"Love is like a hole once you fall in it, it is hard to come out, and I'm so scared to make the mistake I made those years ago.
The trust, the love, the care and the friendship, i can't believe I wasted all my life. What if he turns out to be another Ryan?I'm not sure I can handle this blow if he should turn out to be another Ryan. I will die or probably go insane.
I'm trying to hold my sanity but giving him a chance in my life means opening the hole wider.
I bitterly thought to my self."Hey, please don't cry and certainly not because of me. I'm so sorry I will just drop you off, I promise our relationship will be strictly business like" Kellan said wiping the tears from my face.
I could see the painful emotions behind his eyes; he's trying for my sake. You could never judge a book by it cover, could you?"Do you still want to go out for the lunch, Miss Acosta" Kellan asked without looking at me.
He was looking outside the window.He refused to look at me and for some strange reasons that hurts like hell. I shouldn't be feeling this way considering I just met this guy.
I cleared my throat, and inhaled deeply. "Please look at me" I softly pleaded, my voice trembled at the end which I cursed my self for that, he will think I'm weak or something.This shouldn't be happening but my heart and mind for once are not functioning today.
They won't obey me, no matter what I do or say.He turned to look at me, as much as he is hiding the pains from me, I could clearly see it. He's trying to act normal but he is struggling.
"Please tell me why there are sadness in your eyes, this is what you wanted, remember?" he calmly said. Brushing his hands through his hair.I couldn't talk because of the lump in my throat, all I could do was to shake my head.
After swallowing, it I was able to."No this is not what I want, it's just something happened in the past and I'm still not over it" I said not been able to look at him in the eye.
I was embarrassed to talk about the incident which I know he knows about but pretending not to know or something."Do you want to talk about it" he asked taking my hands in his.I looked at him, releasing the full gaze of my eyes on him, I know they must be puffy from all the crying I wonder how he could still sit here and be looking at me.
"Well you know about it and maybe you are pretending not to or you genuinely don't know " I said not making an attempt to remove my hands from his warm hands."Your past doesn't mean anything to me what ever happened I wasn't there, you are here with me which is the present and if you should grant me the access I would like to be in your future as well."
He sweetly said rubbing my hands with his thump."Promise me you will still be by my side after learning about my past" I asked, if I have to give us a chance I have to know he has my back through thick and thin. Since Kellan and I started this thing, we didn't even know what we were but we were pretty close for friends.
He hasn't asked me out yet so I guess I'm not his girlfriend. I talked to his little sister the other day and she was so adorable and cute.
There was this wedding anniversary his aunt invited him to since he hasn't gone back to California where he and his parents reside, he is in the same state as them but has his own penthouse. He told me that when we were talking, he is still in Miami with me.
My leg is not fully healed but it is better and I can walk in heels again but I can't stand in them for long. I don't know if I should go to the anniversary or not since I don't know anyone there.
And I'm more nervous because his parents are going to be there. What if they don't like me or they don't approve of our friendship."What's eating you up?" Kellan asked as he sat comfortably beside me, holding a strawberry smoothie in his hand.
I opened and closed my mouth not knowing what to say. I don't want to offend or give him the wrong impression with my answer because we are on a thin ice.He still thinks I don't want him because of how secretive I am. "Well I'm a little bit worried about what your parents will think of me when they see me for the first" I said bitting my finger nails.
Kellan places his smoothie on a near by table and took both my hands in his, resting it on my bare thigh and that feels good and damn amazing.
"Don't worry about my parents, they will like you, because you are an amazing and sweet girl" he said pulling me into him and kissing me on the temple.
I only smiled into the hug and nodded my head as I buried my face in his chest and inhaled his manly scent combined with his cologne."When did you say the party is?"
I asked him not bothering to put my head on his chest. There is something about him that pulls me in as If I have known him since forever."It is tonight" he whispered in my hair, brushing my hair behind my ears.
I sat up right, my eyes widen as my mouth slightly open as well and my forehead creased."Tonight and I haven't prepared my self." I jumped on my too feet, pacing up and down, brushing my hand through my hair unbraiding the French braids I managed on my head."What I'm I going to do now, and it is almost evening?"
I asked frantically.I felt two strong hands on my shoulders stopping me from pacing."Look at me" he said taking my face in his hands, I could clearly see his face from this close proximity, he is looking at me as if he is going to kiss me.
I could see the tiny silver moving around his blue eyes, his sharp but slightly crooked nose, his sharp jaw and his white teeth and pinkish baby lips.They look so soft and kissable as he e brought his tongue out and wiped it on his dry lips that didn't go on noticed by me. I followed his actions and gulped.
He leaned in slowly so did I. I closed my eyes, I could feel his hot breath on my face and his lips were hovering over mine as they were about to touch, I heard the door bell ringing.