.....
The sun's horizon peeked through the windows. It was morning already. Her eyes felt sore, her throat had gone hoarse, and that was when everything that happened last morning came gushing in. Their intimacy, the pleasure, the pain, the hunger and everything. She smiled a bitter smile because after everything they had done. They still didn't make love. How could all of these things happen to her? Where had she gone wrong? Did she perhaps anger God unknowingly and this is the punishment she gets?
Just when she was about to stand up to pull open the curtains. She noticed a huge and strong arm wrapped around her waist. He was here! On her bed! Holding her! He eventually came!! She couldn't believe her eyes!! Or was this just another dream? When she realized it was not a dream, she snuggled closer to him to savour this moment. This feeling of holding him. She wanted to cherish it. She didn't want him to let go.
She stared at his sleeping face and a bitter smile curved up her lips. She kissed him on the cheek with all the emotions she could give. Her fingers traced lines from his nose down to his bare chest.
"You won't give me your heart and also your body too huh?" She muttered but he was sleeping so he couldn't hear her.
"Do I not matter to you at all? Well, I'll wait patiently for the day when you give me your all. I'll wait for that day Alex."
"Love can make you do silly things you know? I was so confident that I won't fall for you, but look at me now, pleading to be loved. What did you do to me Alex? I fell for you from the first day I set my eyes on you. I can't even bear to let you out of my sight. You distract me every single second when I'm with you. You also distract me when I'm not with you. During these few days, all, everything I've been thinking of, is you. I can't get you out of my head even if I wanted to. It's because I love you. I love you my dear husband." She whispered softly in his ear. She moved to place a soft kiss on his lips but she couldn't do it because his eyes fluttered open.
"What are you doing?" He asked her in a hoarse and utterly sexy voice. He was not even doing anything to seduce her, just his voice was enough for her to lose all of her senses.
"I...I was just trying to wake you up." She lied.
"With a kiss?" He asked and a blush crept on her face.
"Yes. Can't I wake my husband with a kiss."
"Don't do that again. Ever." He said. His voice was calm but she knew what was behind that calm voice. If she didn't know about what had happened to him in the past, she would have been fuming in anger by now, but she knew his heart was still in pain. She didn't want to add more pain to his healing heart!!
"Why...I'm not allowed to touch you?" She asked. She knew she shouldn't be saying all of this but she wanted to know the whole truth. She wanted to clarify all the things that happened the previous day.
"We shouldn't be talking about this right now." He said.
"Why shouldn't we? I'm your wife and I'm entitled to know everything Alexander."
"I'll tell you everything eventually but not now. I promise." He said.
"Why can't you tell me now huh? Is it too much to share your pains with your wife. I'm your wife and we'll share all of the pains and joys together."
"But I don't want to share my pains with you. It's not something you'd want to know."
Elen shut her eyes tightly. She was starting to get angry. Why couldn't he share his pains with her? She's his wife for goodness sake!! She didn't want to talk about this anymore because she knew the ending wouldn't be good but she found herself talking back at him again.
"Fine...you don't want to share your pains with me. I understand.....but those things you did to me yesterday, did you do them because you thought I was Bianca?" She asked. She just hoped that he wouldn't say what would anger her.
"No. I knew you were Helena. It was during the last minute I lost myself and all of my rationality, I thought you were Bianca because you tasted just like her." He said and Elen felt relieved but her mind reflected to the last statement. She tasted just like her? How was that even possible? They were two different people and they didn't even have a connection so how could they taste the same? Maybe he only thought of that because he was still drowning in the past and he wasn't able to move on. Yes! That would be the only reasonable explanation.
"So, you said you'll tell me everything about yourself soon. How soon is that?" She asked.
"Very soon. I promise." He said and Elen sighed, at least she would know everything about him maybe she'll be able to find a way to heal his heart.
"But I want you too know one more thing. I'm a very dangerous person when I've lost all of my rationality, so that's why I'm pleading with you now. When you see me in the state you saw me in yesterday, please go far away..don't even come closer, Helena...just stay very far away from me if y -"
He couldn't complete his sentence because she had already cut him off with a short but sweet kiss.
"I would never leave you in any state Alexander. I'm your wife and I'll stay by your side no matter what. Besides, you didn't hurt me yesterday and I trust that you won't." She said and the man heaved a sigh.
"I don't know how I managed to control myself but I can't promise if I won't hurt you next time, so please...I'm pleading with you for the last time, don't come clo -"
"Shhh....I just told you, you wouldn't hurt me so take a chill pill and relax...okay let's stop talking about this and go take a shower. You need to clear your head. Besides, I'm hungry." She said changing the topic. There was hesitation in his eyes and he gave her one of those 'don't say I didn't warn you' look.
He eventually stood up and dashed towards the bathroom. She was right. He needed to clear his head.
In no time, he had already stepped out of the bathroom. Elen would never get enough of staring at his body. How could she? He was just too perfect!!
"Why all of the staring wife? You're making feel as if I'm not perfect enough." He teased. He knew that she was just innocently admiring his chest, but he felt the urge to tease her a bit. He wanted to lighten up her mood. He knew that she put in a lot of efforts yesterday just so they could make love to each other but he ruined everything and he was feeling guilty about it. He was depriving her of her rights over him. It was simply unfair of him. Now he was starting to think he was the one not ready yet.
"I'm only admiring my husband's perfect body."She said and he chuckled.
"Do you want to dress me, wife?" He asked and her cheeks turned light red. The scene that happened the previous day flashed in her head, where she slowly unbuttoned his coat and flung it over the room. She didn't know what was behind that boldness but it seemed to her that her boldness was gone and she was back to her normal shy self.
"No Alexander." She said, her eyes wandering the room avoiding to meet his gaze.
"Where has my bold wife disappeared to?" He said and Elen's lips curved up into a wicked smirk.
"Your bold wife is gone for the mean time, so you'll have to cope with this shy one." She said pointing to herself.
"Well, I really think I want both back....my bold and shy wife." He uttered sexily as he moved closer to her. Elen's walls were already crashing down. She couldn't let him do this to her, not when he still hasn't gotten over his past. But how could she resist him when he was moving so seductively.
He was already few inches away from her. Just one more stride and he would be standing very close to her. He pulled her close to his body and held her on the waist. He inhaled her scent and kissed her nape. How could she stop him when he was doing this?! But she can't let him lose himself too!! Thankfully, something in her steeled her resolve and she pulled away from his hold.
"Hmmm...I think I'll just get dressed. My bold wife is nowhere to be seen." He said and Elen sighed In relief.
As much as she wanted him badly. She needed to control herself till he had finally moved on from his past. She wouldn't mind how long it takes. As long as his heart was no longer void and numb...
Alexander got dressed as fast as he could and sat beside his wife who was seemingly lost in thoughts.
...