Countless tries and sleepless nights,these words were the only ones that could describe all the things I did in the past 3 weeks. I still can't figure out how to kill him,I can just stab him but my heart starts racing as if it was going to escape my chest.
He couldn't care less,drinks after drinks and kills after kills this is all he does,I don't even feel like I'm married.
Even though my regrets were high my lust started to grow little by little with every tear he made me drop, it's not as if he made me be disgusted with myself to the point I want to stab myself in the heart a thousand times. From the talkative boy I was, I became a numb piece of what we call human.
As I slowly step to his wardrobe I see it,a photo with some hands that belonged to an elder,could it be that he kept a photo with his grandma's hands? It seems like he isn't that cruel,at least with himself if not with others too.
Does he have photos with his friends too? Is it even ok to go through his wardrobe I know he's my husband but it's still wrong,he didn't say that I could look. I slowly put the photo down as slow as I can so I don't damage it.
I feel like I touched something by accident,could it be...A bone?
Does he keep the bones of his victims? Is he some kind of crazy human? I know he kills but,like this? That's just wrong! He shouldn't keep the bones and if he does at least he shouldn't keep the skull,but I'm afraid that one day he'll keep my skull in there if I dare to ask whose skull it is.
Should I just go back to studying for my finals? Or should I write more plans that I'll think will make the killing process faster and not so painful.
As I was about to start writing I receive a call from a number I know.
It was from Kazuko,but why would he call me,did he suddenly remembered that he owes me money?
Hello?
"Oh hey,Akio,so I know this might sound a little weird,but how do I hide something I'm really ashamed of?"
Well I guess you can just hide it in your closet?
"But I can't..."
Why? Is it that cursed that you can't even hide it in your closet?
"Yeah..."
Are you talking about a dead body?
"No! I would never kill someone! I'm just talking about Akira!"
Why would you want to hide Akira and why are you ashamed of him?
"He drank too much and called one of his enemies and cussed at him and now he leaked his location and is coming to beat him up-"
Akira's dumb as fuck.
"I know."
But,wait,what was he doing at your place drinking? Were you two planning to do something with eachother?
"No way! We were just chatting and I had some alcohol left from yesterday and he started to drink it after that he got drunk,like very drunk and I'm very scared for his safety. Now that one of his enemies wants to kill him I think I should be scared for him."
Why would you be scared for him, is he someone special to you?
"He's a friend, nothing more."
I understand, should I come over just to make sure he's okay? I don't have many things to do since Haruto is at work so I could visit you.
"Ok. But don't be surprised if a flying pan is coming to get you, he's too scared so he's going to throw something at you but please don't be mad at him."
Ok,I won't.
As I drive there I'm only thinking about one thing: If I'm planning to kill him why am I going just to make sure he's okay? Why am I missing out all the chances I get? I'm that pure? I want to kill but I'm in fact just pure? I can't even hurt a fly! I really am useless to Haruto... He married a weakling.
Akira,are you okay?
"You came to kill me! I'm not gonna give up!" He tries to hit but his hands were like marshmallows as he tried to just punch,his face and voice could show me he's really drunk,was he mad at something or mad at someone so he just wasted his frustration with drinks? But why at Kazuko's house and not at his? Maybe he didn't have alcohol which is strange judging by how wealthy his family is he should probably have a fridge special for alcohol or at least a room full of old wine with a good amount of alcohol.
Akira calm down, I'm your friend Akio.
"You are my friend? I get it now he sent you there to act like Aki,say something Aki would say!"
You're a whore.
"Then I guess you really are Aki and I'm not a whore."
Who says?
"Who says I am?"
I say.
"That makes sense."
Since you're drunk and scared I guess you should take your time and sleep,just sleep a little I'll take care of that guy and explain that you were just drunk and that you didn't say these words because you wanted to I'll just say it's alcohol influence.
"You think he'll believe you? He didn't believe me when I said I found a pencil on the floor in fourth grade! How can he believe an entire piece of bullshit! Anyways you can leave I still didn't forgive you for what you said, calling me a whore isn't okay and it will never be it brings up things that just make me feel...weak."
A tear falls down his cheek as he fell in Kazuko's hands and after some seconds tears were falling down one after one till he was in tears.
What could take him so down to the point of crying that bad?
I felt as if I could burst into tears more than him,I felt like I should tell him everything but instead I felt bad for him and for the fact I made him cry with sour tears. What could happen in his past that could make him tremble only at the hearing of the word whore? Was he by any chance trying to avoid hearing this word because of something that made him so down to the point of not wanting to be named a whore? Was he humiliated? Or did Kazuko tell him something that made him think like this?
Why I'm asking myself nonsense? It's not like it's any of my business,is his business not mine! But still why I'm so worried? It's not like we're related or something. Or are we? I should just cut the crap and go home I'm not welcomed here anyways!
I think I'll get going,he doesn't seem to enjoy my presence, he's still mad...
"Don't mind him,he just can't forget some things and he's choosing to manifest for some time,I can guarantee he'll forgive you after some time."
Don't think this, it's obviously my fault,I just want to get going,or should I say get home?
"Ok if you say so but I think it's weird to go back after you just came here."
It might be weird but I have my reasons and I would like you to respect them. Can you?
"If you say so then I guess it's ok,you can go."
Walking away knowing that I was the reason someone started to cry made me feel like throwing up just at how disgusting I've become,I can't even look at myself in the mirror anymore. I walk away like nothing happened as if I just stayed and drank a coffee but it just wasn't that simple I couldn't even show some comfort which I think it's weird,coming from a soon to be killer,a cold blooded killer. I just hope he doesn't forgive me too soon I don't want him to die with a change of heart at how I'm,I want him to remember in the afterlife that I was the real whore that just didn't have the courage to recognise it and a whore that just cared about himself,one that didn't give a shit about him.
Besides, I'm the one that started all of this,why shouldn't I be judged? I'm not a prince or something I'm just a piece of filthy garbage, nothing more.
"So have you finished the task?"
I heard a non familiar voice as I think over and over at one single thing.
Who are you?
I don't get to say anything else,my mind just went blank as the last word I hear is
Master.