I don't know how long I waited for the sun to be highest in the sky. The old oak was deep in the woods. I played there as a child, and only Neville knew that. But apparently, he told Robin. It wasn't fair she dodged the blade, I thought, so the heaviness of my own was a comfort in my hand. I stayed on my guard waiting for her, wanting to surprise her. My hand inconspicuously tucked in my coat holding the dagger.
But in the end, she surprised me.
"Marianne." I gasped and turned, pulling out the dagger to strike, but she moved before I could really be sure it was her.
Like that, the dagger wasn't in my hands anymore. "You think you're the first person to try and surprise attack me?"
My mouth forgot to make words. My breath was heavy from how fast my frightened heart was pounding. I watched her, seeing her in the sun for the first time.
I couldn't see her face under the shadow of her green hood. But her dark hair pooled out like a waterfall.
"It's the middle of the day," I said finally. "What kind of person has to hide their face like that in the middle of the day?"
She reached up to pull off her hood, but before she could, I crumpled to the ground and cried. Robin knelt and pulled me close and I was shocked at the strength of her arms.
"Marianne," she whispered. I looked up at her and into her eyes--large and dark. Like a doe. I reached to touch her cheek.
Her skin was so, so soft. "Don't touch me. You lied," I said, pushing her off.
She scooted back. "Okay," she said. "I'm sorry."
"Kill me then," I said. "Is that why you wanted me here?"
She looked taken aback, and shook her head. "No, of course not."
"Then why?" Taking a shaky inhale, Robin admitted, "Because I knew you'd be alone when you shouldn't be."
Enraged, I opened my mouth to yell, but Robin held up a hand. "Let me explain, and afterwards, you can scream at me all you want to if it will help."
"How do I know you're not lying?"
"You don't. But I knew you'd likely try to kill me and I came here unarmed."
She pulled the dagger out and, without moving her gaze from mine, threw it to the side, letting it roll down the hill.
I admit, reader, that I was not the most rational of youths. But this was the first time I decided to wait before acting. I let her speak even though I wasn't ready to believe a word she said. After a pause, she continued. "I was supposed to die this morning. I made my peace with it. I'm young, but believe me, Marianne, I've lived ten terrible lifetimes in the span of eighteen years."
Her eyes were rimmed with red. "Neville turned himself in. Why? I have no fucking idea. It was stupid. But I have my suspicions." She looked back at me. "When he was arrested, he let me out. He brought a forged key with him to let me out before distracting the guards so I could escape. He always said he'd do it if I was brought to Pearl. I sent him a message to tell him to just let me go. He had a daughter and a life. And what am I? A girl who steals what she can and happened to be in the wrong place at the wrong time a few times over."
Her voice rose as she spoke. "He loved you, Marianne. You need to know that. And he knew if anyone found out of his involvement with the prince's death, you would be at risk of torture for information. I think that's why he did it. Not for me." I'd calmed down, but silent tears still trailed down my face. "I told you I knew you'd be alone. In the next town, I have a friend with a tavern. I wanted to bring you there."
Did I hear her right? "I try to kill you and you ask me to get tossed up on ale with you?"
Robin smirked. "Sounds like the beginning of a long friendship to me."
Whatever I was feeling, I was numb to it. Be it hatred of her. Fear. Apprehension. I didn't feel anything other than heavy fog. An ale with anyone sounded like an escape. Even her.
"Alright."
The sun had gone down by the time we stood to leave the hill. Robin belonged in the sunset. The afternoon sun made her look ordinary, but the orange light of the dying day shimmered in her black hair.
Robin led me to the packed city of London, which was quite a trek away from Pearl, but I hardly noticed the time passing while we walked. She kept a cloak over her head but assured me, "Cities are so busy that no one notices you."
So, while I thought she would want to sneak through back alleys to avoid detection, she walked confidently into the moving swarms of people. I bit my tongue to avoid shouting her name but followed her. She walked fast and with purpose, but her face was concentrated. As if she was trying to escape a life-or-death situation.
We finally reached a side street, which Robin swerved into before resting her hand on the wall and hunching over, shrouding her face with her palm. "Did something happen?"
"Stop talking!" she snapped, breathing shallowly and quickly. I did. She finally straightened and closed her eyes before exhaling slowly. "I'm sorry. I should have warned you. I don't do well in busy places. It's like my mind shuts down and I lash out. It doesn't always happen. But I should have known. I've been sitting in a cell for so long. It was a shock. It used to be much worse. I'd completely shatter."
I listened, and realized, for the first time, how human she was. Like Neville. Like me. The woman we were told to run in fear of for two years. She was flawed. Not evil. Hesitantly, I reached for her and made sure she saw my hand before it met hers. I squeezed. "I tried to kill you. We'll call it even."
Color retouched her face and she smiled. "Can I stand here for a second? The tavern is right here but I need a moment. You can go inside. I'll be fine."
I sat on a barrel. "I think I'll stay."
In Robin and my history, we haven't had many silent moments where we could simply be. That's the life we chose for ourselves. Robin was still young. Still far from the legend.
"Why do you think busyness exhausts you?"
"You're the first to ask me that. I'm not sure. That's the truth. Ever since I could remember, I've been like this. My mother was understanding. Others weren't. I couldn't play with others easily because if it became too much, I'd reflexively have an outburst. It was never because of something someone did. Or to get others to calm down. I was never able to make many friends, and it was for the better. I preferred being in the forest alone. Every morning, I'd wake up and go to the forest, and I'd be so angry if I needed to break that routine!"
She was smiling now. "But my mother made sure to clear our mornings as much as she could. My father always told her, 'That boy isn't normal!' But she didn't much care. I was normal to me. That's what mattered"
I blinked. "Boy?"
She sighed. "Yes, that's what they told me I was, but I disagreed." She looked at me and raised an eyebrow. "Is that an issue?"
It took me a moment to realize she was afraid of how I'd react, because her question initially confused me. I was curious, of course. But I vigorously shook my head. "No. No! I just never would have guessed."
She smiled. "I'll take that as a compliment. Several years of different healers and witches made sure I grew up as much a woman as I could. I told you. My mother was understanding. When my father took issue, he disappeared under strange circumstances. That's how she was. I mean, not everything could be altered, but I'm not sure I'd want to completely change anyways. Even if given the chance. Can't explain why not exactly. I'm comfortable, and something stubborn in me wants to prove there's more than one form of woman."
"Is this your way of telling me that the real reason you're a fugitive is because you whipped your cock out in front of an abbey?"
Robin shot her gaze into mine, and pursed her lips before quite seriously saying, "No. I did it in front of the Archbishop of Canterbury."
"Seriously?"
She erupted into a fit of giggles. "No, of course not. I wish. You should see the look on your face! Come on, let's go inside."
The tavern door creaked when we stepped inside. I'd never been to a tavern, but this wasn't what I imagined. For the most part, no one was there except a few pairs of people chatting quietly at the tables. A drunk fiddle player slid his bow too heavy on his instrument's strings, causing a screeching wail every few seconds.
Robin cringed the first time and shot a glare at him.
"You escaped!" the man behind the bar said with glee sparkling in his eyes, but they quickly dimmed when he saw the severity in Robin's face. "What happened? Who's this?"
"Will, you might want to hush your voice for this one. My bounty has tripled. Do you have a table we can speak at?" He warily glanced at me.
Robin nodded. "She's a friend."
We sat at an aged wood table behind the bar. He sat down with us and set down three mugs of ale. "What happened?"
"Neville took my place," Robin said, voice shaking. "This is his-"
Another screech interrupted her.
"Can someone take that thing away from Alan? He clearly can't be trusted with it."
Will laughed. "You can try. He's surprisingly quick, that one. At least he's not singing again."
"He's actually improving at that. Anyways. This is—"
"Marianne," he said, eying me. At this point, I'm not surprised yet another stranger knows who I am.
Robin quickly followed with, "Marianne, this is Will. My nephew. You can trust him."
I shook my head. "How did Neville know so many people?"
"He didn't," Robin responded. "He brought people he didn't know together. He was the one who killed the prince. It was an accident and we both happened to be there. We were only trying to steal a bundle of coins from the treasury to feed a family the prince refused to hear that morning. Their home had burned down and they needed shelter and food. We took care of the shelter. Neville insisted on going, and it was daft, really. We were caught."
I stood. "Well, I'm tired of being serious." I gulped down the rest of the ale and went out from behind the bar.
Robin looked alarmed. "Marianne!" she said with a gasp. I'll never forget that. A woman who seemed she couldn't be caught off guard by anything was certainly speechless when I jumped on one of the tables and danced to the out-of-tune, screeching fiddle. Her wide eyes of concern turned to wide eyes of disbelief.
I heard Will hoot in amusement. "Don't break the table!" I spun in circles and the hem of my skirt swished against the wood. The table creaked like it was being rudely awoken. It felt like flying. Flying after being restricted in a tiny room in a tiny town for so long. I was free and could go wherever I wanted to, starting with the top of that table.
Alan jolted out of a daze and seemed to be playing faster. Still not well, but it was easier to fly with.
I reached for Robin. "Come up here." She was taken aback.
"You jest."
"No, I'm not. You lived today. Now live. Neville didn't sacrifice himself for you regret him."
After a moment, she took my hand and hopped onto the table. "I don't know what to do."
"Neither do I!" We danced miserably, but laughed anyways. I grabbed her hand and twirled her, and she did the same to me. Her skin, even as it was increasingly clammy with sweat, felt like warm silk. When her hair swished, I smelled pine and forest dust.
She was the most life I had ever known. Neville would have wanted me to know her, I thought. It was no wonder why he wanted to preserve her life. In a sea of blank faces, Robin was the wind that blew the waves. She made everything come to life, and I never wanted to feel anything less again.