Bobby sat in the living room. He was seriously talking on the phone.
"So, no news at all, Fred? No progress?" Bobby was restless. There was still no news about Yuana.
"Not yet, Bob. I'll keep looking for Yuan. Once the contract is over, I'll focus on looking for her. I won't often accept jobs. My bandmates also understand this," replied Manfred.
"Okay. Hopefully, there'll be a bright spot soon, Fred," said Bobby.
Call done. Bobby was pensive. He thought about Yuana more often since Yuana had gone somewhere. Many questions were popping up in his head.
"If I had never been forced to marry Lisa, would I have stayed with Yuana? Isn't it possible that Yuana and I are together and happy now? If I refused to marry Lisa, maybe I'm going to marry Yuana now, right? I'm really worried about it."
Bobby's mind wandered back in time when he was still with Yuana. He had many times laughed together with the cheerful beautiful girl. He tried to comfort her when she cried and was confused about her complicated life. Making Yuana smile again was very pleasant for Bobby.
If he didn't have to be with Lisa, maybe he was still with Yuana. He and Yuana might have been married, but together, embracing hope from the very beginning Bobby realized he was in love with Yuana.
"Bob, eat first, let's ...." Lisa approached Bobby. She had finished preparing dinner.
"Yeah, Yu ... a minute ...." Bobby looked at Lisa. Lisa looked back at him. Yes, Bobby just called 'Yu'. That meant Yuana, right? Did Lisa hear wrong?
Seeing Bobby's look who also looked shocked, Lisa must have been right. Bobby did mention Yuana's name. Bobby still thought about his ex-girlfriend.
"I'll be waiting in the dining room." Lisa's gaze changed. She turned around and went into the dining room.
There Lisa was crying. Her heart was sad. Although they had been living together, Bobby had not been able to completely release Yuana. Especially since knowing Yuana was missing, he was more often pensive. He didn't talk much about Yuana, but Lisa knew Bobby was very worried about her. Bobby wanted to be sure immediately if Yuana was okay.
"It turns out that what I have done for him so far is not enough. His heart still hasn't changed. Bobby's heart still belongs to Yuana," Lisa thought bitterly.
Lisa took the rice on the plate, then she put the side dish, bowed her head, and prayed. She started eating, without waiting for Bobby. It felt like food had refused to enter her throat. But she was just forced to enjoy the dish in front of Bobby.
Bobby entered the dining room. "Hey, you are not waiting for me," Bobby said. Usually, Lisa would get Bobby a new meal, she took it for himself.
Bobby sat next to Lisa. Lisa got Bobby's food. "Here, Bob." Lisa handed Bobby's plate.
"Thank you, Liz." Bobby smiled. Lisa didn't answer. She looked back at his plate. Her throat felt tighter and tighter. Lisa slowly ate. Her mind was really confused.
The two of them didn't talk like they used to. Lisa would ask several things during their conversation, or Bobby would also tell stories and asked many things.
"Bob, I'll go first." Lisa stood up. There was still food left. She could no longer swallow. Lisa threw the leftovers in the trash, washed her dishes, and went to her room.
Lisa was crying again. Approaching three years into her marriage, living with Bobby, she thought everything was safe. She felt Bobby who was so kind, patient, romantic, and affectionate towards him. To her, Bobby was a true man, a dream man. He was present when the pain of life hit Liza so hard. Lisa could be strong because there was Bobby by her side.
Lisa wasn't angry because Bobby was thinking about Yuana. She could understand if Bobby was worried. Lisa also felt the same. Lisa and Yuana were already friends. Lisa was worried about what happened to Yuana. Lisa didn't even forget to mention Yuana in a prayer that she was fine wherever she was. However, Lisa realized that Yuana was still deeply embedded in Bobby's heart. It was not Lisa there. Lisa remained a mere status for Bobby.
It turned out that Bobby did it out of promise and responsibility. Already. It was where the limit was. Lisa had poured out all the feelings in her heart for Bobby. Her love, soul, and body belong to Bobby. Whole, for Bobby only. Would it be wrong if she wished Bobby had the same? Shouldn't she wish that her husband also had a love for her?
Lisa sat on a chair in the room. She wiped the tears that trickled down her cheeks.
Bobby came into the room. "Lis ...." He approached Lisa. Lisa quickly rubbed her eyes. She didn't want Bobby to see her cry.
"Yeah ...." Her voice was a little hoarse. "What is wrong, Bob? Do you need something?"
"Are you alright?" Bobby asked. In the dining room, Bobby felt Lisa was a little lethargic. He could guess why.
Bobby's question made Lisa want to cry even more. But he chose to remain silent.
"Lis ...." Bobby sat on the bed. He pulled Lisa's hands gently, forcing her to turn around to look at him. "If there's something just say it. So, I know what you're thinking? Then, I can help you." Bobby's words were soft.
Lisa looked up at Bobby. Handsome, kind, gentle. Everything about Bobby was able to win Lisa's heart. She really loved Bobby, very grateful that God sent Bobby for her even though it started from a situation that seemed forced.
"Why are you so kind, Bob? Why? I can't help but love you even though I know your heart is still for Yuana," Lisa thought. Stings.
"Lis ... Did you hear what I said earlier?" Bobby asked. It meant Bobby mentioned Yuana's name. Bobby was sure, this was the trigger for Lisa to be depressed, not as cheerful as when Bobby came home that afternoon.
Lisa looked down, then she nodded.
"I'm really sorry. I, I didn't mean to," Bobby said. A stupid feeling rose at the end of Bobby's heart. Why did he even mention Yuana when Lisa called him?
Lisa didn't say anything. She knew Bobby had to be on purpose.
"Say something, Lisa." Bobby looked at Lisa.
Lisa let go of Bobby's grip, stood up, and walked over to the bedroom window. She looked out. Her tears fell again. "I don't know," Lisa said quietly.
"You must be angry and disappointed." Bobby stood next to Lisa. Lisa didn't answer, didn't turn around. She kept looking straight out the window.
"Since three years ago, Yuana has been free from me. Since I agreed to our marriage, I no longer have any relationship with her. And these three years, you have become my wife," said Bobby.
Lisa sighed. But what she faced was different.
"But your heart hasn't changed, Bob. Your love is still for Yuana," said Lisa quietly. It was hard to say.
"That's true. I still have a love for Yuan in my heart. But ...." Bobby grabbed Lisa's shoulders and turned her to him. "The truth can't be changed, Lisa. You are my woman now. Elizabeth Prastika Utomo. In front of God and your late parents, I promise to love you. Only you."
Lisa ventured to look into Bobby's gentle eyes. "Bob, is it wrong that I'm angry? I'm jealous. Yuana means so much to you. While I ...."
"You have every right to be angry, Lisa. You have every right to be jealous. I was wrong for being too carried away. You were always by my side. You provided for all my needs. You washed my clothes and prepared my food. You slept with me, gave yourself completely. Not Yuana." Obviously, it was what Bobby and Lisa lived through.
"But you're thinking of her, Bob. Not me," said Lisa, quietly but stingingly.
"I was wrong. I'm sorry. She's just my friend now. Nothing more," Bobby said firmly.
"I love you so much, Bob. So much." Lisa looked down and rubbed her wet cheeks again.
"Lisa ...." Bobby pulled Lisa in his arms. "Really, forgive me. I am so grateful that you are my wife. You are a very good woman. You know how to do what is best for your husband. You, it is not a mistake if God allows us to be together. I am sure of it."
Lisa looked at Bobby. "Maybe I'm being too demanding. Feelings can't be forced. I know that."
"Be more patient with me, please ... I also want to love you with all my heart," Bobby said earnestly.
Lisa nodded. Bobby brought his face closer and released a passionate kiss on Lisa. Lisa immediately replied with great love.
"You are mine, Bob. I will fight for your love, not just you. I love you, so much ...." whispered Lisa in her heart.
"I don't want to be stupid anymore. Yuan is my past. Lisa, I will fight harder to love you. The space in my heart will only be filled with you," said Bobby's heart.
The deeper they intertwine.
*
Love, there are times when it's not just a matter of taste, but a decision to give full love.