I sit on my bed. This was my home for the last five years. I do not have a family like most other girls. I have a very busy aunt who takes care of me by paying other people to take care of me. When it was time for me to go to high school, she found this school with a hostel and good reviews.
Most kids went home for weekends, I didn't. All the kids went home for holidays, except me. I stayed here all year. December holidays she will send for me two weeks after the schools closed. The first year was awkward. I wasn't sure what to tell the teachers who stayed in the hostels. At first, I considered to hide away on the school grounds for however long the holidays lasted. I was even too embarrassed to tell my friends that I do not have a home to go to.
Of course, my aunt would not have shown me away, have I managed to show up to her house. It is just that I didn't know how to get to her house at the age of fourteen. During my first year here I made a friend, Ursula who had a lot more confidence than I did. She came to know of my predicament and went to the Hostel Mother to inform her of my situation. The shorter, one-week holidays, was not much of a problem. The longer holidays some teachers would take her home for the holiday. Decembers were a problem. Most staff and teachers wanted to go away for the holidays.
By the third year I started dating Greyson, on and off. Greyson is one of four quadruplets. The other quad's girlfriends then started watching out for me. They became better friends than Ursula. Ursula started treating me coldly after she found out that Greyson likes me better than her.
Rachel puts her arm around my shoulder. I look at Rachel with tear filled eyes.
"What have I ever done to his mother?" I ask her, biting back on the sobs that threaten to come out.
"You did nothing honey, she hates all of us. She cannot stand that her precious boys want to spend more time with us than with her." Ava pipes up in front of me.
I know she is right. Marcella doesn't like even one of these girls. I like them all. They have different personalities. They are interested in different things. We are a good mix of odd and interesting.
I also know why Marcella thinks I am easy and cheap. I dated Greyson on and off because I didn't want to hurt Ursula's feelings. Ursula was kinder when I wasn't dating Greyson. It wasn't long before I saw the pattern and decided to cling to my own happiness and date Greyson officially.
I was at Greyson's house one weekend when we went swimming in the indoor swimming pool. Greyson kissed me and took off my bikini top. He would fondle me and kiss my neck. His parents were away for the weekend, supposedly. We spent most of the day swimming. Before long he got rid of my bikini bottoms also. When things got hot and heavy, he got out of the swimming pool and pulled me out also. We grabbed our towels and headed to his bedroom. We showered together and he left the shower before me. I took my time. Warming up in the hot shower. When I exited the shower Greyson's mother stood in the doorway. She gave me the most disapproving look I have ever received. She told me that having a Morton baby will not secure me a wealthy future and left the room. When I stepped out of the bathroom, I saw the pack of condoms Greyson went to get when he left before me. I was mortified. There was no way she didn't see the condoms. I'm sure if it wasn't for this incident Greyson and I would have had sex that weekend. We didn't. I remained a virgin for another year after that.
"She calls me a cheap and easy" I sob into Rachels neck.
"I'm sure that is the way she refers to all of us, Ellie" Rachel says in her soft soothing voice. It is odd to hear Rachel say something unsavoury about someone. She usually only focusses on speaking positively about other people.
"Don't let it bother you" Bailey finally chips in. Usually, Bailey wouldn't really care about others. No, that is not entirely fair. Bailey cares about others. She just cares more about herself. She is very vain and self-absorbed. I like her anyway.
"I cannot let it NOT bother me, guys. Whatever she told Greyson made him break up with me!" The silence in the room is almost deafening. Bailey is the first to speak.
"That cannot be. You two have been together for years." She looks shocked to her core.
"Yeah, I know." I murmur. The room goes silent. There is really nothing anyone can do or say to make this any easier. It is what it is. It is a breakup and I am left to be alone again.
I get up from the bed and close my suitcase. I set it down on the floor on its wheels and pull the handle out. I take my bedding in my hands and turn to the other girls.
"Its time to go now. We need to clear out of this hostel within the next ten minutes." I can hear how there is no emotion in my voice. I know I look like hell. This is me coping.
The others get up and take their luggage. We were lucky to be able to share a room all these years. Actually, we weren't lucky, I spent a full hour talking to the placement clerk when we were placed in the hostels. After negotiating the pros and cons of letting four girls who are already on good terms, share a room, the clerk finally let us group together. She tried to throw in a few terms and conditions which I laughed off and told her we will discuss the grounds for her dissatisfactions should the time come. She was floored. Negotiations were always one of my strongest virtues.
I have worked very hard to make sure I have what it takes to get my law degree after school. I am accepted to the best university and everything is set for me to start when the universities open next year. Right now, I feel defeated. It is a feeling I am not used to and it feels terrible. I love Greyson.
We set our luggage on the pathway just before the steps. The school is quiet and there is no traffic on the pathway. We are the lasts to leave.
As the four of us sit on the two park benches facing each other under the tree, Rachel starts talking.
"Ellie, you know Greyson cannot live without you. He will come crawling back as soon as he can. I am sure his mother has something to do with this breakup. If it came from Greyson alone you would have known if something was wrong between the two of you during the last few weeks." The look she gives me is sympathetic.
I know what she says is true. Greyson and I have split up and gotten together a few times in the past. I just didn't see this time coming.
I nod at Rachel. She is right. The others agree with Rachel and they each offer their opinion. I have stopped listening to them. My heart aches. I do not want to puzzle it out. I do not want to contemplate the outcome of different actions. I just want to sit here until everyone left. Greyson was supposed to take me home. I'm sure I need to make alternative plans now.
I hear a vehicle approaching from a distance. I look down the long pathway to where the school's entrance is when I see Ryan's Jeep come around the corner. Ryan is an aggressive driver. I am not fond of being in the car while he drives.
The girls get up and grab their bags. Rachel leaves her bags and walks to where Ryan parks his Jeep. Ryan gets out and grabs Rachel to kiss and hug her. He then walks to get Rachel's bags and loads them into the Jeep while the other two girls load their own. He comes back and takes my bags. I get up and look at him. His eyes seem apologetic but he doesn't say a word. He loads my bags into the Jeep and holds the door open for me. I get into the back seat with Bailey and Ava.
There should have been an atmosphere of excitement in the vehicle but there is not. It is quiet. Everyone is busy with their own thoughts. Ryan pulls away and makes his way out of the school grounds. We will not set foot here again any time soon. I thought it would feel different. All I feel is extreme heartache.