Carramel's POV
I cling onto James as he takes me up the stairs, terrified that if I let him go again, he'll disappear into that dead cold person I had found in his room only thirty minutes ago. His arms are tight around me as I struggle to breath through my sobs and my bruised neck, the little air I'm about to snag is filled with James' scent that I suck in greedily.
I feel him stop but I don't look up from my spot under his chin, hoping that I can trust him again to take care of me. He opens the door and steps through closing it behind him softly before walking over and sitting on what I think is a bed.
Opening one of my eyes, I'm surprised to see my room instead of his, and I can't help but over think about what this could mean. Maybe even though his father is gone, he thinks he should reject me before my birthday can even arrive. I begin to panic until I hear soft soothing words coming from the Alpha above me.
"Shhh, Carramel, baby it's okay. I got you now. You're safe with me. I'm not going to let anything happen to you again." He tells me, voice soft as he starts to rock us side to side slowly. My whimpers and sniffles finally start to slow down enough for me to untuck myself from James' body.
"I was so scared." I admit, voice shaking is fear. My lips start wobbling again as I think about how I almost lost my life today.
"Shh bean, I know. I'm so sorry I put you in that position." He tells me voice full of regret and remorse.
"I should have just listened to you." I tell him, worried that he was angry that I didn't stay away like he told Alex.
He shakes his head and tilts my chin up with his finger tips to tell me softly, "I'm glad you didn't, bean. If you hadn't, I would be miserable. I'm free of that bastard forever now, all because of you." And the way his eyes gloss over in happy tears has me finally settling down a little bit.
He looks away from me for a moment, taking the time to survey my room and I cringe, remembering the clothes strewn all over the place when trying to find an outfit this morning. Thankfully, the gentleman that he is, doesn't comment on it and instead smiles before looking down at me again.
"I love it in here." He tells me, pulling me back towards him to lay my head in my happy place. I take a deep breath of pine and safety before I answer.
"Why?" I ask softly. "It's not big like yours." I picture my room, a twin size bed, a desk, a couple chairs and a bathroom. Nothing special about it at all.
"Exactly. There's no unnecessary space, it feels cozy and lived in, in here. And it looks how you smell." He explains and I frown.
"Looks how I smell?" I ask him, using my arm to wipe the snot from my nose, fully expecting a shower once I'm feeling okay enough to step out of James' reach and sight.
"You smell so calm like honey and sunshine. It's so grounding and peaceful. You're yellow curtains and cream walls makes it look like honey and the sun melted together. Coupled with the fact that it smells so completely like you? This room is easily my favorite place in the world." I'm blushing harshly once he's done, his words doing nothing to help calm my heart down.
I begin to squirm a little as I feel the need to pee growing stronger with each second until eventually I give in and begin to move myself from my place on James' lap. He emits a little growl and tightens his arms around me.
"Where are you going?" He asks and his tone is scared as if he's as terrified of letting me go as I am of not seeing him.
"James I have to pee." I tell him, wiggling in his lap as the desire grows stronger and stronger.
"Can I come too?" The fake pouty look has me giggling all over the place making me shake and squirm to get out, hands fluttering against his chest rapidly.
"You're like a big papa bear, so over bearing." I tell him between giggles, nearly falling out once I realize my own pun. James chuckles in his throat and nuzzles my neck softly before he reluctantly lets his arms fall from around me. I give him a quick kiss on the cheek as I scramble off his lap and to the bathroom.
I go to close it all the way, but as my anxiety shoots up and I hear my Mate whine, I decide to leave it open, turning my back to the opening as I relieve myself. I sigh in bliss once I'm done, washing my hands thoroughly before I dry them and head back to my Mate.
He's sitting patiently on the edge of the bed, hands wringing in anxiety until I'm back in reach. I'm immediately grabbed into his arms, and he lays down in the bed, trapping me against the windowed wall and his lean body. He seems to breath a sigh of relief once I'm there and I give him another comforting kiss on his chin this time.
"Papa bear, huh?" He asks after a couple minutes of silence. I giggle, hand flying over my mouth to silence it.
"Yup." I say, popping the 'P' as I poke his chest lightly. "A big, grumpy, overprotective, sweet papa bear." I tell him with a smile. He laughs, his eyes closing as he tilting his head back, his throat bobbing sexily.
"Grumpy and sweet?" He asks.
"Yes yes, listen up old man." I chastise him with a fake frown and he chuckles before squeezing me into his chest.
"Well since you're my Carramel-Bear I guess it's only fair." He says, pulling the blanket over the two of us as we settle down.
We're silent for a couple of minutes. Neither of us talking but both aware of us being awake. There's an elephant the room that's so scary to touch and talk about, but even scarier to ignore. And for the first time, I'm the one who takes the first step.
"My birthday's in two days." I tell him quietly and I feel his body tense up but he stays quiet, as if ignoring the question biting our minds and brain would go away if we just don't talk about it. "What if we aren't Mates?" I whisper, voice cracking in fear.
James growls in his chest in denial. "We're Mates Carramel." He tells me and I whimper, because I can't tell who he's trying to convince, me or him.
"But we don't know James." I press, fear coming to choke me like a vice. It's no longer about saving my virtue or that fact that we've been so public about it, it's the fact that I have started to fall irreversibly in love with this man, and if he's not my Mate it will break me.
'He's our Mate, Carramel, I can feel it.' Jessie tries to assure me but I continue to ignore her input. As soon as I can figure out how to lock the bastard away, I will, I never want to listen to her voice in my head again.
"I promise you, bean, no matter what happens two days from now, we will be together." He growls in a promise and I have shivers racking up my spine at the underlying meaning in his tone.
"Can we do something for my birthday?" I ask trying to change the topic and I hear him take a audible breath to calm himself.
"Of course, Carramel, what did you have in mind?"
I fidget before I answer, nervous about being denied though I know the thought is irrational. "Can we go to my family's old cabin in the mountains? We can leave after school tomorrow and have a long weekend." I tell him, silently begging him to agree so I can have him all to myself. So that even if, Goddess forbid, this amazing man isn't my Mate, I still have a few days to say goodbye.
"Hmmm." He hums as he thinks. "What's today Wednesday?" He asks.
"Yeah." I confirm, heart racing at the fact that he's thinking about it.
"Monday is a holiday, so if we leave after school tomorrow we'll only miss one day, and we can have a five day vacation." He thinks out loud. I mentally squeal that Monday is a holiday, the fact helping my argument along. "Let me think about it after we rest, I would have to make preparations tonight and tomorrow before school if we go."
My hope deflates once I remember that my Mate is an Alpha and up and leaving your pack short notice isn't the best thing to do. I sigh as I nod to him in answer, no longer as excited. Maybe we can do something here in Kaulike. I shut my eyes and send out a prayer before sleep takes over.
I've never asked for anything since my parents died, please, don't take this man away from me too.