James' POV
After lunch, I helped Carramel to the bathroom and got her cleaned up, making sure to kiss her on the forehead on the way out. She told me she was going to the coffee shop after school with Enza and Taylor, and that's how I ended up walking to the pack house with a red faced Alex.
We've been talking about school and such when I finally break and bring it up, slightly annoyed with his awkwardness. "Alex, get over it, it's not like you saw or something." I exclaim suddenly interrupting his stiff telling of what happened in this English class.
His cheeks heat up further as I bring it up, but thankfully he answers me. "I know! I know. That's not the problem at all." He tells me, turning his head away to look at the street as we walk down the sidewalk.
"Then what is it, because you've been acting weird since lunch, man. I'm sorry if we freaked you out." I apologize, my heart squeezing at the idea of loosing my friend over something I had shamefully enjoyed.
"No it's not... you're not.... I liked it? I thought it was hot." Alex admits and my head snaps to him so fast I stumble over my fucking feet. His face is tomato red beneath his tanned skin.
"You did?" I ask him, unsure and he nods turning to look at me, but my face is no better, flaming beneath the afternoon sun.
"Is that weird? I feel like that's weird." He says cracking a smile.
I laugh and throw my arm around his shoulder. "Hell, I guess we'll be weird together!" I tease happily. He laughs along, shoving me off of him with a grin.
"So how did it happen? Like how did you find out?" He asks, eyes curious now that the awkward part is out of the way.
I try to combat my smile but it's impossible. "This morning, Jessica had felt the need to come up to me and basically tried to ignore Carramel as a way of asking me out." I start and he nods.
"I remember that, she looked super freak out." Alex recalls, his eyes squinting as he thinks back.
"Exactly, so I took her to the library before first bell for some quiet time and cuddles to calm her down, and in the corner of the library where anyone could find us, she started giving me a hickey. And I don't know man, the possibility of getting caught and the adrenaline rush it gave was so hot."
"Holy hell, man." Alex breathes, eyes darkening in a way that has me curious.
I nod in agreement. "And as the day went on we just got more and more bold, until what you saw at lunch."
We finally arrive in the yard of the pack house, weaving through the trees and the garden aimlessly. "Do you think you'll ever go further?" Alex asks but I barely hear him as I catch sight of a car in the parking lot. A dark blue Ford with a picture of a wolf on the tags. I stop in my tracks immediately, adrenaline pumping up to high so quickly, Sloan is immediately awake.
'James what's wrong? What's going on?' He asks, panicked, but once he catches sight of what I'm looking at he stills, terror flooding my mind on both sides.
"James?! James look at me. Why did you stop? Are you okay?" Alex asks, and when I focus my eyes, I see him waving his hand in front of my face. I look at him clear fear in my eyes as I answer him.
"He's here Alex. Why is he here? Why didn't anyone tell me Father was coming to visit?" I ask, voice barely above a whisper as I look at my best friend for answers I don't expect him to have. And he doesn't, instead his face pales along with mine and I see worry scatter across his features.
"I don't know James." He answers and I know he doesn't but I can't help but hope that one day someone will have enough time with me to sit down and explain why I deserve this. I shake my head at myself and Alex to help clear it before rolling my shoulders back and doing what I always have to when Dad's around. Become a different person entirely.
"Alexander, please go to Carramel and let her know, I won't be able to do movie night. Tell her what you have to, but I won't be able to see her for the next couple of days." I tell him, voice becoming flat as I put my bag on two shoulders and begin to straighten my clothes. It's too late to change them but maybe I can make them look decent enough to pass an inspection.
He pauses, looking at me with a look of distaste I haven't seen from him since I ate sour cream on a muffin in the eleventh grade. "James are you sure about that? Carramel's birthday is in-"
"Please don't make me repeat myself, Alex." I tell him, finally feeling decent enough to take a deep breath, leaving an angry Alex behind in the yard. I know what he's saying is true, and with how sensitive Carramel is, I probably shouldn't do this, but control is a powerful thing, something that can be flipped on in an instant, even over a person.
I walk up the steps across the porch and steel myself before going inside. I follow the loud and happy voices into the living room, stopping in the doorway as my throat gets dry. There he is. My Dad is sitting in the middle of the room, like always all smiles and charm. I don't see my Mom anywhere, nor do I smell her, and that just made this visit ten times worse.
I stand there patiently, not interrupting, waiting to be spoken to before opening my mouth. After about twenty minutes, he finally turns to me and his cold steel eyes study my body looking for anything out of place, something that will tell him, I'm not man enough to have the position of Alpha.
I can feel Sloan whimper as the man stands up and makes his way closer to me, and I wish I had the option of hiding behind someone but that will only earn me a punishment I never want to relive.
He stops in front of me, a wide proud smile in his face but his eyes, it's the fucking ice in his eyes that makes me want to cower and shy away from his gaze but I hold strong, too scared to show any weakness in front of this man.
"You grew you hair out." He says as greeting, and his voice is rough and weathered when he speaks. Fuck. Fuck. Why did I get so comfortable to let my hair out when thats one of the things I can't fucking hide. I give him a practiced smile as I answer, panicking on the inside in response.
"Yes, if you don't like it, I can get it cut." I say, trying my hardest not to look away. I realize my mistake too late and I want to cry at the way his eyes flash a cold grey that brings so many flash backs, I almost allow my eyes to reflect my fear, but I don't. I can't afford to slip up any more.
"May I be excused to do homework?" I ask as evenly as I can, trying to get away from him and the smell of cloves and earth that makes me nauseous.
"Why don't I come and see if there's something I can help you with, son?" He offers, a fake smile plastered on to his face as he does. My shoulders stiffen harder as I smile back and force myself to nod.
"Yes, thank you." I answer. Ever the actor for this never ending show. Always told what to do, how to dress how to act. Anything that deviates from the straight line he's painted for me is wrong and disgusting.
We can't have a prissy bitch running this pack.
I turn on my heel to walk away and I feel my father clasp onto my shoulder as he follows me, his iron grip making tears fall into my eyes, but I make sure they don't escape down my cheeks.
You're weak, you can't even take a couple words, a few hits.
I walk up the stairs making sure to keep steady even paces, until I reach my floor that holds my suite and the parent's suite for when they're here.
If I could kill that faggot wolf of yours without killing you, I would. But you're my only son. Pity.
I brace myself when I open the door to my room, stiffly walking inside to neatly set my stuff on the table, thanking every Goddess in the world that I decided to clean up my room this morning in hopes of Carramel coming over.
You don't even have a Mate. You're pathetic and no rightful son of mine.
I turn to face my father, the man that has singlehandedly ruined my life.