He tilts his head to the side. "I observe you. I know your mind, I understand how your body acts without the need of command from your mind." I am surprised, how can he know this without even knowing me properly. Even Elrim took time to understand this. Yet this male of mine found it quite easy to do so.
"You see mate, I see beneath your walls. I can see every shake of your hands, every quiver of your lips, every sway of your body. You cannot hide from me." I fist my hands underneath the covers. "I felt your fear today, but you still stood your ground. Why? Why protect someone you don't even know?" His whisper slowly caressing my skin, his tone soft making me want to sink deeper into his warmth.
"It's just how I am, I can't stop myself. If I wish they deserve my protection, I will protect them with my life." He reaches forward, skimming his fingertips across my cheeks. I close my eyes, relishing in the sparks it brings. He brings his thumb to rest on my lower lip slowly swiping it downwards. I open my eyes, lust taking over my body. He looks into my eyes leaning forward.
"You intrigue me, mate," Deimos whispers to me.
Resting his forehead on mine, taking a deep breath, breathing in my scent. I do he same knowing I might never get another opportunity like this. He slowly moves back, my fingers itching o bring him.
"Do not do that again, mate. You can't protect everyone. It's a cruel world, protect yourself first." His advice sticking to me like glue.
"And what if I can't protect myself Deimos? Then what?" I am curious to know his answer. Will he assign me, personal warriors? Will, he put Ragon in charge of me? Will he..
"I am completely sure you are capable of protecting yourself. But if you cannot do do… I'll protect you, mate." My eyes widen at his answer, I did not expect that. You can expect that from your mate but not Deimos. He surprised me. Hope rises within me, maybe this can happen. Maybe we can happen.
"You at least deserve this, for…" He stops, looking straight into my eyes. "For, I cannot give you anymore." His words completely crushing the small seed of hope I wanted to grow. My lips wobble, looking away from him, towards the window in my room.
"I do not understand. Why can't you just…" A sob escapes my lips halfway.
"Care for you? Be there for you?... Love you?" He cuts off my plea, I snap my head towards him. Yes, that's what I want, it's not that hard to love someone is it?
"That is something that I can't nor will do, it's something that will never happen. So put hopes and dreams to rest, mate." Deimos voice lingers in the room, even after he is gone. His words echoing along the walls over and over again. This is my punishment, not the harshness of the whip.
The pain of my body is nothing compared to the pain of my heart.
I did not go in for training today, I do not wish to see Deimos. I need some time to think. To calm my heart down. His words from last night stirred me more than I thought they would. How do you put a wall around your heart from your mate? It's just not possible and so I must bear all the hurtfull words he hurls at me.
A pup stops my path home. She carries a flower crown in her tiny fingers and peers up at me. Her eyes sparkle whilst she shows me a wide toothless smile.
"Luna, I make you this. It be pretty, like Luna." Her bubbly voice fumbles around with words to speak correctly. She gestures for me to lower myself to the ground. I gradually kneel tilting my head towards the little creature questioning her antics. She delicately places it upon my head fiddling around with my hair.
"Thank you little one." I smile at her. A genuine smile, she made me content. This little gesture brought peace to my heart. My smile disappears to the sound of a click from a camera. I look to the side, Ragon with his phone pointing at me, mouth open and Deimos by his side, just staring at me with some sort of yearning. I bow my head down, a fervent blush creeping up my cheeks.
"Don't you think she is beautiful Alpha? I have never seen her smile like that." Ragon questions Deimos. However. He does not answer him merely keeps looking at me with those longing eyes. Not today Deimos, today you and I will not have a staring contest. I casually get up dusting my hands over my dress and clutch onto the tiny palm of the little pup.
"Come, let me take you back to the packhouse without sparing him another glance. I neither wish to see nor converse with him. Today is going to be my day. I shall focus on myself.
Dropping the little one with her mom, I hurry towards the library excited to pick out a new book to read. I haven't had many duties to do in this pack, largely cleaning, helping the females with cooking and looking after the pups. I guess that's what Luna's do. Is that what I want to do? No. I was born and trained for different purposes, definitely not this.
Swiping my fingertips along the shelves, eyes scanning for something to grab my attention. I stop midway, feeling warmth encompass my back. It is him. Can't this male just give me some time to spend alone? I gasp when he settles his hands on the shelves caging me in his arms. He takes a deep breath in sniffing my hair. He waits for me to turn around but I don't. I will not abide by his wishes.
"Turn around and look at me, mate." His voice strained as if he is controlling himself. Brushing my hair to the side baring my neck to him, he takes another deep sniff groaning his constraint. My scent is his drug and he is an addict.
"I will not repeat myself, mate." His voice growing louder. Not wanting to anger him and bring forth destruction, I turn around. Eyes meet eyes.
"Finally." He murmurs to himself. "It suits you quite well." My eyes turn questioning. What suits me well? He understands this and points to my head. "The flower crown." He answers. My eyes widen, my hands reaching to remove them. I forgot about it. He grabs my wrists stopping them from removing them.
"Don't, it suits you and me… I like it on you." My eyes enlarge. Is this a compliment me? But why? I try to get away from his arms. But this male gives me no chance to run. He keeps me caged in, encaging me within his warmth. His eyes keep darting back and forth from one eye to another, eyebrows pulled down in a frown.
"You haven't spoken a word to me today. What is the reason?" he questions me.
Is he seriously asking me this? Does he not know? I scoff turning my head. This angers him. Grabbing my chin in his hand, he turns to face him. "Don't tell me, your actions are based on our conversation last night?" I choose not to reply to him, earning a snarl in return. "Answer me." He growls.
"I do not know what you are talking about." I give him a short and frank reply,
"Do not lie to me. You will not like the consequences it will bring." He warns. I look into his eyes; he speaks the truth.