He had missed her more than he knew or even thought. Even in her doctor's clothes, she made the world around him disappear. Under the jacket, she had on what looked like a greenish-grey skirt suit, with a white silk blouse. She was wearing those pretty little shoes that made her legs and ankles look petite and perfect. They were as black as her eyes had been earlier.
She looked up at him again and pulled in another deep breath, placing her now balled-up fists on her hips, with the clipboard bunched up and leaning on her lower arm. If she didn't put her fists there, she would now be pounding on his chest with them, just above his heart. Beat it and hurt it for making her own heart feel pain and forcing her to remember almost forgotten memories and feelings. He made them come back so quick, it left her neck with an imagined feeling of whiplash.
"So! The dead can live." She cocked her head to the side and opened her brown eyes even wider, wiping away the almost pout and giving him a look of blame.
"Tell me. Is she here because of you? Or should I be asking if she's alive because of you?" Her accent didn't help with the sexy look she had, and the "to the point" attitude she was giving off. He loved the old Native accents. They seemed so soft and demanding at the same time.
"OH, Mr. Gairett is the one that saved Miss Velori. She and him have been seein each other." Anne gave a wink at Tayen and finished with, "If you know what I mean?"
Gairett cringed when reality set in, and he remembered where he was, and who just said what she said. He slowly and stiffly, with wide eyes of disbelief, turned to Anne and said, "Anne. . ." He gave the best smile he knew how without it looking like a grimace and finished, "Can you excuse the doctor and me? I have some. . ." He was trying hard not to do what he was picturing. Which was intertwining his fingers together around her small little neck and strangling her, until the tight little bun on her head, fell loose. Smiling bigger he finished with. ". . . questions I'd like to ask her. I think the house should know of her wellbeing anyway, and not be kept in alarm for too long. Don't you think?"
"OH MY! Your right, how selfish of me to keep them in worry. I was just waitin on . . . well, I don't know. Thank you for remindin me. Again, Dr. Hok'ee, you've not only my thanks but many others as well. Thank you."
She was hurrying out the doors before Tayen could say or ask anything. This was exactly what Gairett wanted. The little horrible woman was trying her hardest to get him killed. He had no idea the capabilities of the small sorceress at his side, and he didn't want a front-row seat to her anger show.
What was it that had him surrounded by women that needed classes in temper management?
"Ms. Sorenson is fine, health-wise. I see no brain damage and other than the..." She paused a fraction of a second and then continued, "animal bite on her neck, and loss of water, she is healthy. Please, come to my office, I want to show you something on her charts." She turned and started to walk, so, Gairett followed.
They walked for a while in silence. Gairett tried many times to read her thoughts but failed at every turn. He also knew she was aware and could feel him trying to trespass into her mind. She said nothing and didn't look irritated, but he didn't continue in the endeavor.
They went through two elevators, down a flight of stairs, and into another wing of the hospital that led them through a covered bridge between the buildings. It wasn't very high, but you could see the mountains in the background, the gardeners, and many cars down below. She swiped the card that was attached to her side, over a piece of plastic, and waited for the light to go green before the door swung open and they walked through yet another door. The click of her shoes on the tile was so loud Gairett had to lower the base volume around him, turning it into a slight tick, tick, tick, in the back of his head.
"What happened to her Gairett? Did Hale do that? She almost died; you know. Then what would you have done? Found another hole to crawl into? The only reason she's alive is because of her will and something else." She glanced at him from the corners of her eyes. "It's what I'm wanting to talk to you about."
They were turning another corner as the tile changed to carpet.
"I would have stayed, Tayen. There would have been no reason to go back. I dealt with my grief my way, and I do not appreciate you mocking me on it." She stopped at another door and pulled out a set of keys and turned the lock. She gestured for him to go in.
He walked in first and she turned the light on behind him before shutting and locking the door again.
"Now what exactly, did we have to go through that giant maze for? You said something about the-"
"WHEN, Gairett?"
"I'm sorry? When what?" Shock swam through him. He didn't know what he did that would explain her yelling. He was at a loss. One second it was fine, and the next her face was flushed, and her eyes were full of tears demanding to overspill. It brought Gairett standing straight again.
He had begun to lean on her desk, which was in the middle of the small room, and covered in papers. There wasn't a spot on the wall that wasn't covered with file cabinets, bookshelves, and books. On the side of her desk was a bundle of flowers. The same that was lying on the desk in Velori's room. Tayen must have been the one to put them there, not Anne as he had first believed.
"WHEN?" Again, she interrupted his train of thought and let out a short sigh. "When did you wake up, Gairett? Huh?"
He opened his mouth to answer her, but she silenced him with her words.
"Were you even gonna tell me? Were you even gonna try and find me to tell me? Oh no, I bet you went straight to her Doppelganger. Not to me, NO, but to her. Oh, precious Melisa." She was being haughty now, smothering her words with poisoned honey. "What about ME? You fucking jerk! Did I even cross your mind? Was I even a glimpse of a shadow in that head of yours? Here I am, staying HERE," she pointed down with her hand, and with her other, she flung the clipboard at him and then placed her fist on her hip. "In this godforsaken place, called America, when I could be off, looking for new things, in other places. Do you know how bad I wanted to travel, Gairett? How bad I wanted to find cures in jungles. Maybe do something with this life, in MY life. But nooooo, oh no, I stay here. I wait for you." She pointed at him.
"I never asked you to wait. It is not my fault you missed out on doing certain things, simply because-"
"THAT'S RIGHT GAIRETT. Nothing is ever YOUR fault. Oh no, you're the beautiful son, who loves dear Melisa. You could never do anything wrong. You . . . Prick. And who is this chick anyway? How long have you and she been sharing beds?" She paused again. Her chest was rising and falling fast, so she took in a deep breath and with a lower voice continued. "Is she good? Is she better than me? She fucking better be! I didn't waste my life, to be tossed off like a biscuit, simply because some other human looks like Melisa. Why is that anyway? Can you explain that at least? Or why her birth certificate says twenty-three when she's really over a millennium old? She's not her Gairett. SHE"S NOT! I've checked, I've done everything I can to prove it. It's not her."
She bowed her head and was whispering now. "Do I not mean anything to you? Does the fact that I waited for you for years, decades, not matter? Does the fact that I love you, not matter at all? If I knew or thought you didn't care about me anymore I would have ended it a long time ago. It would have saved me a lot of hurt. I could have at least been somewhat happy with Hale. I could have been with him until I ended it anyway. At least I knew him wanting me was to curb his own loneliness. I knew he didn't want me. And I didn't want him. I wanted you. And so, I waited. I waited, just to find that you don't want me after all."
She pulled her arms around herself and was holding them, as she turned to the side. Her back was bent over as if she were trying to mend the pain in her chest. Her mass of hair fell to the side, throwing up a slight scent, towards Gairett.
As soon as it hit him, his body went rigid, and his mind went back to a time when they were making love in a cave, under a waterfall. He could hardly see anything, besides the early morning light that fed through the fall. There was a slight mist of fog on the ground, and he remembered smelling her hair and feminine scent mixed in with the scent of the moisture, and dirt. Her perfect body was under him. He could still feel her cold wet skin clinging to his, which was hot and dry. He could feel the pressure of her breasts when her nipples went hard. She was satiny, soft, and intoxicating. He remembered her hair the most. It was scattered wildly behind and above her, in every direction. It stuck to the ground and her skin like it meant to root them to the spot.
He could still taste the sweetness of it, right now, as he watched it hover over her back. Watching the rise and fall of her chest again was making it hard for him to keep the memory locked down where it needed to be at this moment. He didn't need to be thinking of how milky soft her skin was on the back of her neck. Or how rapid her breathing got when he trailed kisses up her spine. He shuddered at the intensity of the feelings.
Tayen turned then and looked back up at him. Her lapel fell forward showing him her name tag. 'Dr. Tayen Hok'ee'.
"Hok'ee? Are you meaning abandoned? Is that how you felt?" Guilt, apologies, hurt, and so much more welled up inside of him.
Hok'ee meant abandoned in Navajo and the fact that she would use something so personal like that as a last name throughout the years struck his heart. It also told him how much his leaving had hurt her.
"I didn't mean for it to feel like abandonment, Tayen." He was trying desperately to break the awkwardness of the moment and failing miserably. He sighed deeply, preparing to answer her many questions. "No, Tayen. I never once forgot you. Never. And I never meant for you to feel left behind. You were the first I thought of when I woke. It was breaking my heart to think you were dead. The thought of you not living, not existing. It hurt more than I would truly like to admit. You have no idea how happy it made me when Hale told me you were still here, still beating death."
He was still shaking and hard from the graphic images he was fighting to keep at bay.
Laughing lightly, he continued, "I'm not sleeping with Velori. I just. . . I just feel like I have to take care of her, like I have to protect her. I feel like I have to protect someone."
He walked over and moved a small clump of hair that had fallen in her face. It was the same clump that always fell. Him doing that small gesture tore at her because she missed that one particular habit of his the most. He tucked it behind her ear, and his fingers skimmed her cheek.
She couldn't take it anymore. That did it. That small touch, that small gesture, pushed her overboard. She could control the demon in her if he stayed away. The feelings in her could be kept chained by distance. But that small friction of skin-to-skin crumbled the thin thread that was holding everything in place. Her control shattered.