To: the.casgomezagmail.com
Subject: Letter C
I've been listening to this song "She's All I Wanna Be" by Tate McRae.
You don't know how much I could relate to this song in so many level. It felt like this song was actually made for me and it makes me angry because of how much I questioned myself just because you can't look at me just like how you look at those girls you've been with.
Cassius, I was with you when you wanted to share your frustration, I was with you when you were struggling with your studies, I was with you each and every time but why didn't you look at me for once? It's really frustrating how could you easily be with someone else while I'm still at your side supporting you, cheering for you.
Just like what the lyrics said:
Stupid boy makin' me so sad
Didn't think you could change this fast
She's got everything that I don't have
How could I ever compete with that?
You indeed made me sad and depressed thinking how could you quickly change from being that sweet but annoying guy who's always in my hair to a guy who's now at the arms of someone else. Imagine, I've watch you go for one girl to another for four years. It made me crazy thinking that you could easily fall for someone else but me. Nevertheless, I'm actually proud of you for finally finding your final girl, hopefully.
"How could I ever compete with that?" That's what I always ask myself whenever you get linked to those girls. They're all beautiful, smart, strong-willed, and confident which I don't possess at all. But I always appreciate it whenever you call me cute. That's how impactful your words are for me. I tried my hardest to just so you could notice me but I guess you only saw me as a friend. Nothing more.
Maybe that's the reason what up until now I can't let go of this feelings because I can't accept the fact that you only saw me as friend because I felt how you treated me before everything went downside. I felt your care, your compassion… This is one thing I want you to answer for me, do you ever felt something for me?
Love,
Your confidant