To: the.casgomezagmail.com
Subject: Letter B
You know, I used to believe that we belong together.
Well, at least on my dreams. I don't know if I'm being delusional, because of your constant appearance on my dreams. It frustrate me thinking that up until today I have this subconscious thought that we could actually be together. As a matter of fact, this is one of a few reason why I'm writing to you right now.
I want my own peace of mind. I just want to let everything off my chest, and it is somehow working. I could slowly feel those heavy thing getting lifted off my shoulders. So, please if you do see this, don't reply. I mean, if you want, do so, but not until you receive my last mail, okay?
Going back to my dreams, I had this surreal dream about you. It felt real – it felt that you're truly by my side holding my hand wearing that cheeky smile on your face– my favorite thing to capture. I felt secured and contented but the moment I woke up realizing everything was just a dream… my heart sank.
My heart broke once more.
That's how pathetic I've become. I just want everything to stop… I want to stop hoping. I want to stop hurting. Are you sure you didn't put a spell on me? Why did I become this hang up on you?
In that span of five years liking you, I could remember three unforgettable memories. All of which involve getting my heart broken.
First, the moment I realize I'm starting to have feelings for you. I got scared because everything's all new to me. I'm always happy, I'm always ecstatic to see you. I didn't want to ruin our friendship. But when you said that you are starting to develop feelings for someone else, I felt everything fall apart. I saw myself crumble down to pieces. It's never a good sight getting your first heartbreak. That's why I tried my earnest to avoid you because I didn't want to fall deeper while you fall harder for Sandy. But I promise you, I didn't block you on Facebook. I just mentioned it, because you were certain that I did, but I swear I didn't.
Obviously, I failed avoiding you; destiny must be playing games with me. I kept encountering you. And you made it so hard to forget about you! You and your sweet talk. Just like what I fear of, I fell deeper. I'll go into that on my next letter but for now, it's all about how you broke me.
Second, remember after our clean-up drive project? Because I do. I remember everything vividly. At that moment, I hated my best friend because she put me into that situation. She made me watch how happy you are with someone else. At the same time, I hated you more because of the attention you are giving me even if it's uncalled for. I hated you for watching me eat and enjoy my Oreo McFlurry; I hated you for offering your shirt for me to wear; and for the first time ever, I hated your smile… because she was the reason of those beautiful smile. I cried while you smile, I shattered while you felt complete. I didn't want to take it against you but it hurts like hell. I can't completely say I'm happy for you because I was not… I am not.
Third, I honestly thought that seeing you all chummy with your girlfriend, Justice– your girlfriend during our clean-up drive project– would be the maximum pain I could have experienced but I then again I thought wrong. It was 12th of July, I was on my way to our school, dragging my sprained ankle, then I saw you with Andy, the girl you told you'll never date but look at that, you're going to school together. Amazing right? Thank God for my sprained ankle I was able to mask the actual reason why the hell I'm crying my ass off in front of the school gate. When in reality, the crashing of my heart to pieces hurt more than this silly sprain.
You probably knew me with all these stories, or not. Whichever the case, please wait until you receive my final letter. Until your next letter!
Love,
Your audience