When I step through the front door of what I've come to call our home because I now live there with Victoria, I can smell it again.
The smell of home.
Not from Highland or from my forest.
No, the smell of feeling at home.
I've always had a nose for that sort of thing.
Some people say they can smell danger, but I really can.
I am surprised that I already feel more at home in this house than I ever did in Highland.
I take a deep breath through my nose and let the nice feeling of affection that it gives me flow through my body.
I didn't realize I had my eyes closed but when I open them I look straight into nearly glowing yellowish green eyes with grassy green spots around the pupils.
I stand in the hallway that connects the front door to the living room.
He stands in the doorway from the living room to the kitchen.
He looks at me like I just did something weird, something unexpected.
Okay I have to admit, smelling the air in a house that probably smells like nothing in particular is a little weird.
But that's not how he looks at me.
There is anticipation in his eyes.
I feel the weight of his gaze and want to dash up the stairs, away from under his weight.
But I'd rather stay here, frozen in time with him.
My eyes let go of his and I study the rest of him.
I estimate him almost two meters.
A lot taller than me.
He has a stubble of maybe three days.
But it is full and gives him a darker look than I think he would have had otherwise.
His skin is tanned by the sun, and his hair a dark brown.
Although some curls are permanently lightened by the sun.
Only now do I notice that he has a scar running through his right eyebrow, but apart from that, his face is intact.
I let my gaze slide over his full lips, something without understanding why, makes me feel naughty.
Even though we might be five meters apart, it feels like I can touch him.
Then I come back to his gaze.
He looks at me with dead eyes now.
Merciless. It doesn't scare me but instead it stings.
I don't quite understand why.
What do I expect from him?
Why should I care?
I don't care, I tell myself.
Maybe I would have walked up to him otherwise, I might even have introduced myself...
But it's clear that he doesn't want me to.
I walk through the living room to the stairs.
And disappear to my room to study.
But I can't get it out of my head, what is this?
Am I in love?
I laugh at myself.
I've never been in love but surely I didn't fall in love with someone I've never spoken a word with?
That sounds ridiculous.
I try to study but I can't keep my attention on the subject.
That's something new, I've always been able to shake things off when I wanted to study or read.
Maybe I should talk to him, introduce myself.
He must be floating through my mind because he is a mystery, if I solve it I should be able to concentrate again.
I don't know which room is his but without a doubt I walk to his door.
He walked past my door this morning when I opened it, so he must be in one of the three rooms around the corner on the left.
Or in the attic.
I may have unconsciously heard him come down the stairs, but I'm sure he's sleeping in the attic.
I've been standing in front of his door for five minutes, but I still don't dare knock.
When I turn to walk back, the door swings open.
I turn back around, facing him.
This is awkward.
Yet I don't really feel uncomfortable.
When I think we're going to play our old game again, he opens his mouth.
'It's better if you go.'
What. It's not what I expected and it's strange.
Why is it better if I go?
I extend my hand and without thinking I grab his.
I wanted to shake it, I wanted to say 'I'm Mara'.
But when my fingers touch his hand they start to tingle with pleasure.
It is like electric pulses run through my fingers and hands.
I feel it go up into my arm and then make a warm buzzing sound in my chest.
A sound that only I hear.
Immediately my eyes shoot from my hand to his eyes.
For a moment I see the same pleasure in his eyes.
But then he pulls his hand away and his eyes grow cold and horrified.
'I told you to go.'
It's an order.
His husky voice sends shivers down my spine.
Although his tone and words are unpleasant, I want to hear him say more.
But I turn and walk down the stairs.
I feel like a fool and a loser.
Victoria had warned me, I had seen with my own eyes what he was capable of in broad daylight on university grounds.
Still, I had to go to him.
I shake it off.
And try to sleep.
After a long restless tossing. I fall into an even more restless sleep.
He walks up to me, his eyes radiate something I don't know but it suits him.
He approaches me, much more purposefully than I expect.
I take a small step back and my calf touches the bed, my bed.
He lays his hands on my shoulders, I shiver from his touch.
'Turn around' commands his dark, full voice, but more in a teasing way than dominating, although I don't dare say no.
I'm wearing a gray-blue dress.
Underneath a white blouse that covers my neck and neck and wrists.
The dress reaches my ankles.
I wear white stockings until below my knees.
It's summer and warm, I don't wear my shoes and I wear underpants sewn from a thinner fabric.
In a model I've seen my sisters wear.
Not a model I've ever seen in a store.
But much shorter, two triangles more than pants.
It is a lot more comfortable in the summer.
The dress has no model, it runs straight down.
That's appropriate, I'm not married yet and my dad isn't around so I'm not wearing a corset.
Just a supported top for my breasts.
But that's all neatly hidden under my summer dress.
I should not be provoking anyone.