The room was catched in an immense tension,my words were like knives in the heart for Akira,even though he didn't show a visible anger it could still be felt from far away.
He gets up and just walks away not even taking his cardigan from the table,he just left,probably went in the bathroom.
Ryu gave me a disappointed look as he walked away to comfort Akira,while I stayed here not even trying to say a word not only because I was hesitant but because I'm too dumb to even apologize,but why should I if I'm still going to kill him? Making him distance will only result in a faster and easier kill,or will it be harder?
Always thinking about this makes it more harder to believe in the fact that I really got married to a spy and now I have to throw away all my morals and kill an innocent person.
All of this could've been easily just an imagination if my stupid mind didn't think about chatting with him,now I have to succed in all the things,he himself wanted to succed,has he ever asked me what I wish for? Has he ever asked me what I sought to be? Why should I be the only one that actually regrets all the things I've done,why isn't he regretting anything? Is he heartless? If he is why did I even marry him? Just to end up in a constant suffering,why the fuck I'm even trying to surprise anyone with my brand new life,the life on a filthy person that only did filthy things I guess this is my punishment for all the sins I committed. Is it how I should be treated like a slave that needs to obey every single time,to murder?
Now he's probably crying and I can't comfort him only because I'm the one that caused his sadness,even though it would be more logical that he got hurt by all the words I only think he is like this because I mentioned Kazuko,a name he didn't want to hear now and it's not the name he needs to remember right now.
Is he in love with him?
Or a better question: Do they have a stronger connection to eachother?
I need to find out because it could mean something but with what would it help if I were to know what he does and who he knows?
Will it help with something in the killing process?