around me as I rested my head on his shoulder and we again sat in silence. I think both of us were releasing the demons we didn't know we had been dragging around with us for years. He didn't ask anything of me just sat there with me.
"I better head home. I will see you tomorrow Bronson."
"Are you ready for your vacation?"
I smiled, "I am so ready. Finish up my cases this week then off for two weeks."
We both stood, Bronson gave me a hug. "Thank you Madison, I will see you tomorrow."
I got home in time to throw a microwave dinner into heat and checked my messages. I have three.
"Madison, it's Dillion. I had a great time last night, wanted to see if you are free Friday night for dinner." Oh I don't have time for dinner. I fly out first thing Saturday morning dang it.
"Madison, it's Dillion. Was hoping to hear from you today. Give me a call please." Wow I was only gone a few hours.
"Madison, it's Dillion. Are you screening my calls?" Starting to get a little creeped out. Maybe I am just overreacting, I will just call him.
"Hi Dillion, it's Madison."
"I have been calling all afternoon, if you didn't want me to call you shouldn't have lead me on like that."
"Whoa, I wasn't home. I kinda had a long night if you recall and I went for a walk when I got up. I just walked in and listened to your messages."
"Yeah who is the guy at the park. You like stringing multiple guys along?"
"Excuse me! How in the hell did you know I was a the park."
"When you didn't call me back I went for a walk myself and saw you there. Seemed pretty chummy with him so didn't think you would want me to interrupt."
Oh, Dillion is angry you can hear it in his voice. I understand why he is now though. That had to look pretty bad from his view. "Dillion it wasn't anything. He is a friend from back home."
"Looked like a little more than friends."
"I promise it was just two friends comforting each other. Nothing more, it really was just a peaceful moment in time I promise."
"I don't know it really looked intimate."
Dillion is more hesitant now, I guess his anger is subsiding. Seeing Bronson and I at the park was probably pretty hard. "I promise it was nothing."
"Ok."
"I can't do dinner on Friday though. Any chance we could do earlier in the week?"
"I head out on a work trip tomorrow and don't get back in until late Thursday night. How about Saturday?"
"I can't."
"What do you mean you can't."
"Oh nothing bad, I am headed out of town for two weeks on vacation."
"Really, who is going with you?" His voiced sounds skeptical.
"No one actually, every year I take a two week vacation just to clear my head and relax. No worries, no one to please. It is great for the soul I recommend it."
"Where you headed?"
"Hawaii."
"Oh Hawaii is great. Which island?"
"You have been there?"
"Yeah a few times. I have been to the main island and Kauai."
"This time I am going to Maui. I have been to all the islands, so just rotate which one I visit each year. One of these days I will pick somewhere else for vacation."
"Scotland is great, wasn't a big fan of France."
"I always wanted to do a tour of the castles in Ireland and Scotland."
"The castles there are pretty awesome, I would absolutely recommend a visit. Maybe your vacation next year."
"You know I will think about that, just something different for once." Dillion and I just kept talking for hours. Once he got over his anger, well it was more hurt than anything we just talked about everything. He seems like a really great guy and I am really looking forward to getting to know him when I get back from my trip.